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Thread: Swinging fantasy talk with my wife... will she become interested?

  1. #1

    Default Swinging fantasy talk with my wife... will she become interested?

    I'd love to swing, but I'm afraid the wife would never go for it (very Catholic). However, recently (within the last year) she has been open to increasingly graphic sexual talk during intercourse if I initiate it. Started out with standard stuff from me like "fuck me", moving on to "does that cock feel good?" and "Rub your clit on me while you take my cock in your cunt" stuff like that.
    All of this is a huge step for her (she was a virgin when I married her - the virgin thing is highly overrated).

    Last month I added "fuck me like we are having a threesome" and "you are so tight it feels like you have 2 cocks in your pussy, want another cock?" and she said "I want you" and "I want another of you". I didn't press it and we haven't talked about it.

    When I blurted out "I'd love to see another woman sucking on these tits" as I was about to cum from her riding me and having her tits swinging in my face, she said "not gonna happen, babe" - I let that die too.

    Also, in a strange moment of brutal honesty, I previously shared with her my threesome fantasies (MMF and MFM) and asked her for hers. She was kind of shocked to learn about them, but wasn't upset and didn't sound interested, but not judgemental either. For about the 3rd time asking her for hers in turn, she said she had none.

    So, even there is about a 100% chance she will never swing, I was wondering what you thought about this in general. And also, if you could recommend a decent amateur swinger DVD that isn't really crude or demeaning to women and isn't that fake stuff like the "fuck my wife please" tapes. She is very shy and has only seen about 10 minutes of a porno we rented in our hotel room once (and it wasn't a good one from what we saw).

    I am an extrememly highly sexually charged guy. She isn't on the same level as far as that is concerned but for her, she has come a long way.

    Thanks,
    Last edited by Fringeswinger; 08-19-2005 at 04:01 PM.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Fantasy talk with wife

    It's great that you are being honest with each other. That's a big-time key to a healthy relationship. Keep that up, no matter what.

    As for swinging, it seems as though she is giving you the stop sign, no question about it. I'd focus on making sex that much more intense and wonderful between the two of you. If you have fantasies like that, and she's cool with your honesty, well then OK. Don't hide yourself from her, but don't push. If she "comes to the table", then re-evaluate. If not, just enjoy each other. That's the necessary bedrock, no matter if you are a swinger or not. Good fortune to you both!

    Mr. Funk
    Not pushy, just funky.
    The cool points are out the window, and I'm all twisted up in the game...

  3. #3

    Default Re: Fantasy talk with wife

    Fringeswinger, when reading about your current situation I was having flashbacks.

    I was told she’d never be with anybody but me. She said she wasn’t at all interested or turned on by the idea of taking two cocks. She said that she’d NEVER be with another woman. She flat out turned me down for the last three years.

    About three weeks ago she spent over an hour eating and using a dildo on our friends pussy before asking her husband to fuck her. (which he didn't but will soon enough)

    She said that she enjoyed the experience and if it happens again it happens.

    All I did was assure her she could do anything she wanted as long as she enjoyed herself. That included doing nothing at all. I think we were lucky because our best friends play and that made it a lot easier for her to jump in.

    I'm just trying to tell you things can change. Just be supportive and DON’T PUSH her into anything. It has to be her decision in order for the experience to be enjoyable.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Fantasy talk with wife

    Welcome from Oklahoma, FringeSwinger! We're glad to have you with us. We like the attitude you have. Just keep communicating with your wife; you never know what might happen!

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
    —Will Rogers

  5. #5

    Default Re: Fantasy talk with wife

    I wouldn't keep pushing it, or go get swingers videos. Right now she doesn't want to, and the quickest way to make sure she doesn't ever want to is to keep pushing the subject.

    Guaranteed she has fantasies. If she doesn't her heart isn't beating. But, she may just be really afraid to reveal them. Fear of you not respecting her, guilt, etc. Just be patient. It may happen, it may never happen. But you will have a great time together anyway.

    Mr. WS
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
    Blog: Bigger Love

  6. #6

    Default Re: Fantasy talk with wife

    Hello everyone. My husband and I are new to this, and just "checking it out." We are very open and honest about our fantasies, and talk about them alot during sex!! It is GREAT when we are doing it, but when it is over......... That is a different story! I feel bad most of the time, that maybe something that I said may have hurt his feelings. (He says they dont, most of the time, but you know men!?) And he is always asking me if I meant what I said while we were talking about it. "Did you really want to do that?" Or "Do you really think about that stuff?" We are thinking about getting into swinging, but I am worried about it! Is it a good thing to explore, if you worry about what your 'fantasy' has done to your partner? Just curious because we are best friends, and dont want to ruin that because of our curiousity! Any advice would help... Thanks so much!

  7. #7

    Default Re: Fantasy talk with wife

    The prevaling sentiment is sure to be talk to your wife and communicate all of your feelings. Bring her here and share your thoughts and desires. Let her know that there is no threat externally and that you only wish to deepen your relationship and share new experiences, feelings and pleasures.
    Good luck and enjoy each other.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Fantasy talk with wife

    Mamaflyeater:

    What are the fantasies you have? Still waiting for my wife to reply. Maybe if I ask her to write them down she will be more forthcoming?

  9. #9

    Default Re: Fantasy talk with wife

    I am also new to the idea of swinging. I thought that my husband would think bad of me if I brought it up but was shocked when I finally got the nerve to talk to him about it. Come to find out he wasn't the good boy growing up. Him and his friends had alot of group parties and he told me all about them.
    It's amazing what you learn once you get the nerve to ask.

  10. #10

    Default Re: Fantasy talk with wife

    Quote Originally Posted by Fringeswinger
    Mamaflyeater:

    What are the fantasies you have? Still waiting for my wife to reply. Maybe if I ask her to write them down she will be more forthcoming?
    My fantasies? Well, my first fantasy is that my husband would come home with a male 'friend', and order me to have sex with him, while giving him head (or watch him masturbate) facelick He would talk about holding me down while the other man would have sex with me!
    Another fantasy that my husband would have, that I got into for him, was that a group of males would "take their turn" while he watched. It would get more in detail while we were talking about it during having sex, but that is the short story of our fantasies.
    We talk about alot of different things, that make us a little uncomfortable afterward! Another one is with a female..... I have always wanted to be able to do something like that, but I dont know that I would be able to watch my husband pleasure another woman!!!!
    Is that normal to feel bad at first, when you have fantasies? Is that something that will go away when you get comfortable with it? Or is it something that will carry on if we decided to live out our fantasy?



    And about getting your wife to talk about her fantasy....... We started by talking about it during sex. You could always say something, and ask her if she likes it! But if she doesnt......... Leave it alone in that way, and maybe talk to her about it AFTER!!! But make the fantasy about her.. and how you would want it to please her!!! Dont make it about you (at first) she might be more likely to turn it down!!!
    Last edited by MrandMrsT; 08-22-2005 at 03:27 PM. Reason: Typo

  11. #11

    Default Re: Fantasy talk with wife

    Hi Fringeswinger, My husband sounds like your wife,good boy, only serious relatationships, straight mom and pop sex before me, I allowed him to live out his fantisies(things he never DARED to do with his ex, he's kind of a kinky fuck) I told him my fantisies about going back to playing and he went paronoid on me thinking he wasn't enough for me and thinking that once I get an idea iI would go through with it. It was hell week,and I had a hell of a time getting it through his head that I would NEVER play without his consent, and that it wasn't about love and emotiontional fulfillment (my cup runnith over with that from he and our child) it was just about the sex, purley physical. Anyway...now he says he has gotton used to the idea nd he may someday actually want to try it....so slow and easy no pressure, and always be open and talk to each other, ya never know, it might happen, it might not, but, whatever the outcome you will still have each other and that is what's important.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Fantasy talk with wife

    I find it fascinating where the woman is the instigator (Mama, Lisa and Chastity) and a HUGE turn on. I guess that has moved to the top of my fantasy list - wife saying "I think we ought to try the swing thing". Although there is 100% chance of that NOT happening, if she only shares a few hot fantasies with me I will be happy.

    Given her history, I think if I heard her say (and it would only happen during sex) "I want another cock in me" or "I want to watch you fuck some bitch" I would explode for about 5 minutes straight and then pass out.

    The threesome thing has control of my fantasies right now, specifically the MFM. I'm not bi, I just key on my wife's happiness. Don't misunderstand, a FMF would be ultimate for ME, but at least in fantasy world where we "talk" about it, the MFM brief mention just before orgasm has been all I have been able to get away with.

    Do you think mention of a foursome is too much or not that different from a threesome? I've never mentioned the word "swinger" during sex, and as I mentioned before, she wasn't too keen on the idea of another woman sucking on her tits.

    I just don't know how to move forward to escalate our fantasy talk (or get her to open up). Do you think she believes telling me she has these thoughts will upset me (make me jealous or feel inferior)? Nothing could be farther from the truth! I constantly fantasize about watching her get fucked and deriving pleasure from another big cock - seeing her HAPPY - not used or loaned out. But I guess that is a fine line in most women's minds.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Fantasy talk with wife

    dear Lisa. I ,am a single male deforst after 30 years, Now I hav back my freedom to chat and make joke,s and talk a little naughty to other women on internet.
    I am from the Netherlands, my wive never like the sex as well. If there whas some xxxmovie on tv ,!! sy put the power off, so I have missing al lot off my hobby, I can,t without a naughty talk . I read a book form a USA psig: sy write that 75 % off the married women have some confidential demand..

    This is for my a change to make new contacts and let my by the nameless one what kan realize virtuele fulfillment.

    I hope that there are more female what read this reaction on Lisa question
    and will giff some reaction to .

    So Lisa what I will answer is !!!!!! gib your secred baby.!!!

    Johny from the Netherlands..

    bossiebrassa on yahoo

    Ps, If you like to make a nameless contact call my on my email adres.!!

    I downd now off I have permission to write it, so seek it and add my to your list!!
    Last edited by long18; 08-24-2005 at 02:13 PM.

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