Has everyone had fantasies of threesomes and group sex?

[Buck]

Sexhoundog and EBF thanks for your quick responses. Both of your suggestions about getting her to share her fantasies is well taken; however, when I have asked her about it in the past she says she has none, or, they are thoughts of me. Can you believe that? I have always thought that everyone has fantasies and still believe that, but I think she is relunctant to share them for whatever reason. She is pretty reserved and doesn't verbalize much, but she is a real tiger in the bedroom. She will suggest certain movies to watch but they are not necessarily movies about 3-somes but just the ones with the male porn stars she likes to watch primarily. Certain stars do turn her on more than others so I know the thouht of screwing them has to be in her brain somewhere. Iknow she is not at the point to go somewhere and "pick some guy out" scenerio. I think it will almost have to be an accidental thing because I don't think she will ever admit to want to do it consciously or pre-determined if you understand what I mean. Anyway, your suggestion about getting her to share hr fantasies is well taken and I think the next step. Now that she we are communicating more openly maybe she will feel more free to share those. Looking forward to you thoughts again. Thanks!

[Sibella]

Hey Buck!
Thanks for asking. Well, my weekend was fantastic, I am exhausted though! Friday we went out wth our friends like we had planned and had a great time at this small-town bar we go to. We all got WAY too drunk, now I remember why I don't do that very often! lol! Anyway, we were discussing the party my friends are throwing for my birthday this coming weekend. I am bringing jello shots. My friend, the female, told me they just finished painting the spare room so we can stay over if we want/need to. I'm sure she meant because of the drinking involved, but I looked at my husband and we exchanged grins.

We have had sex 10 times in the last seven straight days. Only once was it a threesome. I think I'm all outta juice. We decided to take a couple days off to gear up for this weekend. I have no idea what will happen at this party! P.S. our threesome friend will be there w/ his SO who is extremely closed to anything even remotely adventurous; even with him alone.

Regarding your wife; you are a wonderful man, to respect her enough to leave it alone for now. We havbe only begun talking about our fantasies in the last couple years. The trust has been built up so much from that, and it overflows to everyday marriage things also. Communication is the most important thing. We have become true friends as well as lovers and spouses.

I am not actively seeking another threesome anytime soon. It's fun but my focus is on my husband. He will always be number one priority. Do I think it'll happen again? Yes. In fact the three of us have Columbus day off work, so I won't be surprised if we get a visit while the kids are at school. But if that doesn't happen, I'm fine with that too. It is just one more way our marriage has exanded the last few years. I'm just relaxing with it all.
Have a loving and wonderful week, everyone!
Sibella

[Sibella]

Hey Buck,
She's telling the truth! I hardly ever fantasize. For instance when masterbating withy a bullet or something, I just close my eyes and lose myself in the sensations. I don't really picture anything in my mind. Most of my sex dreams are about my husband. I think he is really hot! I know guys find this hard to believe, but at least with me it is true.

Now lately, I have had a fantasy of our friend coming over unexpectedly. I ask him where my husband (they work together) and he tells me he'll be there soon; that he's giving us a ten minute headstart. He undresses me and we get things started. My husband just stands in the doorway, stroking himself while he watches until he can't take it anymore and joins in.

I haven't shared that one with my husband yet, because I don't know if he would be hurt by the fact I'd want to start out alone with our friend. This is a very tricky situation, and I don't want to hurt anyone.

If she is having fantasies, she will share them eventually, when she feels safe to. You seem like a loving and patient guy.
Good luck!
Sibella

[saranmark]

I'm with you, Sibella!!

I don't fantasize all that often, either. When I masturbate, I simply close my eyes and concentrate on what I am feeling.

Now, I do occasionally have fantasies. My favorite is one of myself and another woman giving my husband oral, kissing each other and then kissing him... We haven't actually done that yet, so it is still a fantasy. It is just one of those things that I think about sometimes in the last few minutes before sleep comes to me.

I wonder if we are different than other women, or if most are like us???

Best,
SARA

[Sibella]

Hi Sara,
I'm not sure. My husband finds it hard to believe I don't fantasize that much. I guess because guys think about stuff like that more? I have no clue. When I do fantasize, mine are long, involved vinnettes; I guess because I'm a fiction writer, so I set up a scene and everything, in my head. The encounters might be more romantic or sensual in nature rather than graphic; none the less, they do get me hot. I guess it's whatever gets you to that point.

Glad Im not alone in thinking this way.
Sibella

[Buck]

Sara and Sibella, you can't imagine how much you are helping me to finally understand my wife after 20+ years of marriage. When she has told me she doesn't fantasize I just thought she wasn't comfortable sharing them with me. Now, you two reinforce the notion that in fact she may not fantasize like I do. Also, Sibella, you mentioned that the open discussion between you and your husband had deepened the trust level between you. That has happened with us too, especially since my wife is becoming convinced that I would never force her to do anything she wouldn't want to. I think maybe that has concerned her in the past although I never, ever tried to force anything. Another interesting revelation concerning the recent communication between me and my wife is that it has been primarily through e-mail the past few days, even though we spend every night together. I think she is just more comfortable discussing these issues when we are not face to face. Isn't that wierd? Maybe not, because so many people open up on this board when they probalby wouldn't face to face. At any rate, among these ramblings, I hope you two understand what a help you have been to help me understand my wife better.
And EBF, thank you for your suggestion to "not let it die" at this point. Believe me, I won't and I think the e-mail method is a good way to keep it going. (I started to say "keep it up" but thought you may think Freud was slipping in somewhere-Ha!)
Also your suggestions about being super attentive to her needs
is working good too. Anyway, thanks EBF. Sibella, and Sara.

[Elusive BiFem]

Say, Buck...your comment on the e-mail thing struck me and was something that I had not thought of at all. That may be almost a form of fantasy for your wife. Yes, it does take the face-to-face aspect away and sometimes make it easier to say things we otherwise would not. I remember just a short time back I used to communicate in great deal with a fellow I was dating via e-mail although we saw and/or talked on the phone several times each and every day. I was just able to say things easier via e-mail. Also, that communication medium may allow ya'll to act like boyfriend/girlfriend and that might be a fantasy in and of itself after many years of marriage.
Good thought there! - EBF

[saranmark]

I'm with you again, Sibella. I generally think of long, detailed scenarios when I do actually fantasize. I think of the whole situation, and everything leading up to the actual sexual things.

And Buck, I am sure your wife is telling you the truth when she says she doesn't fantasize. I know that quite often, my husband will ask me to tell him a fantasy, and I will draw a blank... because I simply hadn't had one in quite a while. SO, more often than not, I will just make a graphic one up on the spur of the moment just to make my husband wildly turned on. Is this dishonest?? I don't think so... it's just making my husband happy.



I am glad that we could be of help to you!
Best,
Sara

[clecouple]

What I fantasize about (the Husband), goes back to when I was a teenager and would find my brother's Playboy. I always masturbated thinking about about how soft and beautiful their skin and bodies were. I don't why, but it goes back to childhood, but I've always admired girl's butts. So, especially masturbating to a Playboy I fantasize about rubbing up against those beautiful "tushes" and cumming all over them. I used pillows to simulate this and also to fantasize about being between some beautiful boobs!facelick facelick

Now, I tell my wife that she is the fantasy girl that I dreamed of all those years "reading" Playboy! WHICH IS TRUE! BECAUSE SHE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND HAS A SEXY TUSH and BEAUTIFUL BOOBIES THAT I CAN CUM ALL OVER!!!

I'll have to ask her to especially read this post and tell you about what she fantasizes about. I try and encourage her to at least read the posts on this website once a week.

That's her in the Avatar! Soon, we'll have the both of us there, but in the meantime I thought a nice picture of her would peak some interest!

[Buck]

Well Sara, Sibella, EBF and Sexhoundog it seems I've actually hit on the magic form of communication with my spouse about fantasy issues: E-mail. My spouse is pretty reserved, and while we have really great lines of communication and always have, she is really reserved about verbalizing about sexual issues. But just in the last few days it seems the e-mails I have sent her have opened up great new channels for us. I was watching TV on the bed last night and she read the e-mail I sent her yesterday afternoon and she came in and kissed me and said I'm going to let you take advantage of me! You can guess what came next. In my e-mail I took one of your suggestions and told her if she had fantasies I would be happy to hear them and she told me again that she really doesn't fantasize that much.......so ladies, you did me a BIG favor when you told me that you didn't either. I now I believe her when all along I just thought she was too shy to share them with me. You all have helped to make a great marriage even better. Thanks, Thanks, Thanks!

[BradAndJanet]

Hey Buck, it's great that you've hit on something that works for y'all! Happy times to you both!

-B

[Buck]

I can't believe this thread is going to die. It's been one of the more interesting threads I've seen in a while. That's probably because it is about the area I'm interested in most. At any rate, thanks to all you who have posted and given your advice.

SEXHOUNDOG WHERE ARE YOU?

[SexhoundDog]

SEXHOUNDOG WHERE ARE YOU?

I'm still here Buck, just been busy and haven't checked in. Gosh, I don't have that much to add. But if you are enjoying e-mail fantasies and she doesn't have an ultra-sensitive firewall where she works and isn't worried about others viewing her screen, maybe try sending her a couple of sexy porn pics.

There is a site I stumbled onto called www.myfreephotos.com which has ALL sorts of different pics. Big dicks, muffdiving, group sex, threesomes, you name it. Maybe insert a picture file and put in a few comments. Or better yet, take it to a photo editor software and personalize a nasty card!!

Let's hope we don't have to give up our fantasy and may it become a reality someday!

[wolfmaiden]

My hubby and I have talked about a mmf. The problem is how do we go about it???? He does not have any friends he hangs out with. He is a loner type person. He does talk about the mmf and how he would like to see another man do me from behind. He fantasizes about it while I am giving him head.
I also have a fantasy with him with another woman. When I fantasize it is like a feature length porno movie. I even have faces to some of these women. Maybe I should become a writer. lol

[DeesireCpl]

My partner and I have done many MMF , FFM and the group situation is all good ....I think the 3 sum fantasy has got to be the most popular fantasies next to 2 bisexual women making love.
One of my fantasies that I can only dream about is about 2 young bi males and myself watching and hhmmm maybe participating here and there .....wow something I know will never happen but hey it's fun to dream.
This lifestyle is all about fantasy and communication , respect and trust with all those in place you can have 1 hell of a time Even just telling your partner your fantasy is worth more than anything you can get in reality.
A word of advice to the newbie's some fantasies are just that a fantasy and better left in the mind , safer that way and way more fun !!!