Do you think my wife wants to discuss the idea of swinging?

[Brit_Pair]

Congratulations! Here's hoping you have a sensual, fulfilling time!

[SyberG&C]

your on your way!!


~G~

[So. Gentleman]

Still has not happened as of yet. All 4 of us are still in the talking stage. The other female half is VERY interested in me and the other male part is very interested in my wife. Hell as far as I can tell my wife is interested in him. They flirt all the time.

We have one problem tho. In the past I was very jealous. (Not very mature and insecure) I have finally grown up and put that behind me as long as everything is in the open and there is no lying or hiding of things from me. My wife is still a little hesitant to follow thru with things. I sat and watched the other male play with her breast as they were trying to be a little sneak about it. (or as I call it playing grab ass) Told her I knew what was going on and that it was fine. Even excited me. It surprised her that it excited me.

Sorry to ramble but I am looking for a way to assure her that everything is more than OK with me.

Probably just a situation where I have to be paitent and let things take there course.

[Brit_Pair]

You've probably nailed the solution with your last line. Patience is key, and will almost always pay dividends, whereas forcing an issue in this lifestyle can often bring about undesired (even disasterous) consequences.

You say your wife is still a little hesitant. Is that because of her own feelings, or is it because of the fact that you've been very jealous in the past? If it's the former, then as you've already concluded, be patient and let things run their course. If it's the latter, then you just need to keep communicating with her: tell her how you're feeling, how excited you are by the prospect of what lies ahead. She'll come to realise that you want this as much as she does.

[Elusive BiFem]

Good morning, So. Gentleman!

It seems there is a certain lag-time for most couples between making the decision to swing and actually doing so. Kind of like milestones, in a way... For most, (and I think this applies to singles, too) there is a time period of "thinking" about it, "investigating," "thinking" some more...and so on. Then the decision is made to go forward. In your case, ya'll already knew a couple and that cut short your time from deciding to go forward and actually finding a couple. Now, however, after the decision has been made, ya'll are going through the period of building up to the actual activity.

I don't think it is uncommon, once we have decided to go forward, to suddenly start thinking, "Ooops! What about this? And that?" and so forth and so on. Just other things you have to get squared in your mind. Almost like a hesitancy to make the final commitment...wondering if you've convered all the bases in your thought processes. Could something like this be what ya'll are encountering just now? We all make decisions in different ways...some slow and deliberate, others quick and to the point.

And one other question that kind of raised a red flag in my thoughts...well, maybe just a pink flag!

"I sat and watched the other male play with her breast as they were trying to be a little sneak about it."

It's a pink flag because maybe I don't understand the comment completely, but I don't think being "sneaky" has any place in a swinging relationship. Just a thought...-EBF

[So. Gentleman]

Not really sneaky but less than obvious. The other female was on the same couch with them and I was sitting across from them. I feel they both knew that I knew what was going on. As did the other female. (Knowing and that I knew)

I guess we are taking baby steps with this. And as I have heard from all of you that is the best way to approach it. Once you have finished there is no going back and trying to change something.

At first I was worried about the other husband but he is really cool about it, as is his wife. Actually found out from her that the other three had discussed this before I was brought up to speed. Of course they wanted me involved so we have all talked about it. Hell I am the one that has wanted this to happen for a long time. Evidently they (all 3 of them) have too.

Just a wait and see type thing. We are to get together this weekend so I will keep everyone up to date what has happened.

Thanks for all your valuable advice.

[Brit_Pair]

Everything seems to be moving in the right direction and at a good pace. Hope things continue to work out for you all. Keep us posted.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by So. Gentleman
The wife is all for it with the other couple. She has even went as far as talked to the other female about the possible encounter. She is all up for it as is her husband.
Now it will be just a matter of timing and everything.

Thanks for the update. Glad to hear things are progressing along for you.

[krustyandnancy]

So. Gentleman,

You have certainly earned the "Gentleman" part of your name! As a newbie, this topic was the first one I read on these boards, and it's been great to hear how well you've been managing the situation, and how well it seems to be developing for you and your wife. Your patience and ongoing forethought have obviously made all the difference, and if you keep it up, I can't see why things won't work out as well as (or even better than) you two have imagined. Stories such as yours definitely give newbie couples such as ourselves a lot of hope for our future in swinging!

Keep up the wonderful "work" (I know, it's not really work at all!), and definitely continue to keep all of us up-to-date on how everything works out.

-- Krusty (and Nancy)

[So. Gentleman]

Ok here is an update for everyone. We have been involved with the other couple several times. With both of us there and with just me and the other woman and my wife and the other man seperately.

We all have been ok to a point. The other man was feeling left out and felt his wife was not paying enough attention to him. That made him jealous. Things cooled for awhile until they had a FMF experience (that I had already enjoyed ) I had no problem with that. NONE at all. Especially since I had already been there and done that.

There has been some miscommunication between everyone and now he wants to call it quits and be friends. At least for awhile. Although the other 3 of us would like to continue. Any ideas on this? He felt like I got upset about the FMF thing which I was not a part of. That is farthest from the truth.

Just wanted some input from folks that might have been thru this before. All of us are going to stay close but ............some of us want more.

Any thoughts on this?

[Alura]

Y'all probably should stop playing until the question is resolved, based on the theory of proceeding at the speed of the slowest individual. I kind of think a discussion with all four involved might be the answer.

Mr. Alura