Wife suggested we go to titty bar, are we getting closer to swinging?

Hellboy · 11-03-2004, 11:47 PM

As a few of you know, I am new here and working on gauging my wife's interest in playing around a little. I have dropped a few hints and we have discussed a few things and all in all its looking pretty positive. The hard part is getting her to open up about her fantasies, which she has recently. Sex between us has gotten tremendously better over the last few months and I am convinced it has to do mostly with us both working out on a regular basis.

well, as she is very coy about her fantasies and this new improved sex (really, just more frequent--like 5-6 times a week and with a 3 yo and a 4month old in the house, that's impressive) Some things have opened up. I brought up the idea of going to a strip club and she said she would go for me. I asked her tonight (during 4play before I got her good... <EG> ) what she wanted to do for my birthday on Nov19......she said ...."titty bar"

I stopped dead in my tracks. It seems I planted the seed and it grew and now she is looking forward to it. This is definitely a step in the right direction...She has become more open in other ways as well.....she's not afraid to tell me what she wants before......OLD WAY : she points and giggles and asks me to "go down there" when she wants oral sex......NEW WAY: "Eat my pussy" ......Not that I have to be asked, but I am actually getting spoiled and enjoying it, so I let her direct now. Our timing with the kids and all is so screwed up, I pretty much have to wait for her to pronounce it "safe for nookie time" anyhow, but that's another discussion......Anyway, if your bored and looking for a long read to pass the time, there it is....just an update really.

Spoomonkey · 11-03-2004, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hellboy

like 5-6 times a week and with a 3 yo and a 4month old in the house, that's impressive

I agree...

That is very impressive!

Sounds like things are chuggin' right along. Good for you, Hellboy!

Keep us updated - here's hoping for an awesome end to this story.

Spoomonkey

LikeMinds321 · 11-04-2004, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hellboy

. . .She has become more open in other ways as well.....she's not afraid to tell me what she wants before......OLD WAY : she points and giggles and asks me to "go down there" when she wants oral sex......NEW WAY: "Eat my pussy" ....

I loved reading this Hellboy! It is so true that when you can begin verbalizing parts of your body (especially in casual language) you are moving in the right direction.

Congratulations! Keep us posted on the birthday plans...please!

LM

EvilMJ · 11-04-2004, 08:05 AM

Hellboy

I hear ya brother....!!! Kids can definately make spontanious sex a thing of the past!!1

We are lucky enough that our three year old doesn't move from his bed when he sleeps until morning. But there are times when I miss the old afternoon playtime.

It's great that you are not pressuring your wife and you are giving her a chance to explore things in her own pace...good work and good luck!!

hotsummers · 11-04-2004, 10:49 AM

Male Half here. My wife had to be very comfortable with me in knowing that I would not judge her, or think less of her if she opened up about her fantasies. Each person is different as far as what will make them comfortable to open up. Encourage her (not push her) to open up with her fantasies. Does she have a vibrator and does she use it?? If so, that is the time that many women nurture there fantasies. Let her use her toys with a little silent fondling from you, then after she comes ask her gently what pushed her over the edge. You might be surprised at what you hear!

SexhoundDog · 11-04-2004, 12:29 PM

Good for you, Hellboy. I've always absolutely loved it when a woman talked dirty to me, and sadly, there are so many who probably have the attitude that a woman is slutty if they talk that way. But I also think it's up to us men to coddle them along as well by doing our own dirty talking. Your wife's "eat my pussy" is a good first step. Maybe the next time you're doing the hot kissing to start things up, whisper in her ear "I can't wait to eat that hot pussy and I want you to cum all over my face." When she's giving you a good blowjob, don't be afraid to tell her how great she sucks cock. And if you don't have a vibrator, get her a cyberskin one, and after you've heated her up while eating her, slowly and gently slide that toy into her while you're eating her. I bet if you've got it warmed to body temperature, she'll think she's getting a cock and tongue at the same time. You might hear dirty talk you've never heard. I love to speak and listen to dirty talk! Definitely gets me hot!

Hellboy · 11-04-2004, 07:02 PM

To answer a question, yes, she has a vibrator.....only 3 months old, so you can see the progression......

Hellboy · 11-04-2004, 10:35 PM

I got cut off before I finished that last post. We bought our first vibrator about hmmmm..... actually about 6 months ago, but she was 7 months pregnant, so it got put away before we had much chance to use it. She has always maintained she 'never' masturbates ("I don't need too") knowing full well I do, but since she got the toy she has "once or twice" Really hot to hand it over and lay back to watch.........I think its pretty eveident that she fears what I will think...see...She is very attractive and I lack self confidence at times. So she is afraid to say "I fantasize about XYZ....because she is afraid I will think "I'm not good enough or some such.. . . . And I used to kinda be that way. She is 35 and me 29.... when we ment, 27/21 and she had been around the block a little more than I have in terms of raw numbers. And I let out that it bothered me a little because a girl I dated in college thought life was long, never ending porno movie. The problem is, she had no substance, no ambition where my wife is a magnificant woman. But I was gun shy. So while she felt used and abused by previous men in her life, I felt like I didn't want some one who's life revolved around sex. But it was flawed association on my part (to an extent) in that my ex's life centered on pleasing her desires(whether sexual, chemical, or otherwise) Liberal morality between the sheets was just a by product, or the substance she tried to use to fill the gaping hole in her soul.

Okay, so my wife met me, a safe guy who treated her like a queen and we lived happily ever after. She may or may not have fantasies, but she has kept them down, deep down.....I have seen some pics of her ex's in old scrap books and I have my charms but they are very attractive men. I can kick all their asses with my eyes closed, but....(just kidding...I really can, but I wanted to see if you were paying attention)

SO.....We have a lot of issues to work through to get to a point where we can start thinking about swinging. They are issues that are not important otherwise and I stress again, we have a magnificant relationship. All that being said (and its alot) I appreciate the friendly encouragement and more than that, I enjoy the frank and friendly atmosphere in here......

DBStPete · 11-04-2004, 11:24 PM

Sounds to me like you're doin' great, and movin' plenty fast.

I'd say just keep on that same track. One of my favorite things I like to do with my wife is to tell her what a good girl she is when she does something sexy. It sounds corny as I type it, but in bed I think it has worked, over time, to help her know that I really do like her inner sexual being and that there is nothing to be ashamed of.

DBStPete

LikeMinds321 · 11-05-2004, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DBStPete

Sounds to me like you're doin' great, and movin' plenty fast.

I'd say just keep on that same track. One of my favorite things I like to do with my wife is to tell her what a good girl she is when she does something sexy. It sounds corny as I type it, but in bed I think it has worked, over time, to help her know that I really do like her inner sexual being and that there is nothing to be ashamed of.

DBStPete

DBStPete - This sounds like such good advice.

Hellboy, I think your wife is a very fortunate woman to have you for her husband.

LM

ALilOEverything · 11-05-2004, 02:17 PM

I have small kids too and even I'm impressed

Good for you two! It sounds like you're on the right track, I look forward to hearing how things are progressing.

BradAndJanet · 11-05-2004, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DBStPete

... One of my favorite things I like to do with my wife is to tell her what a good girl she is when she does something sexy. ...

Yes indeed, that's a great thing to do, especially if your wife is shy (like mine.) It's working too...

-B

Hellboy · 11-06-2004, 11:11 PM

Thanks for all the support folks. As I said at the outset, if she is up for it, we will persue it, but if not, not the end of the world. If by hanging out in here I can learn a few things about sex and relationships in general, even if swinging does not become an option, I will be more than satisfied.

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11-03-2004, 11:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
Hellboy Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 59 Location: Texas Status: Couple	Wife suggested we go to titty bar, are we getting closer to swinging? As a few of you know, I am new here and working on gauging my wife's interest in playing around a little. I have dropped a few hints and we have discussed a few things and all in all its looking pretty positive. The hard part is getting her to open up about her fantasies, which she has recently. Sex between us has gotten tremendously better over the last few months and I am convinced it has to do mostly with us both working out on a regular basis. well, as she is very coy about her fantasies and this new improved sex (really, just more frequent--like 5-6 times a week and with a 3 yo and a 4month old in the house, that's impressive) Some things have opened up. I brought up the idea of going to a strip club and she said she would go for me. I asked her tonight (during 4play before I got her good... <EG> ) what she wanted to do for my birthday on Nov19......she said ...."titty bar" I stopped dead in my tracks. It seems I planted the seed and it grew and now she is looking forward to it. This is definitely a step in the right direction...She has become more open in other ways as well.....she's not afraid to tell me what she wants before......OLD WAY : she points and giggles and asks me to "go down there" when she wants oral sex......NEW WAY: "Eat my pussy" ......Not that I have to be asked, but I am actually getting spoiled and enjoying it, so I let her direct now. Our timing with the kids and all is so screwed up, I pretty much have to wait for her to pronounce it "safe for nookie time" anyhow, but that's another discussion......Anyway, if your bored and looking for a long read to pass the time, there it is....just an update really.

11-04-2004, 08:05 AM	#4 (permalink)
EvilMJ Pure Evil..In a cute suit Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 2,497 Location: Nova Scotia Status: Couple	Re: This is interesting..... Hellboy I hear ya brother....!!! Kids can definately make spontanious sex a thing of the past!!1 We are lucky enough that our three year old doesn't move from his bed when he sleeps until morning. But there are times when I miss the old afternoon playtime. It's great that you are not pressuring your wife and you are giving her a chance to explore things in her own pace...good work and good luck!!
	__________________ "Well! Evil to some is always good to others." - Jane Austen

11-04-2004, 10:49 AM	#5 (permalink)
hotsummers Active Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 35 Location: Tennessee	Re: This is interesting..... Male Half here. My wife had to be very comfortable with me in knowing that I would not judge her, or think less of her if she opened up about her fantasies. Each person is different as far as what will make them comfortable to open up. Encourage her (not push her) to open up with her fantasies. Does she have a vibrator and does she use it?? If so, that is the time that many women nurture there fantasies. Let her use her toys with a little silent fondling from you, then after she comes ask her gently what pushed her over the edge. You might be surprised at what you hear!

11-04-2004, 12:29 PM	#6 (permalink)
SexhoundDog Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 357 Location: Colorado Status: M.Male	Re: This is interesting..... Good for you, Hellboy. I've always absolutely loved it when a woman talked dirty to me, and sadly, there are so many who probably have the attitude that a woman is slutty if they talk that way. But I also think it's up to us men to coddle them along as well by doing our own dirty talking. Your wife's "eat my pussy" is a good first step. Maybe the next time you're doing the hot kissing to start things up, whisper in her ear "I can't wait to eat that hot pussy and I want you to cum all over my face." When she's giving you a good blowjob, don't be afraid to tell her how great she sucks cock. And if you don't have a vibrator, get her a cyberskin one, and after you've heated her up while eating her, slowly and gently slide that toy into her while you're eating her. I bet if you've got it warmed to body temperature, she'll think she's getting a cock and tongue at the same time. You might hear dirty talk you've never heard. I love to speak and listen to dirty talk! Definitely gets me hot!

11-04-2004, 07:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
Hellboy Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 59 Location: Texas Status: Couple	Re: This is interesting..... To answer a question, yes, she has a vibrator.....only 3 months old, so you can see the progression......

11-04-2004, 10:35 PM	#8 (permalink)
Hellboy Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 59 Location: Texas Status: Couple	Re: This is interesting..... I got cut off before I finished that last post. We bought our first vibrator about hmmmm..... actually about 6 months ago, but she was 7 months pregnant, so it got put away before we had much chance to use it. She has always maintained she 'never' masturbates ("I don't need too") knowing full well I do, but since she got the toy she has "once or twice" Really hot to hand it over and lay back to watch.........I think its pretty eveident that she fears what I will think...see...She is very attractive and I lack self confidence at times. So she is afraid to say "I fantasize about XYZ....because she is afraid I will think "I'm not good enough or some such.. . . . And I used to kinda be that way. She is 35 and me 29.... when we ment, 27/21 and she had been around the block a little more than I have in terms of raw numbers. And I let out that it bothered me a little because a girl I dated in college thought life was long, never ending porno movie. The problem is, she had no substance, no ambition where my wife is a magnificant woman. But I was gun shy. So while she felt used and abused by previous men in her life, I felt like I didn't want some one who's life revolved around sex. But it was flawed association on my part (to an extent) in that my ex's life centered on pleasing her desires(whether sexual, chemical, or otherwise) Liberal morality between the sheets was just a by product, or the substance she tried to use to fill the gaping hole in her soul. Okay, so my wife met me, a safe guy who treated her like a queen and we lived happily ever after. She may or may not have fantasies, but she has kept them down, deep down.....I have seen some pics of her ex's in old scrap books and I have my charms but they are very attractive men. I can kick all their asses with my eyes closed, but....(just kidding...I really can, but I wanted to see if you were paying attention) SO.....We have a lot of issues to work through to get to a point where we can start thinking about swinging. They are issues that are not important otherwise and I stress again, we have a magnificant relationship. All that being said (and its alot) I appreciate the friendly encouragement and more than that, I enjoy the frank and friendly atmosphere in here......

11-04-2004, 11:24 PM	#9 (permalink)
DBStPete Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 81 Location: St. Pete. Florida Status: Married 31 yr Swing Lifestyle Name:DBStPete	Re: This is interesting..... Sounds to me like you're doin' great, and movin' plenty fast. I'd say just keep on that same track. One of my favorite things I like to do with my wife is to tell her what a good girl she is when she does something sexy. It sounds corny as I type it, but in bed I think it has worked, over time, to help her know that I really do like her inner sexual being and that there is nothing to be ashamed of. DBStPete
	__________________ What's in your head? What's in your heart? What's between your legs? Let's get down to brass tacks here! - B :kissface:

11-05-2004, 02:17 PM	#11 (permalink)
ALilOEverything A Little Of Everything Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,847 Location: Michigan Status: M. Female Swing Lifestyle Name:aliloeverything	Re: This is interesting..... I have small kids too and even I'm impressed Good for you two! It sounds like you're on the right track, I look forward to hearing how things are progressing.
	__________________ ~Lilo

11-06-2004, 11:11 PM	#13 (permalink)
Hellboy Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 59 Location: Texas Status: Couple	Re: This is interesting..... Thanks for all the support folks. As I said at the outset, if she is up for it, we will persue it, but if not, not the end of the world. If by hanging out in here I can learn a few things about sex and relationships in general, even if swinging does not become an option, I will be more than satisfied.

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