Sharing Pictures

[OhioCouple]

Another carry over from last nights topics on 'Discretion' and your expectations from those that you share them with.

While we don't ever send out x-rated pic's to anyone, we will send out pics of us in the G-rated format. And any pictures that are explicit and taken of us together, I expect them to remain within the confines of those that participated. However, I prefer that even the G-rated pics not be shared with anyone without our permission or knowledge. Am I being to stringent on that? Too, over protective? A lot of good points were brought up in the chat, however... even though we don't have children at home, they all have computers and are pretty computer saavy. I wouldn't want them just floating around anywhere or being shown to who ever.

Perhaps it is because we are still fairly new to the lifestyle (2 years) but we still think about things such as career and community status...not to mention our families.

Not too awfully long ago, we had a request from someone that we thoroughly trust, ask if we would share a pic of someone that they knew, we knew of them. I sort of deflected from it at the time and then in turn, emailed the person in question and gave them the choice of whether or not they wanted to share a picture with the ones that asked. Not only did I not want to be in the middle of it, but I didn't feel it was my place to share any one else's pictures that were sent privately to me.

Again, going back to the ad site we now no longer belong too, there were some people that would share their weekend adventures in 'living color' for everybody and their brother to see in the live photo chat room. Faces, body parts...you name it. That was real freaky to me. Especially since anyone can sign up for a trial membership and jump in and see darn near anything they wanted.

How do the rest of you feel about this?

[J & K]

We feel that if a cpl sends us pics we keep them private or delete them right after we get them. If you send out X-rated pics without a face it should be ok because no one will know it is you anyways unless your Dad or Mom know your scars, moles, and birthmarks on your body----lol. Hell---someone may even use your body pic and attach a famous movie star's head to it---wow---your body is famous now---hehehehehe!!!

The G-rated face pics---no big deal. If you have clothes on your ok even if someone sends them out to another person. Never know---you might end up being someone's screen saver.

All-in-All---send pics and the kinds you feel are ok to those you trust. We know on our end if we can't see a face pic in order for a first time meeting then we don't meet.

We are sure there are other views on this subject as well.

-J and K

[windsor4fun2]

Good question Mrs. O.
While I do not have a lot of worries concerning other people finding out about our participation in swinging I don't advertise the fact either. Our business is our business. When dealing with discretion the level should be up to the standard of the most concerned not the least. Just like you should only go as fast as the slowest member.
Anyone passing on photos, R-rated or otherwise should check with the people involved. That is only commom courtesy. Before passing on any personal information someone should ask permission.

Jesse

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by windsor4fun2
Anyone passing on photos, R-rated or otherwise should check with the people involved. That is only commom courtesy. Before passing on any personal information someone should ask permission.

But then, Jesse, the question becomes...How do you (as a viewer) know that the permission was given? You really don't. It isn't like you can attach a permission slip to it. Maybe the only way that you could make sure everyone is in the loop is to send the same to all those involved including the person that requested it?

But again that would not even begin to prove it to you, if they are sharing pictures on an open to all live chat area.

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
...Not too awfully long ago, we had a request from someone that we thoroughly trust, ask if we would share a pic of someone that they knew, we knew of them. I sort of deflected from it at the time and then in turn, emailed the person in question and gave them the choice of whether or not they wanted to share a picture with the ones that asked. Not only did I not want to be in the middle of it, but I didn't feel it was my place to share any one else's pictures that were sent privately to me.
...

I think you were absolutely correct in what you did. It's not your place to decide for a third party whether they would like to share their picture, even if you all know each other online. Better to leave that to them to decide. The requester should have realized that too, I would think.

-B

[naughty A]

at parties that I have been to...

the participants are told before a photo is taken... some cases these photos are specifically for a website... the participants have always been informed first ... they also had the option of removing themselves from the scene or having their face blocked after.

could that be the same type of arrangement these other posted photos ?

Originally posted by OhioCouple
...Not too awfully long ago, we had a request from someone that we thoroughly trust, ask if we would share a pic of someone that they knew

as for the people asking for you to send a photo of a third party... that seems so ... odd....

I could see my asking you to forward a picture of myself to someone... (my computer is down/lost the original file... etc...)
but to ask you for a photo of someone else... odd...

can you tell us the end result of that situation?

I feel like signing up!

wait...the quote thing didnt work...lets try this...

Again, going back to the ad site we now no longer belong too, there were some people that would share their weekend adventures in 'living color' for everybody and their brother to see in the live photo chat room. Faces, body parts...you name it. That was real freaky to me. Especially since anyone can sign up for a trial membership and jump in and see darn near anything they wanted.

How do the rest of you feel about this?

I feel like signing up!

i was trying to be funny...

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by naughty A
...can you tell us the end result of that situation?

I don't really know for sure. But it was no longer in my hands and that is what was most important to me.

the participants are told before a photo is taken... some cases these photos are specifically for a website... the participants have always been informed first ... they also had the option of removing themselves from the scene or having their face blocked after.

Actually these pics weren't taken at clubs. They were taken in hotel rooms. We've never been to a club that allows a camera as they are all on premise, and around here, no camera or recording device is allowed.

I could see my asking you to forward a picture of myself to someone... (my computer is down/lost the original file... etc...)

In this case though, (which I could understand) the only way that I would do it would be to 'OPENLY' send it all parties to see that the original picture was agreed upon by both myself and the others in question. Meaning, if I had a picture of you and you said it was okay to forward it to someone else, I'd send it to both you and the party in question, even though you already know what you look like. But at least it lets everyone know that all are in the loop.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Seymore
I feel like signing up!

You can decide for yourself, just click Here It is always interesting....

We dropped our membership in March of this year and this was one of the main reasons.

[windsor4fun2]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
the question becomes...How do you (as a viewer) know that the permission was given?

Without talking to the people involved you wouldn't know for sure if permision has been given to distribute the photos. At this point what is important is what you do with the photos. If they are on a website so there is not much you can do except don't look. If they are sent to you delete them and don't forward.

Unless you are prepared to get in the middle of things there is not much else you can do if someone else is distributing things.

Jesse

[Brit_Pair]

As we see it, photographs are likely to remain a thorny issue. After all, a picture speaks a thousand words, and nothing reveals who you are – and the things you enjoy doing – like a photograph does. At the end of the day though, if it’s your image, you should have the right to say what happens to it.

Most people will surely realise that when they release an image, whether it’s in the form of a negative delivered to a developer, or a digital shot posted on the Internet, they surrender a certain amount of themselves to the scruples of others. As has already been discussed in the question Mrs O posted on discretion, the consequences of allowing revelatory photographs to fall into the hands of the unscrupulous can be disastrous.

Therefore, we’d consider Mrs O’s stance to be far from over-protective. Rather, it appears as a realistic attitude, based upon a realisation of potential consequences, and an understanding that there are people out there who have few – if any – scruples when it comes to considering the thoughts of others.

We wouldn’t thank anyone for asking us to provide photographs of a second party to a third, even if they were both aware of each other. Let them sort it out between themselves. No fallout. As for participating at events where either still or digital cameras were functioning . . . well, we wouldn’t, no matter how openly the photography / filming was advertised, and regardless of whatever promises were made to disguise / delete our presence. Way too much control surrendered for our liking.

Photographs are often the carrots used to entice people to respond to adverts, and so there will always be a desire to employ them. There is also the frisson of exhibitionism that can come from allowing others to view explicit images of ourselves. At the end of the day, it’s important to balance the strength of those desires against the fear of the potential embarrassment or loss that might be suffered if such photographs come into the view of the wrong people. But the potential risks should always be considered first. If you have no compunction about being identified world-wide as a lifestyle participant, then what the hell? But if – like so many – your need / desire for discretion is vital, then proceed carefully. Once those images are out there, they’re out there.

There are ways of limiting - even eliminating – the potential for damage:

(1) Use G- (rather than R- or X-) rated photographs for sending out to potential contacts.

(2) Never use a facial or otherwise readily identifiable photograph on a site to which the public has access, whether it be on payment or otherwise.

(3) Use photo-manipulation software (Paint Shop Pro, Photoshop etc.) to manipulate your images so as to make them less identifiable. It’s amazing how easy it is to blur, or even remove, a background, or to hide scars / birthmarks, or to crop images. Simply changing a photograph from colour into black and white or sepia can prove an effective camouflage.

(4) Watermark your images. That will prevent people from using your images as part of their own adverts. And if you give your images a watermark unique to the particular couple you’re responding to, it will be easy to trace who the originator(s) of any abuse are.

(5) If you and another couple want to take photographs of a meeting (and you both have cameras), temporarily swap cameras. That way, you only take the photographs you're happy for the other couple to have.

[vevaycple]

Shared pictures, whether X rated or G rated should not be shown off to all your friends. Just like the other thread on here discussing sharing names etc., pictures should not be shown around unless the original sender yes "sure go ahead and show the world". Its a small world out there.

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by OhioCouple

Not too awfully long ago, we had a request from someone that we thoroughly trust, ask if we would share a pic of someone that they knew, we knew of them. I sort of deflected from it at the time and then in turn, emailed the person in question and gave them the choice of whether or not they wanted to share a picture with the ones that asked. Not only did I not want to be in the middle of it, but I didn't feel it was my place to share any one else's pictures that were sent privately to me.

Safe choice and decision for all involved, in my opinion. You can never really know how others might feel about having their picture tossed from one to another - G or X rated. You may not know how one person feels about another?

In the context of the swinging environment, I may have decided that I *trust* you with my pictures or personal information. Because you have decided you *trust* someone else does not mean that I do. Those are decisions that I should be allowed to make based upon my own feelings about that person.

I believe you could be setting yourself up for some very hard feelings and rough times by indiscriminately sharing any type of info - pictures and/or sexual info - with absolutely anyone. Personally, it would cause me to re-evaluate the level of trust I had placed in the person I originally sent the picture to. (Is this making sense?)

Now...let me counter that question, Ms. O (and others)...several of us have met since the Meet & Greets started. Originally, I met with the Alura's for dinner here in Dallas. I mention that because it was "public knowledge" so to speak, as it was posted on this Board. A friendship was formed based upon many things including, but certainly not limited to, interest in the lifestyle. Later, several of ya'll met for dinner at the Meet & Greet up North, including the Alura's who were vacationing in that part of the country. Additionally, some of us have formed "close" e-mail friendships. Some of us may meet someday, others of us know it is unlikely we will ever meet. Nonetheless, we feel as if we have formed friendships.

Given that information, how do you feel about the exchange or discussion of information between those that "know" each other? And I'm not talking about "swinging" information? I'm referring to what I call general life info....Example: Hey, Mr. Alura, have you heard from Ms. O yet? She was on vacation and I thought she would be back on Tuesday, but haven't seen or heard from her? Have you?

Or.....Mr. Alura might send you a note mentioning....."EBF mentioned the other day that her dog was having surgery. You know how she is about those dogs! You might want to send her a get-well card for her dog."

To me, all of that stuff is friendly banter among friends and I have no objections at all because I feel that it is among friends. It is no different than a group of co-workers going to lunch together and chatting about mutual friends.

Do you have a different opinion? - EBF
(Disclaimer: early Saturday AM, long day yesterday, and only one cup of coffee.)

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Elusive BiFem
Given that information, how do you feel about the exchange or discussion of information between those that "know" each other? And I'm not talking about "swinging" information? I'm referring to what I call general life info....Example: Hey, Mr. Alura, have you heard from Ms. O yet? She was on vacation and I thought she would be back on Tuesday, but haven't seen or heard from her? Have you?

Or.....Mr. Alura might send you a note mentioning....."EBF mentioned the other day that her dog was having surgery. You know how she is about those dogs! You might want to send her a get-well card for her dog."

To me, all of that stuff is friendly banter among friends and I have no objections at all because I feel that it is among friends. It is no different than a group of co-workers going to lunch together and chatting about mutual friends.

Do you have a different opinion? - EBF

I fully agree with how you view it EBF. Once you have formed those sort of friendships (even if it is on-line) those sort of questions are bound to crop up in the circle of friendships. That is just what is known as being a concerned and caring friend. If a period of time were to elapse that I didn't see someone (depends on how active they are) I would email them and if I had no response back, I'd be emailing someone that I knew they might be acquainted with or closer to, than I, to ask "Hey have you heard from so and so? I'm concerned about them." I would hope that if one had, they would respond to me and let me know.

I don't find those sorts of things indiscretionate (is that a word) at all. There are many people on this board that I chat with on a regular basis and there are many of those folks who chat with the same ones that I do. As long as it is not revealing something that has been asked to be kept private, (or that your common sense tells you that it should) then I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. On the same hand though, if I were to question the absense of someone to another party, I wouldn't expect them to reveal a shared confidence, but something at least along the lines of "Yeah, he/she is going through a tough time right now, but he/she is okay." That would be good enough for me.

Some people form closer bonds than others and some shared thoughts aren't meant for everyone to know, even if you all know each other.

Geesh...EBF, do you live in my mind or what? I posted about this, just this morning, in my journal!