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  1. #16
    Swingers Board Addict Hotwallabies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicup View Post
    Once while hiking, my wife and I explored a small cave. We were new to the area, and were rather shocked to find a rattlesnake inside. It rattled a lot, and really scared my wife who isn't the outdoorswoman or should I say outdoorsmen I am. I grabbed her arm tightly to keep her from panicking, and slowly backed away, holding my walking stick in front of me as we did. We got out unharmed and vowed never to go into that cave again. She was still shaking a bit so we sat down on the trail about 100 yards from the cave. Another couple of hikers came down the trail and seemed to be heading to the cave. I just smiled and let them go, I didn't want to color their experience with our bad one. We left after they went in so I do hope it was better for them than it was for us.
    Excellent point and very well crafted I might add.

    But was there a point to your story?
    This is going to be like 60 Minutes, but just with more sex. Ali G

  2. #17
    Swingers Board Addict fun4Ds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicup View Post
    I just smiled and let them go, I didn't want to color their experience with our bad one. We left after they went in so I do hope it was better for them than it was for us




    Mental note to self: Man, woman, stick, cave,deviate smile...... DO NOT ENTER !!

  3. #18
    Doing it our way... rpu3's Avatar
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    I didn't want to color their experience with our bad one. We left after they went in so I do hope it was better for them than it was for us.
    It is a good point. But back to the rattlesnakes (and possibly back to the thread), what if one of those hikers had been bitten because they didn't know about the snake. What if a simple heads up (as opposed to a more animated "don't go in there! Snakes!) could have prevented that?

    I guess, having done So. Cal mountains and the deserts, we hikers/campers/shooters just freely shared information regarding rattlers as to keep people alert and avoid a strike. Perhaps there are such creatures who could be so potentially dangerous or toxic that a warning should be provided as a matter of common sense, courtesy or for the public's safety?
    I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available. A. Brilliant

  4. #19
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    Well, one difference is that anyones interaction with a rattle snake is going to turn out the same (unless you're Steve Irwin). Peoples interaction with a couple we had a bad experience with might be vastly different than our own personal experience. I'd hesitate to warn anyone, might respond with a polite warning if asked specifically. People we were close with we'd share our experience unprompted, but just as an FYI.

    We'll listen to the gossip generally and will consider the source. If its someone we respect the opinion of it will hold more weight than if it comes from someone we don't know.

  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hotwallabies View Post
    Excellent point and very well crafted I might add.

    But was there a point to your story?
    I too am intrigued about the reasoning in not warning the other couple.
    Stupid old me. I would have been concerned for their safety.

  6. #21
    Way too opinionated The Fuse's Avatar
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    Am I missing something here? Was Chicup not being sarcastic? I thought his point was that to *not* warn someone about clear, impending danger was a *bad* thing. Obviously a rattlesnake encounter and a swinging encounter are very different, but I still think that was his point. I think the key is when, and for what reasons, we or others are "sharing information" that could affect another's reputation. Do we think they are potentially dangerous? Then yes, of course. Maybe the guy couldn't get it up? Leave that one alone. Maybe his wife was a dead fish or didn't want to do certain things? Leave it alone.

    As an unrelated anecdote, in life and in swinging, some of the worst gossips seem to be those who complain about gossip itself. I have witnessed recently someone complaining about it. But that same person, after I did nothing but get on a webcam to say hello in a G-rated, five minute encounter, implied to a trusted mutual friend that it was only a matter of time before he and his wife would be playing with me and Mr. Fuse. I was completely turned off by this behaviour and would now not go near them with a ten foot pole. Sometimes I wonder who else this person told that we were "in the bag", and what that did to our reputation.

    A former colleague used to say that women were such terrible gossips... but he suggested pretty plainly to me that two of our other colleagues were sleeping together, and also tried to get me to admit to a crush on a third. I was pretty uncomfortable at all of it. I won't say I never talk about other people, though most of the time I do try to take the high road except if I have information that could save people some real trouble. I am still trying to find my way. My current signature line definitely applies here.

    I'm reminded of the quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt (paraphrasing):

    People with small minds talk about other people.
    People with average minds talk about events.
    People with great minds talk about ideas.
    Last edited by The Fuse; 02-10-2009 at 08:48 AM.
    Through every dead and living thing, Time runs, like a fuse. -- Jackson Browne

  7. #22
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    Well, heck, Chicup forgot that I'm from Texas....there's rattlesnakes in all our caves....and remember they taste like fried chicken!!!!

    The funny thing about this couple: the guy was doing the gossipy compare notes, when I mentioned something positive to the woman about someone else, she made a snippy remark about not caring.

    We tend to make our own decisions as well. The only one I've ever avoided after a rep comment was for a warning about STDs.

    We did play with the "talking" couple. Ironically, she was very, very good, and he was hm, different, from anyone else I've ever experienced. It just makes me wonder what they'll be saying about us next weekend, but then it won't really matter!

  8. #23
    Here to Stay siren52's Avatar
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    I think there is a difference between gossip and warnings. And I certainly would listen to what a close friend has to say about another couple good or bad.
    J & D, swinging since 2006

  9. #24
    Swingers Board Addict Hotwallabies's Avatar
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    Accidentally hit enter when my 22 month old grabbed the laptop. Sorry.
    Last edited by Hotwallabies; 02-10-2009 at 11:47 AM.
    This is going to be like 60 Minutes, but just with more sex. Ali G

  10. #25
    Swingers Board Addict Hotwallabies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Fuse View Post
    Am I missing something here? Was Chicup not being sarcastic? I thought his point was that to *not* warn someone about clear, impending danger was a *bad* thing.
    He was definitely being sarcastic. He meant it to point out how absurd it would be to actually let such a thing take place whether it be with a rattlesnake in a cave or a rattlesnake in swinging. If someone is a problem you should let people know. If I heard my friends were going to a terrible restaurant that I had just been to would I not tell them that the restaurant was crap? I know we're not dealing with rattlesnakes or restaurants here but there is still much validity to Chicups excellent parable.

    By the way you made some excellent points as well Fuse. Why we're sharing the information is very important to consider. If Chicup and his wife had simply not liked the cave and then sat outside it warning people away that would have been a problem.
    Last edited by Hotwallabies; 02-10-2009 at 11:58 AM.
    This is going to be like 60 Minutes, but just with more sex. Ali G

  11. #26
    Doing it our way... rpu3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Fuse
    Am I missing something here? Was Chicup not being sarcastic? I thought his point was that to *not* warn someone about clear, impending danger was a *bad* thing. Obviously a rattlesnake encounter and a swinging encounter are very different, but I still think that was his point.
    Some of us early morning posters didn't quite see the sarcasm, myself included. What is plain to some was not as clear to others, obviously. I, upon several cups of coffee and a re-read, can see it a bit more now and I'm actually happy, because I spent a bit of my morning thinking, "what kind of asshole doesn't warn others about a rattlesnake while hiking?!?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Slevin
    Well, one difference is that anyones interaction with a rattle snake is going to turn out the same (unless you're Steve Irwin).
    Really? All who accidently come upon a rattlesnake will have the same outcome? I don't see the same outcome experienced by all, given the 7,000+ strikes reported a year* from snakes, versus those who encountered a snake and were not bitten (with the possible reaction being the difference), and then versus those who never stumbled upon one in the first place.

    Perhaps there is a more finite set of potential interactions, but not all interactions with snakes are the same any more than swinging interactions are the same. Regardless, as with the snake information, the failure to pass along relevant information in swinging could do nothing or cause illness or death, and all the options in between. Which, upon a re-read and coffee, and some helpful "sarcasm" interpreters, was likely his point in the first place.


    *Depending on whose stats you'd like to use (state reports, the FDA, health care self-reporting, etc.)
    Last edited by rpu3; 02-10-2009 at 03:54 PM.
    I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available. A. Brilliant

  12. #27
    Your Tent or Ours?
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    We consider the source and the info being passed along. If someone is a drunk, hardcore druggie, or has an STD, I think you'd want to know about it before you got into a situation with them. I also think that if I know something like that and I don't tell you about it, I'm culpable.

    As has been said before, fair warning is one thing - gossip is quite another. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between the two, but you usually know the difference.

    As far as what people are saying about us is concerned, who cares? People who know us know us, and that's good enough for us. We figure that people who don't want to get to know us based entirely on something somebody told them about us are probably people we don't want to get to know in the first place. I know that sounded rather egotistical, but it's reality. If you're the kind of person who believes every little tidbit of hot gossip you hear, and engages in such things, well, have fun with it. We're too busy having fun to bother with such drivel.

  13. #28
    Way too opinionated The Fuse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rpu3 View Post
    upon a re-read and coffee, and some helpful "sarcasm" interpreters,
    Sarcasm is in my genes. I can't help it.
    Through every dead and living thing, Time runs, like a fuse. -- Jackson Browne

  14. #29
    Swingers Board Addict
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    We've had couples we know give us positive information on other couples, couples that we are either interested in or actively hanging out with. Being a bit new to going back to people's houses it's a nice warm fuzzy. We've not gotten too much negative information.

  15. #30
    South of disorder WesternSwing's Avatar
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    We say nothing but nice, albeit if we did hit it off it will be "nicer" than if we didn't, but as I said in another thread, just because we didn't hit it off with them doesn't mean someone else won't. And if they do we'll be the ones with egg on our face for saying negative things about them. It's better to avoid those situations and be the couple everyone loves. Basic Dale Carnegie isn't it? "Don't criticize, condemn or complain."

    Mr. WS
    "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud

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