Being Outed

[rtb111]

It has come to our attention in our little community that it seems we may have been found out on the Swing Lifestyle website. We have been discussing a response to this. We have been in active publicly and have just been private with one couple over the past 9 months. We kind of forgot about the website. Any advice for a reponses to being swingers? I have a lucrative business in a little town, and do not want to admit that we are swingers. We have been discussing just wanted to know if anyone else has come up against this.

[SAMnTINA]

We came out so to speak 5 years ago (If you count Oprah as comming out). The big shock to us was how few people asked about it or made a big deal. We have a high profile accounting, tax and investment firm and we did not loose any clients. We did have a couple that asked but all they wanted to know is "What is Oprah like". For any one that said anything we just said "and". Big new was even the minister clients came back. We may be lucky as we live in a major metro area but we found that if we don't make a big deal no on else does.

Good luck hope you have as little problems as we have

[rtb111]

I did see you episode. At the time, we were already swinging. I am not to concerned just thinking of how to reply to not make it a big deal. Thanks for the imput.

[JustAskJulie]

If they found you, they were looking. So whoever "outs" you in effect "outs" themselves. If you don't want to admit to it, I would turn the tables and just respond with a "well what were THEY doing on a site like that?". Doing that you are neither admitting or denying anything just turning the subject.

I read something about interviews. If you don't like the question. Instead of answering their question, answer the question they SHOULD have asked.

[TnHappyCpl]

I assume you have deleted your profile.. so .. if someone asks, just look at them and say WHAT.

[rtb111]

Yes, we deleted it. He has been defunct since last October. We have been thinking about going with the turning the question around. "That sounds interesting, who was on that website?". I am slightly concerned about it getting to my clients, but not really. We have made our way in this world and have done really well for ourselves. We also do not forget where we came from or who we went to high school with. The people that are discussing this are not our clients, and will never be our clients, but are still acquaintances we see once in a while. I hope that does not sound too....I don't know uppity!!

[havefuninsun]

Did you have faces to the profile? Again, as someone else pointed out, they found the Swing Lifestyle website and you have to create an account to perv the profiles (I think).

All the above advice is good; don't make a big deal out of it. You'll feel uncomfortable for a while, I'm sure, but they'll get over it.

[two42lovers]

So whoever "outs" you in effect "outs" themselves.

Not sure that is always the case. Seems like that sort of creep could easily come up with a reason - and it very well could be completely true. "Someone told me they were deviants, and I just HAD to check... you won't believe it, but there are these free-sex websites, and sure enough, they were there! Here's a copy of their page... I couldn't believe it."

We live in a town with 2000 households, the entire county only has 250,000 residents. We've thought about the downside to being outted, but decided we'd rather be low key and unashamed. We'd rather people didn't find out, but if they do, we'll let the chips fall where they may.

[tribbles]

"I wonder if the people pretending to be us were hot?"

[ncmd_couple]

I actually had this happen to us. I was sent an e-mail from someone in the organization that said, “I thought you should know….” Ooops

I got the persons’ e-mail from the forwarded e-mail and said to them, well, I don’t have access to that site so I can’t see what you are looking at. When they came back at me with links to another site, I said, “nice pics, too bad they aren’t mine. Lucky bastard.” Oh, and by the way, my username is pretty common and I can’t use it at a lot of places. Would you care to tell me who you you are and face me openly instead of hiding?

Zero, nilch, nara from them…. It went away…

[WeMayTryIt]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

If they found you, they were looking. So whoever "outs" you in effect "outs" themselves.

We knew some people who, before we were swingers told us on several occassions, "You know such and so? They're big-time swingers." Their excuse was that they worked with people who were swingers, and that's where they got the inside scoop. At the time, they were fairly convincing, and I don't think they've outed themselves by outing other people.

[Additude]

It's human nature to be curious and "swinging" is a much more accepted sexual activity in todays society than it was just a few years ago.

There's even a TV series "Swingtown" associating with it.

In Charlotte, NC one of the local TV news stations got wind of a social the Carolina Friends was having at a local hotel and did a story on it with video shot through a side door of the hotel from like 75 yards away with a telescopic lens (didn't show anything but a lady in a black dress holding a drink) and the news media made fun of the by-laws on the clubs website....well that next week....club membership increased by over 100 couples....great FREE advertising.

My point is "So What"? I don't think anyone but the Christian-Do-Gooders (No offence to religious people, just those that try to make others conform to their views) would have any "Real" problems with it.

I'd imagine other folks would have more curiosity than anything and even be a little envious also. It's human nature to feel interested in sexual relations with other people, it's only our social morals that prevent most of us from acting on that feeling.

Brush it off, let the dust settle....people are a lot more accepting these days.

You might even find a few new friends.

[rtb111]

Thank you to everyone for your advise. After having the sick feeling in my stomache go away, and sleeping on it. We have decided to do and say nothing unless confronted. I am sure it will not happen. Also, I am sure they are all jealous of us any ways. LOL! Have fun everyone! It is the weekend. We are on task for it!

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by Additude

In Charlotte, NC one of the local TV news stations got wind of a social the Carolina Friends was having at a local hotel and did a story on it with video shot through a side door of the hotel from like 75 yards away with a telescopic lens (didn't show anything but a lady in a black dress holding a drink) and the news media made fun of the by-laws on the clubs website....well that next week....club membership increased by over 100 couples....great FREE advertising.

I remember watching that story a few years back.
Fortunately Carolina Friends is kind of the 900 lb. Gorilla of swing clubs in the Southeast. They are so damn big and organized that a news story will only help them.

To the OP: Hopefully it will die down for you and blow over without any major issues. Best of luck to you.

[Additude]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

I remember watching that story a few years back.
Fortunately Carolina Friends is kind of the 900 lb. Gorilla of swing clubs in the Southeast. They are so damn big and organized that a news story will only help them.

To the OP: Hopefully it will die down for you and blow over without any major issues. Best of luck to you.

This most recent media coverage we are referencing a couple of years ago was the second time this same news station covered CF. The time before that preceded it by about 4 or 5 years. Same outcome really...increased membership....

But, in CF fashion, they now block all views into any hotel they occupy. They also have their own on-premise club and of course security guards posted that WILL challenge you if they suspect something out of order.

Sorry...hijack over...