How Discreet Are You

[JustAskJulie]

As someone mentioned in another topic it's very interesting to hear how our lifestyle integrates in with other "benign" aspects of our life... which leads to the question does your family know? Do you tell your friends that you swing? If your family does know, how did you tell them? or how did they find out? How did you broach this subject with your non-swinging friends?

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[Stratecpl]

Julie,

I think it would be the "Big One" if my parents ever had any idea that we were swingers!!! As staunch southern Baptist as they are, I would surely be relegated to the depths of Hell for it!! We keep it as our secret, and share it only with others who we KNOW are swingers.

We've never broken the news to anyone else that we do swing. I think that somewhere along the line we'll meet some who make it known that they are interested in trying the lifestyle.... and then we'll confess to them!!

It's not an easy thing to bring up, at least not for us. I'd love to hear the comments of all the others here, though. This could be very interesting!!

Ron, Husband of Stratecpl

*Typing what hubby is DICKtating...*

F**K NO!!! I wouldn't tell those freaks anything! (Meaning His family) *LOL*

Our doctor is one thing, he's DISCRETE! Our families are not.

As for our "non-swinging" friends, they are another part of our lives, separate from what we do in our personal life(style)...We don't discuss this with them.


CyberHusband & Wife

[Mike and Jan]

Cyber husband & wife, Don't trust old "Doc" too much either... Years ago Jan and I took in a foster child. Part of the ordeal to be qualified was a physical. We went to my old family doctor and completed the required examination. Later that week my mother called me at work and informed me that if we (Jan and I) were going to adopt, that we should have let her know so she could make sure that her will would exclude any non-biological children. Boy, were we disgusted with old "Doc"! And, BTW, we don't even let friends and relatives know that we write erotica either. They all know that I write (children's books)but "Mike & Jan" are a fun secret between the two of us!

------------------

Actually, Doc really doesn't know that much. I'm a rather private person anyway and don't readily give out information about our personal lives. He knows that we had sex with another couple, but that's about it.

If I had been in your position with your doctor, I think I would be seeing him in the alley or the courtroom. That's sad.

CyberHusband

And besides, we don't have any family in town anyway, or for sure, we would've not mentioned THAT to him either! Our families are all from out of state, and they don't even know what doctors we see.

And btw, Mike and Jan...Your mother can always change her "will" if she feels the need to, she just gotta dish out more bucks to do so. That is sad though...


CyberWife

[LIZA]

Well, we are a bit different. MY family knows............I am an only child, so just mom and stepdad.

Close friends , some of them know, some don't. NO big deal to me either way if they were to find out !

Doctor, it never occurred to me.............Because I am not engaging in intercourse or anal sex with a number of partners, I don't think he needs to know. I think for an average 32 year old woman I have not had all that many sex partners.

Work? I would be slightly embarassed if some co-workers knew BUT would haul their ass into court in a heartbeat if anyone dared try to fire or demote me over my personal life

Guess I am just not a shy person!

[This message has been edited by LIZA (edited 08-15-2001).]

[CanadianCouple]

My mother finding out we swing is right up there with castration.

Dan

[Flori_DAMAN]

way to go Liza..my sentiments exactly...who cares who knows...its just adult consensual sex....no big deal...now people that share child pornography, or engage in that type of shit should be hung out to dry, but if someone found out and said anything to me, I'd laff in there face....i told my sister about 8 years ago btw when we were both rather well lubricated so to speak, with beer. Her jaw bout hit the floor, wow....lmao...after settling in, it is a source of mild amusement for her..she is a real prude, she cannot even imagine having intimate relationships without marraige...but I use it to get her face to flush red now n then...im a big ole meanie huh...

[gigi]

I found this board just today. Hubby and I have discussed (at length) swinging and we will participate if we ever hook up with the right couple(s).

It's funny I ran into this topic while I was here though, so I felt it neccessary to register and post a reply. Considering the personalities of most of the posts I have read so far, I figured you all might find this humorous.

I had hinted around to an aunt about my sexual interests in the past. (She's in her 30's and I am 27) Her husband is a really cool guy, very funny, EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING, and is always looking at other women, making comments on how much "they want" him in front of my aunt. She would just giggle or agree with him on that other woman's good looks. I tell you this to give you an example of their behavior and why I "trusted" her with my bisexuality.

This past weekend I went to visit them at their vacation condo only a few hours south of me. The kids played and us adults gossiped. During the course of conversation, I playfully referred to her as being the prude out of her and her identical twin. An understandable assumption given the biases of smokers v. nonsmokers. Her twin smokes. She does not. Anyway, her and her hubby cracked up laughing, uncontrollably mind you, and for the life of me, I had no idea.

Later that evening after the kids were in bed, over margaritas, she told me what her and her husband have been doing for the past few years. They have been swinging and engaging in sexual practices that I have only had fantasies about. My mind was blown away! Of course, we made a promise to each other that we would never tell anyone else, except that I can tell my hubby. She has given me a lot of information and suggestions and I fully plan on acting on my fantasies one day.

I ended up here in doing research about couples in my area, considering I am in a VERY Southern Babtist town. I am glad I found something that didn't require a credit card number and $19.95. I hope to learn a lot and who knows, maybe we will even find some playmates!

I just thought I would share my story of what happened to me this weekend. I just hope I don't get blasted for posting it here since I don't even know if they post here. They are supposed to email me with some websites to check out when they get home. My point is, in my case, I now know it runs in the family. Some of you might have gotten the desires from traits too!

Safe and happy swinging!
Gigi

Way to go gigi, and welcome to the Message Board here!

We found this Message Board while doing our "research" about the lifestle over a year ago. And since then, we've been having a BLAST!

Thanks for sharing your awesome story with us! Keep plugging in here, make yourselves comfortable and enjoy the ride!

Good luck with your EROTIC adventures and do keep us posted!


CyberWife

[gigi]

Thank you for the welcome! Trust me, when our real adventures begin, I will be more than happy to share them! I love to write in my spare time...but you have to have something to write about first, right?! I don't like writing fiction...unless it is fiction I intend on turning into real life experiences.

See ya!
Gigi

Hi all... Medi here, the Male half of this pair. We just registered after being referred by a member from an Erotic Storey Site I submitted to. I stumbled across this topic while browsing the site and thought I would pass on our "Disclosure Experiences"

My brother knows about our swinging because of a sad event in his life. His long time fiance had just left him for another guy (we were kind of glad because quite honestly she was not a very nice person) but anyhow, in the course of a long evening of sobbing on my wife's shoulder he confessed that he and his fiance were thinking of swinging to save their relationship. Big mistake! Nothing happened with them, but my wife decided to confess to him that we had begun to swing and why. Not to save a great relationship, but to expand it. He was blown away and has asked a few times what it is like, but he is the only family member that knows.

A number of our non-swinging friends know because of another unfortunate situation. A single Male partner we had seduced decided to start running around and brag to some mutual friends. What a jerk! So we felt it would be better to tell some of them ourselves what we did and why. Nearly all of them were obviously titilated by our discussions and a couple of them are somewhat interested but pretty shy to try it.

All in all, most people seem preety relaxed by the whole thing, and I think a little jealous they are not doing it. Anyhow, that is our experience.

[Adventurous Lover]

I understand that swinging is a lifestyle and I have read here that some couples have been swinging for years. If that is the case, my question is who knows about your lifestyle? Do friends, family, children and co workers know that you swing? Or is the lifestyle kept private because of society's views on swinging?

This is a good topic. Hope it gets some answers. Hope the Spam in this category isn't keeping anyone away. (Julie, can you do anything about that? Thankfully, it does seem to be dying down a little.)

We are just at the curious stage right now but I imagine even if we graduated al the way to "hard-swing" we would remain in the closet. Not that we feel any guilt about what we are doing... we just know a lot of people who would not understand and some of them are in a position to be hurt or to hurt us.

That's why we have decided not to post any explicate pictures on line. We would much prefer you to see us in person!