Do you keep a list of who you've played with?

[JustAskJulie]

This quote is from the thread on "How many Partners have you had?"

Originally Posted by pairbond

Julie, we don't put notches on our bedposts or keep diaries either. What we DO, though, is keep an excel file of names & dates. Hopefully we won't ever need that, but if the Health Department ever notified us that someone we had been with had an STD and wanted us to get ourselves checked out and wanted to know who WE had been with, we think it is only responsible to keep records.

Rather than continue to take that thread in a direction away from its original intent, I thought this would make for an interesting discussion.

I, for one,
a) would not want to find out that I was on anyone's written record of who they have slept with. As a response in the other thread said, what if someone (who should not) were to come upon said list. What if you pissed off someone and they found your list only to opt to not only hurt you but everyone you've contacted?
b) I can say with fair certainanty that I could never make such an accurate list, for the simple reason of many of those that I have had sex with I don't know the last names of (let alone their addresses or other contact information). So should there be an issue where my past partners would need to be contacted, I (and moreso they I guess) would be in trouble.

I would like to ask what others think and feel about this. As an issue of responsibility, I do see Pairbond's point. But, at the same time, isn't that a risk that we all take, to one degree or another?

Do you keep any sort of a list of those you have had sexual contact with? If so, why (is it for responsibility reasons as Pairbond mentioned or for some other reason).

[JandT_Elkhart]

We started keeping "a list" but only of first names, and the file was named some obscure thing so nobody could ever know.

From there, from memory, we could find a username or email address.

I don't see a "list" anything different than not deleting email correspondance... probably less of a privacy thing, even.

[good times]

No, we don't keep a list. I guess I can kind of see their point but I have to say that it would kind of bother me to know I was on that kind of list. I have no problem with being in someones contact list or something of that nature, but being on a list of people that someone had sex with seems different to me in a kind of creepy way.

[Spoomonkey]

Dito

Definitely a creepy factor going on.

We have not kept a list - heck we don't know everyone's FIRST names for sure... I would feel very uncomfortable about being on some list.

Spoomonkey

[TNT]

The only list we keep are in our heads.

Should an occasion arise where I needed to contact someone I've had sex with, I could maybe, possibly, probably get in contact with most of them but definitely not all of them. Ummm, there are a few I just don't remember their names :rollseyes

As far as being on someone elses list....well I would hope that that would be something that was discussed prior to playing , as I would want to be given the choice of being put on any list.

Teresa

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by TNT

As far as being on someone elses list....well I would hope that that would be something that was discussed prior to playing , as I would want to be given the choice of being put on any list.

If it wasn't discussed before hand, I better have a gold star or two by my name

Spoomonkey

[Jamie&Kieth]

This is why we REALLY want to know who we are having sex with. Specifically must have similar interests besides group sex

[LikeMinds321]

The pairbond quote came after his previous post where he stated "After nearly 9 years of swinging, she now has had intercourse with 42 men and I have had intercourse with 34 women."

Rarely do people live in the same place for long these days. I doubt any such list would be useful for getting back in touch with those you may have passed along an STD to.

Lists, they are for people who like to smile and pat themselves on the back while keeping their bedposts flawless.

LM

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

We have not kept a list - heck we don't know everyone's FIRST names for sure... I would feel very uncomfortable about being on some list.

You know, come to think of it, we don't know the last names of our last three couples, be amusing if they also lied about their first names.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Chicup

You know, come to think of it, we don't know the last names of our last three couples, be amusing if they also lied about their first names.

Yeah - I'm pretty sure I told you my name was Shelby...



Spoomonkey

[savannah_bi_fem]

It never occurred to me that somebody might have our names documented on their sex list. I agree with those who felt a creepy vibe about that. Although it never occurred to me before to use fake names in the lifestyle, this might make me think.

I also would find it creepy, keeping a head count of lifestyle conquests or knowing my spouse was keeping a head count, for me. It would feel like he was "keeping score" or something. No offense to others, but not my style!

[good times]

Originally Posted by Chicup

You know, come to think of it, we don't know the last names of our last three couples, be amusing if they also lied about their first names.

Thats funny, now that you mention it for swinging we have some business cards made up that we give to playmates with contact information but no last name. The people we have become friends with in swinging know our last name but most don't.

[curiousagain]

Spoo beat me to it. I was gonna say, I don't mind being on the list if they're hot and I've got 4 stars by my name.

Seriously, I don't think I would like that at all.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

I agree it is kind of creepy to think of being on someone's "list". Spoo and I often discuss how far we have come in the lifestyle (I think there is a thread on this) and use playmates as points of reference so to speak. But keep a list It's all in our heads and sometimes even between the two of us we can't remember. Ah, the mind is the first to go

Except for a few people, we only know first names and then those may not be their real names. No I'm afraid if the board of health wanted to track anyone through us they'd be out of luck.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[TNT]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

If it wasn't discussed before hand, I better have a gold star or two by my name

Spoomonkey

Monkeys don't get gold stars...they get bananas.


Teresa