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| Dealing With/ Fear of Rejection Many swingers have a fear of rejection |
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| Active Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 17 Location: Indiana Status: M. Female/Couple
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My husband and I talked about swinging for the first time tonight, and I think he's interested! Obviously, we have a lot to talk about before we'd be ready for our first experience...but it's exciting to think what interesting encounters the future may hold for us. We have several clubs in the area and I think we'd like to try one out. I have never really done the bar scene before and don't know how well big girls are received. I've attached a G-rated pic...I'm not trying to solicit hookups / criticism / compliments...I just don't want to be too disappointed if I couldn't hookup. I guess I just want to have realistic expectations going into this. Meggybear |
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| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,058 Location: Florida Status: Single Female Swing Lifestyle Name:tiavampire
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Big women need love too. It really does'nt matter what you look like on the outside, it's what your like on the inside. I've met alot of skinny ugly girls. By that I mean, they're very pretty on the outside, but when they are ready to show their asses, they can be the ugliest people you have ever met.Also I hear that alot of men these days are into big women. Skin and bone are a thing of the past. |
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| | #4 (permalink) |
| Canadian, eh? Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,633 Location: Kingston, ON Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:intuition897
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The first thing I noticed? A great, confident smile, well-dressed, pretty hair, pretty face, and takes pride in her appearance. She also appears friendly and outgoing. Oh, and she's got a little extra junk in the trunk. I've heard it said a few times on here that it was observed that the "Barbies" ended up being the wallflowers and it was the heavier girls who exuded so much more confidence that people were flocking to. It's all about the attitude. Now, will you be rejected? Of course you will. It doesn't matter what you look like, there will always be someone whose type you're NOT. But as long as you have a healthy love of yourself, and you take pride in your appearance and your sexuality, you are definitely someone's type. Being rejected isn't fun, but you just have to learn to shrug and smile and wish them a good evening...and learn to not take it personally. You'll have your preferences, too, and the people that you turn down (and if you are confident and outgoing, people WILL be drawn to you) will have learn to deal with YOUR rejection, too. |
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__________________ Fear is a symptom of ignorance. Knowledge is the cure. | |
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| | #5 (permalink) |
| Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,476 Location: Behind door #2 Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mrmrsfun
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meggybear, welcome to the thoughts of the swinging lifestyle. I just have to say that from your looks, you are definitely charming . You say that your worried about rejection... well we have been rejected, maybe not very much, but it is part of swinging. Whats amazing to us is who we do connect with People just like you, who look at things realistically. That just tipped the scales way in your favor, as far as I'm concerned . For us we don't worry so much about rejection, as we do about connection.As swingers, we are a couple first. Its about each others happiness. The best part about that is, we never reject each other. |
| Last edited by fun4Ds; 11-23-2008 at 09:06 PM. | |
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| | #6 (permalink) | |
| Jay's Bumper Buddy Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 2,299 Location: San Marcos, TEXAS Status: On the prowl for man meat Swing Lifestyle Name:lost_j1
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__________________ Merry Christmas and a Ho Ho Ho Shelly | ||
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| | #7 (permalink) |
| ~This space for rent~ Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 4,733 Location: across the tracks Status: Couple
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Is this a joke? You are GORGEOUS! You have a great smile, you give off an air of confidence, and your face just glows!! Like Intuition said, yes, you will be rejected, but then we all will for one reason or another. Someone might not like you because you don't make enough money, you might be rejected because you live on the wrong part of town. You might be rejected because your boobs are too small or too big. There are a plethora of reasons that people might reject you, but keep that confidence and both of you will be playing in no time!! |
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__________________ Dave & Holly | |
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| | #8 (permalink) |
| South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,973 Location: Utah Status: Single Male
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Intuition is completely correct! You are just plain sexy! Confidence and being outgoing are probably the most important things when it comes to any social situation. Outgoing people are almost always more liked then the wallflowers. Mrs. WS is what I call a "plushie", a little extra "junk in the trunk", and she has never, ever, hurt for finding a playmate, and many that are married to "Barbies". It's all in the attitude. Mr. WS |
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__________________ "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud | |
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| | #9 (permalink) |
| ~This space for rent~ Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 4,733 Location: across the tracks Status: Couple
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<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Look at that butt! I forgot to add that I'm not exactly svelte either. I've got more than a little extra padding. |
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__________________ Dave & Holly | |
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| | #10 (permalink) |
| Only slightly cracked... Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 7,071 Location: Seattle Status: Married Couple
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Hiya Meggybear! Yeah, what everybody else said. You look like a fun person and that's what counts.Welcome -B |
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__________________ "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain All about us... | |
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| | #11 (permalink) |
| Where's the party! Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 198 Location: Huntsville, AL Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:nice_cpl_n_bama
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Hi Meggybear, You look to be roughly the same size and body type as my wife. We have only spent one evening with members of our local swing club but we were thrilled that everyone was so nice. It was the best night on the town we have had for many years. From my admittedly limited experience I'd say just be confident and friendly and you'll do fine. Have fun! Jeff |
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| | #12 (permalink) | |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 1,845 Location: Georgia Status: single female
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| | #13 (permalink) |
| Active Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 17 Location: Indiana Status: M. Female/Couple
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Thanks for the responses. I know hubby loves me--but I am so nervous to entering something that is nearly equivalent to the dating scene. It's a bit intimidating for someone who hasn't been on the market (so to speak) for 8 1/2 years! Anyway, I think I'm brave enough to try to get us into a local on-site club this weekend. Should be interesting! Does everyone tend to take it slow, or do some of you just jump right in? Meggybear |
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| | #14 (permalink) |
| South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,973 Location: Utah Status: Single Male
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We jumped right in, but that's kinda' how Mrs. WS does everything so why not this too! We had a few minor issues here and there after the first couple times, but nothing that was a "show stopper". For us it was the right way to do it. For others it might be better to wade in and see how deep the water is first.Mr. WS |
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__________________ "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud | |
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| | #15 (permalink) |
| Here to Stay Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 51 Location: UK Status: couple
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Meggybear You look amazing! The things that attract me the most are a lovely smile (like yours!) and a happy confident, bubbly personality. Which just looking, you appear to have. It's not all about body shape, my wife feels intimidated sometimes when she sees the model body walk by on our trips to 'on site' clubs. But a smile and a pretty face are far more important! If you're ever in the UK and want to visit a swingers club I'd be happy to accompany you facelick Gaz |
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