New scars and swinging

[Tybee Swing]

Hey everybody, we're pretty new here, a happily-married couple who've been in the Lifestyle for about a year.

About 2.5 years ago, we began getting very healthy with diet & exercise and over time, lost a lot of weight. We're still in a very healthy & fit lifestyle and will continue to be. After losing the weight, we both had sagging skin to deal with, and dealt with it the only way you can - we had cosmetic surgery. I had a body lift & breast lift, he had a body lift. We both have around-the-world lowrise scars. Beautiful bodies, but scars. They're not gross scars, they're fine lines (we had a great surgeon) but still certainly noticeable if we're naked. I imagine most people have not seen an around-the-world scar and might be shocked if they didn't see it coming.

I had my surgery last December 4.5 months ago, he had his 2 months later in February. Big recoveries; this has been our main focus for a few months. We're now back in the gym and got our stamina back, healed and ready for fun.

ONE couple we play with knows about this. They're our only regulars, and they are also friends whom we're comfortable with. We've been out with them a few times since the surgery, but not ready for play until recently. It's just a matter of schedule before we play with them. They know ALL about our surgery and are excited for us. We know that they won't be freaked out at all by our scars.

Finally, to our question. How do we share all this info with new couples we're meeting, without giving too much info? We don't want to shock anybody by not saying a word and just getting naked with them. The last thing either of us want is deer-in-the-headlights looks, or freaking people out. We certainly plan to inform them before we get naked.

If you had scars like this, how would you go about handling this with your Lifestyle contacts and with making new friends?

[EvilMJ]

I think you are making too much out of this. In my experience as a stretch marked mommy, with a husband who has some interesting scars on his body due to a nasty car accident in his younger year, most people really don't care.

We all have our flaws and imperfections, if it is a concern to you just be straight forward and tell them that you do have some scars, offer to show them (if you can without getting indecent ) and let them decide. I would bet money that most people which just shrug it off.

In the heat of the moment the scars probably won't be noticed. I don't think I have ever said ..."before we get started I think you should know that I have a huge birthmark on my leg and remenants of child birth marking my stomach that only a cartographer might understand."

So just be upfront and let your nice new bodies and wonderful personalities be your selling point!

[Tybee Swing]

We'd have to get pretty nearly indecent to show the scars -- but that could be fun!

So, just give some forewarning, see if they're cool with it, and then not worry. Sounds like a good plan to me!

I think that once we break the ice with "strangers" seeing our new scars and we come out unscathed, we'll get over it.

[sexyshelby]

Dito
A lot of us have scars from one thing or another. Some are more noticable than others, but I doubt that anyone would not play with you bacasue of it. If it makes you feel better, just let them know before you get naked that you have some scars.

~SS

[TLO7777]

Anybody that has gotten naked with more than a handful of people has seen their share of scars.

Unless someone states on their profile "no physical imperfections acceptable" I wouldn't worry about it.

I think scars are fun to kiss and lick personally. Kind of like an erotic road-map.

For online connections you could always put a small note on your profile that mentions the scars. This way you can be sure that anyone that shows an interest won't be bothered in the least.

Dante
--
of YoungMauiCouple at Swing Lifestyle

[EvilMJ]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

We'd have to get pretty nearly indecent to show the scars -- but that could be fun!

So, just give some forewarning, see if they're cool with it, and then not worry. Sounds like a good plan to me!

I think that once we break the ice with "strangers" seeing our new scars and we come out unscathed, we'll get over it.

Exactly. That's that attitude you gotta take. Don't let your scars stand in the way of the fun. They are only a small part of the total package

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by sexyshelby

Dito
If it makes you feel better, just let them know before you get naked that you have some scars.

~SS

We appreciate all the kind words! If they were just ordinary scars, I wouldn't give it a second thought. But these are SCARS. Each of us has a full 360 degree circumferential scar on our low abdomen (below bikini line, around the sides, and all the way around the tops of our butt cheeks. I have the breast lift scars, too.

I don't believe many people have ever even seen this type of scar before. That's why I'm taking this kind of seriously.

I don't know if we're allowed to show pics like that, but would it help if you saw them??

[TLO7777]

As overwhelming as the scar may seem to you now it is no worse than those carried by many others that have been swinging happily for years.

Before your surgery, would you have turned down a wonderful connection just because they had a very large scar from open heart surgery?

Why would you even want to swing with people that are so entirely superficial as to care?

Here's a bit more reading to ease your mind...
Swinging with a large body scar

I'm sure that if you disclose your insecurity up front the sexy fun to follow will help you realize that your fears are only skin deep.

Dante
--
of YoungMauiCouple at Swing Lifestyle

[hfire269]

I love to explore the bodies of our new playmates and this may include tracing over and scars I may find. We all have scars. I have so many I lost count yrs ago. And since I heal slowly even a yr after words my scars still look fresh. I have a scar thats about 7inches long and about a 1/2 inch wide on my side from having my appendix removed Not one of our playmates ever said a word about it and most claim they never notice it.. LOL So I wouldnt worry about it. If some one does as tell them a short sweet and to the point answer such as We had some recontrustive surgery due to wieght loss. Most would be glad for your new health
Mrs. Hfire269

[Additude]

You see them more than anyone because you know they are there, both physically and mentally.

I seriously doubt you will get "Deer in the Headlights" or "Freaked Out" people.

A lot of us have imperfections with our bodies that we are not interested in having someone else see.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by TLO7777

Why would you even want to swing with people that are so entirely superficial as to care?

We don't want to swing with superficial people -- but that's the thing with swinging, you often don't know the true character of people before you get naked with them.

Dante, thanks for the link to the other scar thread, the answers there were helpful, too!

You all have given us some very thoughtful and wonderful answers here. We really appreciate them all! We'll go with telling them kind of lightly that we had bodylifts after losing weight, and have scars. If we're breaking the ice about the scars, they won't have to feel uncomfortable when they see them later on.

We love the results of our surgeries, and for us, they're cause for celebration. I've been loving wearing sexy clothes that show off my perky boobs, flat belly and lifted butt. I can see the defined ab muscles now that I've worked so hard for. (The excess skin was hiding them.) For us, the scars were an easy trade to make.

Thanks for your help!

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Finally, to our question. How do we share all this info with new couples we're meeting, without giving too much info?

The way you just did, with us. Give the subject all of 30 seconds in the course of your normal conversation. If they have questions, you can explain further. I doubt they will...chances are, they've got some scars, too.

We don't want to shock anybody by not saying a word and just getting naked with them.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. The kinds of scars you're talking about are a lot more common (at least in the vanilla world) than you might think. In fact, I would say that about a third of all the women I've met in the last couple years have either had some procedure (Boobs, bariatric, lift/tuck) done, or could benefit from having one done, but haven't.

What says more about your personality? Having a few scars that are artifacts of a vigorous exercise and self-improvement program, or some man or woman who's all tatted-up, or has piercings all over the place?

You guys worked HARD for your new bodies! Don't let your fear of how somebody else might react to them prohibit you from enjoying them.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by JnCC

You guys worked HARD for your new bodies! Don't let your fear of how somebody else might react to them prohibit you from enjoying them.

Dito

Be proud of who you are and your hard work! Scars wouldn't be a turn-off for most people.

[stu]

I have a long scar on my stomach, that bothers me. I got it from an operation after a gun shot injury. Thanks to you all, maybe I'll be more comfortable after reading all these mails. Thanks, yes I do believe this forum is great, it sure is informative.

[DGrey]

I have several relatively new scars from having my gallbladder out and no one has ever said anything at all. Nor has anyone said anything about the stretch marks acquired when I had a baby. I'm proud of them, they illustrate the story of my life and I'm happy to tell people about them should they ask.

E