When do Swingers Find the Time?

[JustAskJulie]

This is more a blog post/ reply to the idea that her name got attached to another article re: swinging on Huff Post. It's humorous, but worth a share.

Laura Rowley: Swingers: When Do People In Open Marriages Find The Time To Do It?

[km34]

Entertaining article! I love that she never condemns swinging, she just says it's logistically not for her (well, and that she's never felt that desire...). Overall, I think her attitude was great.

[StewartP]

We have some vanilla friends who know we are swingers and they think we are at it all the time.
We feel too guilty to swing too often because it takes time (and money, which is scarce) away from our 2 young children.
So we probably hook up once a month/every 6 weeks max.

[DigginIt]

Some of the comments were just mean. Remind me not to post there.

[shrevecouple]

She does have a point. Like her I can admire other women that can do it without worry but it's something about making sleeping with others a priority that gets to me and you really do have to make it a priority because as mentioned previously it takes alot of your time finding others you want to play with, not to mention the money for the "dates" and babysitters and so on. BUT that also plays in to what I have noticed about swingers locally. They either don't have children or the children they do have are by someone else other than their current partner and they only have them part time which automatically frees up that much sought after time that is needed. My husband and I do good to have alone time without children every other month. So when one of only two people that will babysit for us finally feels sorry for us and gives us a weekend, we are just relieved to be able to have sex with the door open and not have the invisible mute button pressed as to not wake the kids. Maybe this is also why alot of swingers are 40+.

[celtic239]

When we go to a Lifestyle event, my wife is fond of saying "Why didn't we do this when we were younger". I guess that's because our main priority was raising our kids. Now that they are all grown up and mostly moved out we now have time to indulge in adult fun. We too admire those swingers that are younger with families that are able to balance the difficulties of family life and the Lifestyle. I know that we wouldn't have been able to do it.

[two4youinswva]

About five years ago I fell in love with the game of golf. I played at least once a week, and while I sucked at it, I enjoyed learning, improving, hanging out with friends, and spending time on the courses. When you play as poorly as I do, a round can take more than a couple hours.

After about three years, my infatuation started to wane, and when invited to play, I found lots of excuses. The main one being I "just didn't have the time". Nothing had been added to my life in that three years that would have reduced the time, but suddenly it seemed I just couldn't work in a round of golf into my schedule.

Swinging is like any other hobby or avocation: If you really want to do it, you'll find the time. If you aren't as excited about it, you won't have the time.

[JustAskJulie]

It's funny how we make time for the things we enjoy. We've always looked at swinging as just another past-time. It's something we do for entertainment. If we were going to a movie, we'd have to get online and find out what's playing. If we want to go to a swing club we get online and find a party (granted most of the time we don't need to get online to find one because we already know where they are and when they are).

We don't have kids so we don't have that issue to deal with, but I've encountered couples who I thought put too much priority on swinging and not enough on their family. As with any past-time you've got to have priorities. Hubby plays pool, but if he was gone every night doing it, I'd get really annoyed. Plus it would get expensive. I have hobbies that I could do every night but same thing, it would take away from our time and it would cost a lot. I don't know if any hobbies that don't cost something in time and money.

[Chicup]

Lately we have been VERY busy and are usually months between any attempt at playing.

That's still 70% due to babysitting.

[shrevecouple]

Originally Posted by Chicup

That's still 70% due to babysitting.

That's probably a good estimate for us as well. I don't mean for swinging, I mean in general to do anything.

[angelkin]

Empty nesters here, so lots of free time

[PB&J]

The thing that got me was that she didn't even understand open marriage or swinging- seemed to think that it would be in the course of a fight with spouse that one would think about it- as an alternative to wishing him dead. I made a few comments on it, but of course those who don't want to understand won't.

[sandy_paws]

I'm glad that there are others here who don't have kids... We are new to this lifestyle, and don't have kids (so plenty of time, babysitters not needed)

but with all the discussions Mr. and I have been having.. I don't want it to "take over" our lives.

I'm happy to see that those with kids, and those without - have been able to find a balance and play when you want, when you choose..

[ALilOEverything]

We watch ZERO TV. Eliminating all the popular shows from our life gives us a ton of time to do other things we enjoy.

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

It's funny how we make time for the things we enjoy. We've always looked at swinging as just another past-time. It's something we do for entertainment.

This is a great way to look at it as we agree. We have other hobbies that take up our time as well, not just swinging. We do it for the occasional fun time with others who are like minded.

Originally Posted by angelkin

Empty nesters here, so lots of free time

Yep, us too! We LOVE being empty nesters! We absolutely love spending time with each other.

Originally Posted by sandy_paws

I'm glad that there are others here who don't have kids... We are new to this lifestyle, and don't have kids (so plenty of time, babysitters not needed)

but with all the discussions Mr. and I have been having.. I don't want it to "take over" our lives.

I'm happy to see that those with kids, and those without - have been able to find a balance and play when you want, when you choose..

And in my humble opinion, I'm glad you don't let it take over your lives. Some couples get so caught up in it, that it literally takes over every thought, every minute of their lives. Then it spirals, and it's no longer fun, but a chore to find the time and the money to play.

We like to play like every other couple, but like Julie says, it takes time and money to have fun with your hobbies. We're finding that we don't have that much time, (especially lately) and we don't want to spend the money. It's all good. We've found a great balance and that's what counts.