Comparing and contrasting the swinging and BDSM scenes

[two4youinswva]

Control Tower -The Stranger

The writer is new to the swing scene, and compares it to the BDSM scene she is more familiar with (I assume she is, since her name is Mistress Matisse).

Contrary to my expectations, I didn't find the overall feel of the swing party markedly different from a BDSM party—at least, not in the social area. But when I walked through the designated sex area, I noticed one big difference: The swingers would often look up and make prolonged eye contact with me as I watched them fuck.

A good article that is about two pages too short! I would have loved to hear more observations, similarities and differences between the two lifestyles.


EDIT: I found the rest of her posts, and she is in the BDSM scene. Her articles are pretty interesting, even if, like me, that isn't your scene. Here's a link

[SW_PA_Couple]

An interesting read and an interesting observation in as much as we know people (swingers) who are into BDSM and have been to one of their home-dungeon social gatherings. Neither JoAnn nor I participate actively -- we are (were) only observers. I did not stare. But this what not a result of any formal or casual understanding or rule. It was because much of it put me off. Exceptionally interesting but not very pretty to watch.

~Michael

[Beardedknight]

Yes, an interesting article but very short. As a Swinger that is also into BDSM I can fully agree with everything she says, almost.
I felt she implied that BDSM is not about sex and for many that is what they claim. But I think what they would be saying if they were honest is that it is just not about public sex. Where if you are at a place like "New Horizons" (yes, I have been there many times before moving to Arkansas) then the sex is very public and you can openly watch or be watched. Where BDSM is definately just a watching activity, if you are not doing it.
And if you are doing it then you get into a zone where you are only vaguely aware of those watching. As the Dom/Top you are concentrating on what you are doing to make sure you do not permanently hurt your sub/slave/bottom. And if you are the sub/slave/bottom then you get into what they call sub-space and are only aware of what is being done to you and the pleasure you are getting from it.
But, in my opinion, there are more people who would love to just jump the bones of the sub, etc. than there are those who say that BDSM has nothing to do with sex, they are just not willing to admit it or do it when others are around.
I think it is more that BDSMers do not have an exhibisionistic streek where most swingers do.
I will also say that it is easier to watch people having sex than watching people beating each other (there is a lot more to it than that.)

Tim the Beardedknight

[nostars]

I find that there is synergy with BDSM..my lady and I find it hard to meet couples who like spanking and restraints as part of sexual play...particularly role playing..I continue to be surprised at the distance between the two approaches to sexuality.