Friends being outed and in the National Papers (UK)

[Darkblue]

These are some friends of ours that have been outed by a socalled colleague they even made the national press they guy hold a high position within the Army but lucky for him they stand by their lifestyle and i hope that things will cool down soon for them..
I cant post everything i know as some things are still kept private.. have a look at the article
And people wonder why we keep things under wraps!

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...icle477673.ece

steve and susanne

[socolais]

I know swinging would be grounds for the suspension of a security clearance in the U. S. military. So while not exactly news-worthy, the evidence against him could easily cost him his job. The future of his career wouldn't look too bright either.

High profile people should swing low.....

[WesternSwing]

At least the "Army insider" stated "everyone is entitled to a private life", but his is right, a Major opens his or herself up to blackmail. We've known officers that swing, and they don't post pictures of themselves on their profile, and one couple even used fake names when they first met us.

It's funny though, how society in general will look the other way in cases of adultery but get all up in arms about consensual sharing. I'm sure the Army would take no disciplinary action against him if they were getting divorced because of cheating. They, like general society, would just say "well, that's life!" But when it's consensual it's "wrong", "immoral", "dirty", etc.

We have some friends that were outed a couple of years ago. He was then an E4 and is now an E6, so he's been promoted since they were outed. Other than some funny glances from superiors and some new "friends" in the neighbor at base housing that emerged from the woodwork, it didn't have any real effect on him or his career.

But, then again... this is a Major not a Sargent. It may be different.

[intuition897]

Anyone noticed that the threads and replies on this board tend to follow themes? Lately - and I mean in the past few days or so - the theme seems to be "Getting Outed". It's uncanny. Other times it's married cheaters, floods of newbies, or discussions about Unicorns. It's a new theme every week, and if I didn't know better, it almost seems coordinated (Julie? lol). Hell, I'm no exception. I had to post the mortifying account of my accidentally outing myself to my (former?) best friend. Who happens to be very very vanilla. I'm still sweating and dreading my next meeting or phone call with her.

EDIT>> Here is my comment to the Sun (which likely won't make it past the cut & paste crew):

I got yer comments right here. This paper and its ethics leave something to be desired. In one breath they bash this poor unfortunate couple for something that is NOT the business of its readers (NO, it's NOT!), and in the next breath they titilate their audience with every kind of smut tease they can get away with legally pasting across their front pages.

No bashing here, the editors say. Not overt, perhaps, but judgment is certainly implied...

"Major Andrew Reed, 51, and wife Sue posted pictures of themselves cavorting in their married quarters. "

You don't say. Cavorting? In the MARRIED quarters?? Heaven forfend. God save us from marital cavorting.

"The £60,000-a-year Major in the Royal Engineers..."

I don't kow why this was a relevant piece of information.

"...was shown lying naked and aroused in a garden. "

Aroused, eh? Well, he is a man. Most men have had an erection or two. Again, I don't know why this is any of the public's business...unless of course the paper is looking to increase its readership with the smut factor.

"Civilian Army worker Sue, 45, wore red stockings and red high heels on sites called WifeLovers and UK-Exhibitionists."

And again with the details. LOL. Honestly, who cares what she was wearing? Anyone who reads this and pretends to be outraged while savouring that little wiggle of titillation they glean from living vicariously through others should be ashamed of themselves.

"They called themselves Rob and Sue and used the log-on Sapper62. "

For a good time, call...

"Major Reed drove off at speed in his Renault when asked to comment at his base in Paderborn, Germany, where they work at Barker Barracks. "

So would I. I would rather have blood-sucking leeches stuck to my eyeballs than be interviewed for this paper or any of its competitors.

"A neighbour said: “My God! I know life can be quiet here but I’d never have guessed.” "

Just goes to show...you never really know, do you?

"The Reeds had not demanded money for sexual services. "

Was this actually assumed??

To sum it up, I'm just writing to give my opinion of this article being written in the first place. Perhaps it may help to have a camera crew invade the privacy of the bedrooms of those responsible for the publishing of this article - and subsequent pain it caused to those it was bent on slandering. Although many may not agree with what they do, they were neither harming nor bothering anyone, and I think it's a damned shame that they've now found themselves in the middle of a media feeding frenzy. Aye, there's blood in the water, and the scavengers have smelled it.

[AdamInEve]

Yes Intuition, in fact we may have started the "getting outed threads". And I agree with everything you have said.
As for the military, there has been some info on swinging and the military that I have read that may be of interest.
Here is the link:

http://www.sexuality.org/swinging.html

I understand the OP is not from the States and their military may differ slightly from the U.S. and you can only believe half of what you read on the INTERNET but here is an excerpt from the site.

"If You Have Privacy Concerns...
Being inadvertently ``outed'' (e.g. to family members or one's employer) is a concern for many. In my experience, swingers are very sensitive to this issue and expect each other to be discreet when discussing parties outside the club.

I was more than a little surprised by what the Adjudicative Desk Reference [5] (which the Department of Defense uses to help guide security clearance decisions) has to say about swinging:


Depending upon recency and frequency, participation in any form of group sex may contribute to a decision against security approval if it is part of a pattern of dissolute behavior (drinking, drugs, gambling), high risk behavior, or emotional immaturity. It may not be a significant security concern if pursued discretely, and if subject shows no other behavioral weaknesses and medical evaluation indicates no emotional instability.
Potential for influence or coercion may not be a significant security issue if the swinging is a consensual activity with one's spouse or primary partner, and if participants make no great investment in secrecy. Swinging in private with a few close friends is of less concern than attending a swinger's club or having a number of anonymous contacts. "


Socolais, I know this is in direct contrast to what you have posted and I don't know how true it may be. It is only what I have read online, but I thought it was interesting none the less.

The sad fact is many people seem to have a fascination with other peoples lives, maybe because theirs are so boring or its the titillation factor or they are just plain mean and want to leave a path of destruction in their wake. I really can't say, but I can say this, "It's too bad that people don't worry more about the things they do and how they affect others, then what others are doing that don't affect them."
Just my thoughts,
Adam

[socolais]

Originally Posted by AdamInEve

Socolais, I know this is in direct contrast to what you have posted and I don't know how true it may be. It is only what I have read online, but I thought it was interesting none the less.

Thank you for digging for that reference. I may have been a victim of misinformation or the rules may have changed - it has been a long time since I was involved with security clearances.

Either way, the Major probably has an up-hill battle. One "oh-shit" wipes out a lot of "atta boys"............

[Greg & Sheryl]

This is why we're glad we don't have high-profile jobs. We also have families who don't care what we do, so we can be out and proud!

[Darkblue]

they are not too bothered about being known as swingers they stand by what they do and he has already been disciplined and too be honest the Army havent done a lot to him (thankfully) and as for his career well he is out in a couple of years anyway so for them its no big deal.
If anyone had tried to blackmail them then they would of outed themselves straight away so that was not any kind of a problem they are Swingers and do not hide it they just dont tell the world about it.. but who does?? you maybe??

Even now they walk tall and show the good old british "stiff upper lip" of course veryone will be gossiping behind their backs but they knew that would happen.

They are good people who prefer like most of us do to keep their private lives, private(no pun intended)
I did post on the papers comments webpage but they have pulled it and i was very polite and still its not on there.???

Steve

[sweet_tna]

How awful for your friends, Darkblue. I'm glad the army didn't do much to him--the media attention was bad enough! Yes, everyone will be gossiping behind their backs, but probably out of jealousy!

[Pleaseinu2]

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

Yes, everyone will be gossiping behind their backs, but probably out of jealousy!

You got that right!! Most just don't know what they are missing but to each their own, Right!

[Vjklander]

Originally Posted by socolais

I know swinging would be grounds for the suspension of a security clearance in the U. S. military. So while not exactly news-worthy, the evidence against him could easily cost him his job. The future of his career wouldn't look too bright either.

High profile people should swing low.....

Swinging is NOT grounds for suspension of security clearances. Not telling your security officer is.

[celtic239]

I am ex-military, US. It is standard practice to either prosecute or force out officers engaged in adulterous affairs (this may include swinging even though it is, for want of a better explaination,"consensual adultery"). I'm not too sure if they bother going after junior enlisted unless they are in a highly classified position.
The English military may take a different view. I know that there are several European countries that allow openly practicing homosexuals to join their military (not sure about the UK). What I'm trying to figure out is (1) who "outted the British officer and (2) what could have been the motivation to out the officer and the wife?

[Darkblue]

We do now have homosexuals within the Army but they would still be frowned upon.
We dont know who outed Andy but it was definatley through being found on a website, in the Brit Army motovation isnt required its nearly always being spitefull or jealous,when i was in we were part of a series of cutback where units were being almalgamated and when this started a lot of the Soldiers started to tell tales one their mates,this wasnt just done by Junior ranks but it went all the way through to the Officer´s,so there doesnt have to be any real reason for it and Andy is out in a few years(less than 3) so there wasnt any real need for this and he isnt in a top secret job he´s just a normal Major within the Brit Army..

Steve
PS commiting adultery frowned upon but no one is ever prosecuted over this they do get quick postings(sometimes within 24 hours) it is a Courtmartial Offence and i have had a friend kill himself because of something this, the other guy never even got a repremand for his actions(they were senior ranks)