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  1. #1
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    Default Curious how others have addressed this

    After years of talking about engaging in the lifestyle and getting "close" to taking steps in the past, my wife and I have had a face-to-face, adult conversation about it. Turns out her primary and ultimate hesitation is that she thinks she'd like having sex with another guy while I watch too much. She thinks it would be so exciting that she'd be unable to have 'normal' sex, i.e. she and I along.

    Has anyone faced this before? Any thoughts, guidance in how to address it?

  2. #2
    Swingers Board Guide SW_PA_Couple's Avatar
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    Default Re: Curious how others have addressed this

    May I ask? Are you the person who has been promoting the idea (for years) of entering a swing lifestyle? "It would be so exciting I'd be unable to have 'normal' sex with you" sound to me like a way of saying "stop bothering me with this".
    "I'll be mellow when I'm dead" ~Wierd Al Yankovic

  3. #3
    Better than Ice Cream two4youinswva's Avatar
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    Default Re: Curious how others have addressed this

    If she enjoys sex with you now, she's going to enjoy sex with you afterwards.

    From an outsiders perspective, it is a rather peculiar reason for hesitation. I don't want to dog pile on the subject, but I must admit I had the same thought as SW_PA_Couple when I first read your post.

    Here's hoping we're both wrong.
    You can tell how much a woman likes you by her feet. If they're behind her ears, she REALLY likes you.

  4. #4
    Here to Stay s_couple's Avatar
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    Default Re: Curious how others have addressed this

    Speaking from our own experiences... We're newbies and just joined this lifestyle. We had an MFM in a hotel and a couple swap (full swap) in an on premise club.

    Do we have a problem having sex with each other after we play with others? So far, not at all. We are so turned on talking about our life style experiences while we have sex now. It feels like we're back to our honeymoon stage back when we were still dating as opposed to a couple who has been together for 11 years (9 years married).

    Of course the great things we experience may not happen to everyone out there since each couple's relationship is different.

  5. #5
    Swingers Board Addict DigginIt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Curious how others have addressed this

    If anything, the sex is hotter with each other because you are both very turned on from the experiences.

    Is the new sex, better, hotter, etc...

    Well, yes and no. You can't compare "new sex" with your sex. It's apples and oranges. Hopefully the two of you have a deep intimate bond. New sex is very lustful and emotionally charged but at the end of the night...intimate sex still triumphs!!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Curious how others have addressed this

    SW PA Couple - of course I'm the one who has been promoting this idea. That's interesting that you see that as the indirect blow off. You may be right . . . who knows? I guess there's other things in life than mind-blowing sex.

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    Swingers Board Addict bbarnsworth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Curious how others have addressed this

    Quote Originally Posted by Hydro324 View Post
    I guess there's other things in life than mind-blowing sex.
    Breathable air, drinkable water. Yep, bases covered.

  8. #8
    Just a hick Okie Alura's Avatar
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    Default Re: Curious how others have addressed this

    Quote Originally Posted by bbarnsworth View Post
    Breathable air, drinkable water. Yep, bases covered.
    You forgot "bison herds," B.

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
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  9. #9
    Swingers Board Addict shrevecouple's Avatar
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    Default Re: Curious how others have addressed this

    Quote Originally Posted by Hydro324 View Post
    SW PA Couple - of course I'm the one who has been promoting this idea. That's interesting that you see that as the indirect blow off. You may be right . . . who knows? I guess there's other things in life than mind-blowing sex.
    Why yes there is. I would hope you would think this is possible without swinging activities. I would be thankful for her hesitation and consideration for you.
    Last edited by shrevecouple; 10-30-2011 at 07:30 AM. Reason: rewrite.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Curious how others have addressed this

    if you enjoy it now, you will enjoy later

  11. #11
    Founder JustAskJulie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hydro324 View Post
    SW PA Couple - of course I'm the one who has been promoting this idea. That's interesting that you see that as the indirect blow off. You may be right . . . who knows? I guess there's other things in life than mind-blowing sex.
    If you aren't having great sex now, but then her hesitation may not only be real it may be honest.
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