Question about where to start? (long)

[davidh304]

Hi,

My wife and I are curious about the lifestyle. We've been married 4 years now. Before I met my wife I attended a swinging event, a hotel party, as a single male. Although I was just a voyeur at the event I was very impressed with how nice, open, and friendly everyone was.

I told my wife about this and she had no problems with it. She was a little curious and suggested we should go as voyeurs some time. I agreed but we never really pursued the idea.

Our sex life has always never been a problem. We use toys, role play some, heck we even have velco straps attatched to the bed! (Nice as a novelty, makes sex a little difficult, but we keep them there for shock value )

Im a fairly conservative person but am open minded sexually. I don't like clubs and bars and am not Don Juan. My wife is very much a people person and has a wild side.

Recently my wife had one of her good friends over to our house, we will call her Ann. Ann is also very conservative for the most part. We drank, we danced, everyone had a good time. I went to bed. My wife proceeded to wake me up and ride me like a go cart! As far as I was concerned it was a great night!

THEN my wife asks me "Do you want to make out with Ann?"

My wife is very straight forward, if she asks me or tells me to do something she's not going to get mad at me later. She's a very non jealous and confident woman.

On unsteady ground I ask the following questions:

"Why are you asking me?" (Cause it's hot and would spice things up)
"Are you sure this is something you want?" (Yes, this is something I want you to do)


My wife leaves the room. For about five minutes my heart is racing and I'm thinking this is absolutely, positively the best day of my life HANDS DOWN! My wife enters the room with Ann and they get into bed!!

Ann is in the center, my wife is in the middle, and Im on the end.

I figure Im not going to press because at this point all I can do is screw things up!

My wife takes my hand and places it against Ann! OH YEAH! This is hot because:

1) It's two chicks and they are both beautiful women!
2) They are in my bed
3) My wife is here with me, encouraging this.

I touch Ann a little bit on her side but she doesn't react. I think that SHE thinks it's my wife. Ann is pretty much asleep and after a little bit I touch her arm by reaching over my wife. When she realizes its me she moves her arm away and rolls over.

I figure "ok, that was a shoot down but hey STILL THE BEST DAY EVER!"

I don't push and we all fall asleep.

The next morning I wake up and figure "what the hell, it's already a NO. Let's see what happens."

I caress my wife's private areas over her cute panties. She wakes up, realizes Ann is next to her and that I'm grouping her. She gives me the wave off. Ann wakes up a few hours later, and heads out without saying anything.

No problemo. When my wife wakes up we talk, quite openly about it. I told her that I touched Ann and she withdrew. My wife tells me that she was a little bit tipsy that night. My wife says she told Ann to come down stairs and sleep in our bed but never mentioned anything about sex.

I figure "hey it was a good run." Just the smell and excitment of having another woman in my bed was awesome. My wife enjoyed pushing the envelope a little bit. We jokingly pointed out that although Ann is very conservative she neverless jumped into bed with another couple.

About two weeks later myself, my wife and Ann end up going out to an upscale nightclub. I hate nightclubs and go to them maybe once a year. We come home. More dancing, drinking, and fun until the wee hours. During our merrymaking my wife flashes me when Ann isn't looking. There is also dancing among the three of us. There was lap dances (My wife on Ann, Ann on my wife, and my wife on me).

Again I go to bed and wish everyone a good night. Ann lays down on the couch. My wife says to "the upstairs bedroom is ready or you can sleep on the couch if you'd like." Ann pauses, waiting for the invite. Then my wife says "or you can come sleep with us."

JACKPOT!

My wife brings her into bed. We all chat a little bit, Ann recently got stood up by a date. My wife is selling me. Saying how Ann should talk to me to get my opinion about men. I put my hand on my wife's hips. She takes my hand and places it on Anns hips!

I remove it and put it back on my wife's hips. She AGAIN moves it onto Ann (who doesn't protest!)

GREEN LIGHT!

My wife whispers into my ear to get in the middle!

THANK YOU JESUS!

My wife whispers to me "Comfort her, tell her she has a nice ass."

I start touching Ann along her sides. I stroke her her and neck. Rub her ass. She kind of pretends that she's asleep but I could tell she wasn't.

It was fantastic! Kinda.

I went for some over the clothes between the legs action and got no response. No moan, no gentle opening of the legs, nothing. Maybe I should have pushed it further but I was getting the "No" vibe. Which was weird because she's in my bed!

We ended up all falling asleep eventually. Like I said we all had some firewater. Next morning, Ann wakes up and gets dressed. Ann talks to my wife for a minute, makes a few jokes and leaves without mentioning anything.

Next day, when she wakes up I talk to my wife about it. It was really good communication. My wife likes the fact that she is encouraging this girl to move past her normal comfort zone.

A few days later my wife thought that maybe I was too interested in Ann. My wife told me not to bring her into the bed again. Fair enough.

Later when she talks to Ann she discoveres that Ann was awake, and did like the touching.

I think Ann feels a little awkward towards me. My wife and Ann have spent time together since our little escapade.Probably not going to include Ann in anything in the future.

After all that my question is:

What should we try next?

[davidh304]

I don't either one of us is looking for a full swap but maybe something to spice our love life up. Maybe just some voyeurism or soft swinging to start.

I see it as a recreational activity. A way to add to our already good sex life. Personally, if my wife told me she wanted a MMF I think I would arrange that for her (or have her arrange it with me). We talked about it and I explained that the way I saw it was a beautiful gift of pleasure I could give to the woman I love.

A few days after our second encounter my wife had a touch of jealousy. I can certainly see my wife's perspective. Ann was coming over for a family get together and I got a little dressed up. We talked about it and basically I told my wife I would do or not do whatever she would like. I have never talked to Ann outside the prescence of my wife but overall she's a very nice person. My wife is not concerned about anything happening in the future between me and Ann. I made it clear that yes, being in bed with two women excites me but that my wife is priority number one.

If we do decide to put our toe into the lifestyle a little bit how do you suggest we do it?

We can both travel nationwide very easily.

Should we travel to a popular or "good" on premisis swing club? Perhaps try a private party? Go just as voyeurs first?

The reason I don't like Night Clubs is the hubris (sp?) that most people come with. The attitude. Perhaps a swinger club would be more to our liking.

I think there's something a lot more honest about a swinging couple saying "Hi, I'm part of a committed couple. We think you two are attractive and may want to have sex with you."

Like I said I was very impressed with the people I met from my one foray into a swing group. Very down to earth people.

Sorry about the novel and thanks for any advice!

[funcoupledayton]

I think you should read The Swinger's Manual. You can get it here I think or on Amazon. It is a great introduction.

I think you would have fun at a club. I'm in Ohio so I have no advice on what's near you. You can also join a website like swinglifestyle and see who is in your area. It might be better to go easy with Ann and meet some people who are already in the lifestyle. Sometimes friendships can get difficult when you add sex to the mix.

Good luck to you. Your post was very fun to read!

[Cajun2Step]

There are two questions that are important:
1. What do you and your wife want to do?
2. Are you both sure and have before agreed upon guidelines for what to do if and when the time comes that you jump in with both feet.

The best information we can give you is communicate, communicate, communicate with each other. Make sure this is what you both want. If so, jump in headfirst.