My wife is confined to a wheelchair, should we swing?

[newtothisgb]

We are a couple (48,49) looking into this lifestyle but are concerned that no one would be interested in us as we are not super fit or particularly good looking and my wife is confined to a whelchair (she thinks no one will be or turned on by her) she does with me all the time!!!! we are both friendly and quiet and would appreciate feedback on whether we are crazy to consider trying this lifestyle.

Many thanks to all who respond

[DigginIt]

So, my first word of advice is kill the negativity.

"concerned that no one would be interested in us as we are not super fit or particularly good looking"

You are often perceived through the attitudes you project and if you are thinking about getting into the lifestyle then it's time to adopt a fresh outlook. There are all kinds of people in swinging from elitist to stalkers and everyone in between.

You will find people who are superficial and you will find people who are possibly some of the best friends you will ever meet and if you really want to go down this road, you will find another couple that will like and accept you for who you are.

I'm not saying it will be easy but most things that are worthwhile are not easy. I certainly believe that worrying about how and what others may think about you should be the least of the factors weighing in on your decision.

I wish you both the best.

[N&G]

Swingers are a cross section of the general population. Most people are not "Barbie and Ken" and you will find most people are more like yourselves.
There are plenty of people with handicaps that swing and although you may have a harder time meeting people, if others enjoy your company the wheelchair should be only a minor impediment to playing and having a good time.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Within our circle of acquaintance are one man who has, since birth, not had the use of his legs, one woman, his wife, who moves around only if using a wheel chair, and another woman who rolls up to the house and once inside, gets up and around with the assistance of one of the other people in the house.

As for the issue of super fitness, my wife and I are no Greek goddess or god. But we make and maintain many friendships within the lifestyle.

Hoping this helps,

~Michael

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by DigginIt

So, my first word of advice is kill the negativity.

BINGO.

Stop worrying about what others think of you. The people who don't think well of you because of what they see are people you don't want to play with anyway, so they just saved you time by walking away. Cool

Personally, if I came across a woman in a wheelchair in swinging, it wouldn't affect my decision to play with her or not. Is she fun to be around? Great personality? Obvious depth to her intellect? That matters. A wheelchair doesn't.

As to your own sense of attractiveness; it's a common misconception that swingers are all made by Bodies By Beautiful, Inc. False. Absolutely false. Plus, it's an insult to your partner. It's like saying "I'm soooo ugly, nobody in the world is stupid enough to be attracted to me except my spouse" <cough> Really? Do you hold such a negative opinion of your spouse's powers of discernment?

Whether or not you are attractive or not is not up for you to decide. It's up to others interacting with you. All YOU can do is put your best foot forward, and let the world deal with itself.

[Cajun2Step]

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

BINGO.

Stop worrying about what others think of you. The people who don't think well of you because of what they see are people you don't want to play with anyway, so they just saved you time by walking away. Cool

Personally, if I came across a woman in a wheelchair in swinging, it wouldn't affect my decision to play with her or not. Is she fun to be around? Great personality? Obvious depth to her intellect? That matters. A wheelchair doesn't.

As to your own sense of attractiveness; it's a common misconception that swingers are all made by Bodies By Beautiful, Inc. False. Absolutely false. Plus, it's an insult to your partner. It's like saying "I'm soooo ugly, nobody in the world is stupid enough to be attracted to me except my spouse" <cough> Really? Do you hold such a negative opinion of your spouse's powers of discernment?

Whether or not you are attractive or not is not up for you to decide. It's up to others interacting with you. All YOU can do is put your best foot forward, and let the world deal with itself.

We would like to add our two cents worth to this discussion. To the above post we quoted we would like to add another big BINGO. Attractiveness is not in physical beauty only, but in a positive attitude, friendliness, a smile, and the ability to carry on a decent conversation in a positive manner.

Actually we are sitting here as we together respond and are thinking that sex with a person in a wheel chair might just be one of the most erotic things we have never done. So, as stated before...drop the negativity and get on with a happy life. We are out of here to go enjoy our aroused state we find ourselves enjoying thinking about sex with a lady in a wheel chair.

[ClosetSwinger]

Personality is HUGE in the lifestyle, at least for us it is. We enjoy people we can laugh with and talk to. I have seen a few people at our local club IN WHEELCHAIRS and they are accepted and welcomed just like everyone else. I have found that swingers are a VERY ACCEPTING, non judgemental (in most ways) group of people.

[mikeandjenn2001]

As everybody has previously stated, it's all about attitude and personality. We have met some great people through the lifestyle, some missing limbs and some in wheelchairs. For us, a decision to play or not play is not based on appearances alone, but a whole variety of factors to include personality.

[Powerglide]

One thing most folks discover about swinging is that sexiness is really not a function of how good looking you are by conventional standards. If you and your wife project happiness, a welcoming attitude, and an eagerness to fuck, you'll make lots of friends and have lots of terrific sex. By the way, I am just like a Greek God. The trouble is it's Hephaestus: gimpy and with a girl who fucks other guys! (Thank you, dear!)

[JustAskJulie]

How you feel about yourselves is how others will find you. If you believe no one will be interested, they won't be interested. If you believe that the wheelchair doesn't matter, it won't. I've seen a few different people at clubs and socials in wheelchairs having a great time.

[Ed & Bunny]

I think you are making the wheelchair into a negative when it actually might be a positive. If I were to see a woman come to a party in a wheelchair it will catch my attention and my thoughts will be, there is a woman who is confident and comfortable enough in herself to come in a chair. Right off the bat you have interested me.

[Chicup]

I'd say the biggest obstacle to overcome won't be the wheelchair itself but the rejection that will come from some because of it.

Rejection is common in the lifestyle and it always stings a bit no matter what the reason, and it will be easy to use the wheelchair as the excuse for giving up after that rejection.

Successful swinging isn't who gets the most offers but what you experience from those you do connect with.

I'd guess 90&#37; of the couples we have no interest in playing with and of those 10%, I'd guess 50% have no interest in getting to know us. So we enjoy that 5% and don't worry about the rest.

[JandT_Elkhart]

we would say that we'd think the issue would come from people "scared" of her physical situation. As a guy, I'd not be any less interested in her wheelchair vs. none... but I would have some specific questions... Is there anything I need to know? Anything I shouldn't do (ie. is there a risk of hurting her?)? Limitations on positions?

None of those answers "matter" (answers would not sway my decision) other than to help me to make it a good experience for her.

I echo the general theme: COMMUNICATION is the key.

[AskMeOk]

The only thing I see that might need some attention is....... don't be quiet! Walk in and own the situation; smile and BE POSITIVE. There are certainly some folks that won't be interested, but that would be true, regardless. In our circle of friends, personality and enthusiasm towards swinging is most important, not looks or challenges. You folks go out there, meet some friends and enjoy life.