Swinging to help build my confidence and better our relationship

[interested-05]

if the two of you decide to try swinging , work on it as a couple, or you are likely to regret trying.. agree to your own set of rules, but if alcohol is a problem you really need to keep a lid on the quantity at leaast until you are both really comfortable with swinging.
you may want to start by going to clubs to check out the lifestyle before jumping in with both feet.

[bbarnsworth]

I can't tell you that a given party atmosphere would be receptive to a couple at the party suddenly engaging in oral sex. Some parties, that would be cool. Some, not so much I can tell you that at a swing club, so long as it was happening in a place in the club where such things were ok (usually most or all of the club) nobody would be upset.

You've indicated your wife playing with someone alone and then you watching the recording would make you mad probably. So don't do it. It's ok to have a rule that says no solo playing. Many couples never play solo, and that's fine.

You've commented about having limits to keep the focus on her. That would probably create more problems than it would solve.

I also agree that the friends idea is a bad idea; go with a person(s) that you can cut out of your life easily.

Just take things slowly, bit by bit.

[Raven74]

We really appreciate all the advice ... from everyone!!

We will be taking it slow and talking about everything under the sun in the meantime. This may happen one day or may never happen but either way this has help us communicate much better. I do think that we would both love to go check out a club, if anything, just to see what its all about but we do a have a couple fears as what to expect.

How do you know what the right club is and we both worry that the area the club would be in...well...we worry that it may be a huge cultural difference. (I wasn't sure how else to put that.) I believe that a club would also help me in a way, become more comfortable with myself. I think it would also be very exciting for the both of us since we both like to watch and being watched would also be exciting. Is it ok for a couple to go to a club and just hang out and watch and do people tend to want to pressure you at a club? Should it cost money or be free?

Maybe I should be posting these questions in another area...

We both like to chill out and have some drinks and though its not a problem it sometimes tends to be a lot if we are out at a club. Hey after a few drinks it kinda goes down like water We are able to keep a handle on it though It also seems that we would have to establish some rules that we would be both comfortable with before going to a club or doing anything else. I know I wouldn't want to put her in a position that would get her upset or Vice-versa. I also know that doing anything would mean it would be for our enjoyment and not just hers or mine or someone else's. What are good limits or is it just what your comfortable with and what your not?

Thanks again for all the advice, help and time!!

[funcoupledayton]

You can check out the club reviews section here for clubs in your area. I think all of them have a door fee, and most probably require some sort of membership fee. Many clubs are BYOB so maybe you should just really limit what you bring so you don't drink to much. Many people go to clubs to watch or just check things out, so you shouldn't feel pressured to play. Good luck and have fun.