No kids?

[Ambition87]

Complete newbie question here, but I was going through the archives of people's rules in swinging. Many people mentioned "no kids" - what does that even mean? My question really is what is "yes kids" even mean?

Sorry if this is really naive or something, but I'm quite [shocked/confused] not sure which one!

[LikeMinds321]

"No Kids" pertains to having children in the vicinity when swinging. Babysitters can be costly and hard to get, so some swingers wonder if it might work to invite a couple over for play after the young children have gone to bed. This isn't considered a good idea by most, because children can wake up, cry, and need attention for a variety of reasons, which would interrupt adult activities taking place in another part of the house. Or, kids that are old enough to walk, can surprise you by walking in on activities or overhearing you. There are privacy issues with children close by, and it can be difficult to relax knowing they are near.

Here is one thread I found on the topic:

Having a few couples over with kids in the house


Also, sometimes ad profiles say "no kids" and that can mean they are childless or their kids are grown and living elsewhere, thus they swing without the restrains children can bring to planning swing dates. People who have "no kids" are often open to entertaining in their home.

LM

[Coupleerotic22]

Without seeing it in context, I cannot be 100% sure, but I am 99.8%.

Kids/no kids, just means the couple have/don't have children. Having children can mean a host of issues that make planning more difficult. Usually no hosting guest, they must meet elsewhere, for example. Also, over night sitters can be hard to arrange, so plans are contingent. Over night sitters are also very expensive, so it is a nice way to say please don't stand us up, at least without calling. And finally, with children, you can never be sure what might crop up to delay, cancel or interrupt a date.

We have small children, and we have met couples that cooled off a bit when they found that out. It is just logistical issues that some couples who do not children prefer not to have to deal with. Which is ironic, when you have two couples that have small children trying to get together, it can take a while.

With us, like the vast majority, family comes first, so it is not a huge deal. But some couples are empty nesters, and understand what the issues are, but prefer to avoid couples with kids in order to make the most of their time. And others who never had kids and may not understand the complexities.

EDIT: WOW, no one had replied when I started writing this, I can believe it took me 13 minutes to write it. Surely something else is going on, lol. As usual LikeMinds321 said it perfectly (and with fewer words than I) .

[Trace Ekies]

In the context of "What are you into?" we have a saying..."No pain, potty, kids or animals".

While some, including us, will find the very thought of such things to be disturbing there is a large group who enjoy such things. We had a couple ask us if we'd be interested in a single woman and single man joining us if we decided to play. We were definitely interested until I managed to get the woman to admit the others were their children...her 18 and him 20.

"No kids" takes on a WHOLE NEW meaning in this context...

Trace

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Trace Ekies

In the context of "What are you into?" we have a saying..."No pain, potty, kids or animals".

Trace brings up a good point; the context in which the phrase "no kids" is used determines the intent of its meaning. Still, if you are unsure, ask the person for clarification.

I don't believe "there is a large group who enjoy such things." Of the four mentioned, pain is probably the more likely to run across, and even then, pain and pleasure can be close to one another in how the body/mind perceive them during sex. A hard slap on the bottom can feel great when sexually aroused, but do it when not in the midst of sex and it can hurt! I don't want to get further off the topic of discussion, but I want to point out that understanding what people mean can sometimes be difficult and it never hurts to ask for clarification.

LM

[Coupleerotic22]

Trace & LikeMinds addressed the .2% of doubt I had about the context.

That creeps me out so badly, I didn't want to bring it up. That said, I think it is exceeding rare in reality, as much as some outsiders would like you to believe otherwise.

[SecretAsianMan]

Yeah... I'm inclined to go with the request that their (potential) partners not have children (or not have young children which they are still the primary caretakers for)

Partners with kids definately complicates things: when you can go out ... calls or interruptions during your time together ... arrangements for babysitters ... if the new partner can host / have guests or if y'all will constantly be getting motel/hotel rooms... etc., etc., etc.

[Coupleerotic22]

Originally Posted by SecretAsianMan

Yeah... I'm inclined to go with the request that their (potential) partners not have children (or not have young children which they are still the primary caretakers for)

Partners with kids definately complicates things: when you can go out ... calls or interruptions during your time together ... arrangements for babysitters ... if the new partner can host / have guests or if y'all will constantly be getting motel/hotel rooms... etc., etc., etc.

Yep!! I love the little ones to death, but they do add certain complications logistically. But I wouldn't trade em for anything. So we just have to work a little harder to get playtime.

We are in our 40's , and had children latter in life, so most potential playmates around our age understand and are considerate of what have to do, they have "been there don that". It all usually works out in the end.

[sweet_tna]

Most of our playmates seem to have kids right around our kids' ages. So while meeting up takes more schedule wrangling, at least we all understand the issues. We're very fortunate that Mr. Sweet's mother loves to have the kids sleep over, so that gives us the option to host or at least not have to rush home in the wee hours of the morning.

=)

[Alura]

Ah, how well I remember the days of No kids!

(Phone rings...)

"Hi, this is Alura. ... Just a minute, Sally... Hey, Sweetheart, How would you feel about going over to the Jones' and swapping tonight?"

Mrs. Alura: "Could they come over here instead so we can start out in the spa?"

Alura: "How about if y'all come here and we'll get into the spa? ... About eight will be fine! We'll light some candles and open some wine. See y'all soon!"


Alura

[shy_couple]

When I see this it is not usually a stand alone. It usually says something like no kids, no pets, no potty stuff. Just a disclaimer that they are looking to explore outside the box, but nothing too weird or out there.

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by shy_couple

When I see this it is not usually a stand alone. It usually says something like no kids, no pets, no potty stuff. Just a disclaimer that they are looking to explore outside the box, but nothing too weird or out there.

That is the other possibility if it's a "stand alone" statement declaring their particular kinks / limits... "no kids" could mean they're not into any type of kid-kink or sexual context involving minors (or perceived minors)