Advice for a First time

[NymphoWind]

From those of you who have experience in the swinging lifestyle or experience in group sex in general, for a couple looking to invite a 3rd person, what good advice can you give from your experiences being in the life style for some time?

Also for those of you who have been involved in swinging for some time, and for everyone else who is new to the lifestyle, looking to get into it, what is/was the reason you decided to get into swinging/group sex?

Thanks

[MsGoneWild]

Fiance and i have been swinging for about a year, but it was always something we discussed (everything from bringing others to bed, to conversations that wonder about the reasons some people think humans are a monogamous species (we don't think they are)) etc.

My personal advice; go with your gut. If you are ever uncomfortable--speak up. No matter what the topic. Choosing people to meet, sleeping with others, whatever.

I have more,but i have something i need to take care of. I'll add it later.

[DocWill]

Our only advice is to make sure that all parties involved can deal with the next day. The lead up and the sex can be mind blowing, but dealing with what comes after the sex is the hard part for a lot of couples. Just make sure this is something you ALL want to do… and talk about it when you’re stone cold sober and not fantasizing during sex. Alcohol and hormones can wreak havoc on an otherwise logical mind. If you can discuss the scenario like you would a trip to your local grocery store then you’re well ahead of the game.

Good luck and have fun!

[serenandsol]

This is terrific advice...good for every newcomer!

[Coupleerotic22]

Talk, talk, talk. And when you feel like you talked enough, take a break and then talk some more.

And I mean really communicate. Understand each others desires, fears, apprehensions etc., and then be considerate of them.

Take you time in finding and choosing a playmate, make sure everyone is happy with the situation. No need to be in a rush. Find the right person.

Set out any boundaries you have with your mate and partner before anything happens. If you feel the need to set out rules, make them clear and stick to them throughout the encounter, don't change them in the heat of the moment.

Expect the unexpected. No matter how much you think about it and talk about it, you might have some pangs of jealousy or guilt, that seems normal. Things may seem strange at first. Don't let it freak you out, just talk through it.

Don't put any pressure on yourselves, things very likely will not go like your fantasy. Your partner may not be as good at something as the partner in your fantasy. It is unlikely things will play out the same as you have them choreographed in your fantasies. As long as they are not doing something outside your boundaries, or that you are uncomfortable with then roll with it.

If things get uncomfortable and you want to stop, then stop. Don't keep going if you feel things are not right.

Relax and have fun.

[realcplub2]

Nymphowind, Welcome.

Your questions are ones we hear all the time and answers are offered, but please understand there are no cookie cutter steps to the lifestyle.

For starters We would refer you to our BLOG

Plenty of advice and answers to question are contained within

But moreover as far as the absolutes to your questions..
For threesomes Foursomes, or MORESOMES.. make sure you and your spouse/mate/BF are on the same page, and completely into it. Anyone can call a STOP, at any time.. set the ground rules and then communicate that to the newcummer.. Re assure each other that despite the excitement ahead, your emotional attachment is with them, and after all is said, and DONE, you are going home togehter to relive EVERY MOMENT together

Now why each of us gets involved in the lifestyle is as varied as the people within it, just as the levels of the lifestyle.. From same room sex, soft swing full swap, house parties, and free for all Orgies..

In our case we shared what turned us on, and excited us, and after tons of hot sex, and discussions about it we both agreed there was a lot we wanted to experience, and try, and more over, the fact that we were sharing the sexperiences, made it even hotter.

[ENCRYPTEDTX]

Originally Posted by NymphoWind

From those of you who have experience in the swinging lifestyle or experience in group sex in general, for a couple looking to invite a 3rd person, what good advice can you give from your experiences being in the life style for some time?





Also for those of you who have been involved in swinging for some time, and for everyone else who is new to the lifestyle, looking to get into it, what is/was the reason you decided to get into swinging/group sex?

Thanks

I like to tell everyone who is new to the lifestyle that there are two very important things you MUST DO.


Communicate Communicate Communicate- You both should talk about the experience openly and honestly with each other. You should "devils advocate things" and ask hypothetical questions that you will be faced with. Do you know what you will be looking for in a partner? Looks? Personality? Where is the compromise on either? Is there a compromise? What if this person has model looks and zero personality? Vice Versa?

Say you meet a guy-
What if he kisses her? Is kissing ok?
What if his kiss is softer?
What if he is larger endowed than your partner?
What if he is smaller than your partner?

Say you meet a female-

What if she is only into the female?
What if she is only into the male?
What if she has rules for both of you-anything goes with the female and soft touching with the male?

There are millions of things you will have to discuss with your partner and these are just a few.

As equally important as the communication is your comfort. You both need to be 100% comfortable with anything and everything that happens. Trust your gut. If you are not comfortable with the way things are going, you can stop at any time. Say drinks and conversation arent going well or you're not feeling the chemistry. If you are not comfortable, find a place that makes you comfortable. This rule applies to drinks at Applebee's or round 3 of a hot night of sex! You must both be 100% comfortable.


Kyle

[RDfnd]

Everything said so far is excellent general advice. For something more specific "for a couple looking to invite a 3rd person," it would be helpful to know if you are interested in a man or woman to join you.