Geographic concerns ;)

[Nlove4ever]

Ok, guys and gals, as many questions as we've posted in the few days we've been here, I know you are tired of seeing our username LOL! But just one more for today. I have noticed alot of jokes about the South and Alabama as far as closemindedness. I realize we are in the middle of one of the most conservative, religious areas in the nation (being located in southeastern Alabama), and for those of you in this area and similar areas.....is there anyway in which we should exercise more than normal caution? I guess what we're trying to ask is because of the atmosphere around here, are any of you especially cautious about meeting people? I'm not trying to be confusing or offensive, we are just beginning to talk to/email some others in our area, and want to be sure we aren't being stupid without knowing it. Just afraid of being overly naive.

On another note, we appreciate all the time and thought that everyone has put into answering our questions! Hope to have some of you as good friends!!!

[SW_PA_Couple]

My wife and I live in south-western Pennsylvania but we have both lived other places in the USA and have traveled the World. This notion that people of the southern United States think more narrowly than others and carry a greater number of prejudices is not founded upon fact. My experience tells me, in fact, that people of "The South" are warm and friendly. And if you don't believe that close-mindedness is absent from "The North", I'll take you on a little tour and make you into a believer. . . .

[Nlove4ever]

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

My wife and I live in south-western Pennsylvania but we have both lived other places in the USA and have traveled the World. This notion that people of the southern United States think more narrowly than others and carry a greater number of prejudices is not founded upon fact. My experience tells me, in fact, that people of "The South" are warm and friendly. And if you don't believe that close-mindedness is absent from "The North", I'll take you on a little tour and make you into a believer. . . .

I'm glad to hear that it is all just joking around, and there need be no more concerns here than anywhere else. We were both raised here, and love being from the South, but are both fairly well traveled. Having a narrow mind is not limited to any geographic region, and perhaps we should have better phrased the question to reflect that. We apologize if we offended you.

[two4youinswva]

I think, generally speaking, it's more of a small town thing, no matter the location.

That being said, how much information you put out there depends on your comfort level, and how much you want to protect your privacy.

There are quite a few things you can do to minimize the chance that everyone finds out what you're up to. You can't completely eliminate the possibility though, so there's that to consider.

Most things are common sense. Don't send pics or detailed information to people you don't know. Use separate email accounts for all swinging activities. Use stricter privacy settings on your online ad, etc. etc. etc.

We live in a similar type atmosphere here (bible belt, small town, etc), and we just use discretion in order to maintain our privacy. We're fairly private people anyway, so no big deal to us.

[Coupleerotic22]

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

My wife and I live in south-western Pennsylvania but we have both lived other places in the USA and have traveled the World. This notion that people of the southern United States think more narrowly than others and carry a greater number of prejudices is not founded upon fact. My experience tells me, in fact, that people of "The South" are warm and friendly. And if you don't believe that close-mindedness is absent from "The North", I'll take you on a little tour and make you into a believer. . . .

Very well put. Having done more traveling around this country than care to remember, attitudes of the South do not differ from other regions as you might think. Suffice to say those attitude are everywhere. I like making fun of the stereotypes as well, and do it with some frequency, hey, if you can't poke fun at yourself, well....

Anyway, being cautious is good. I agree it has more to do with small towns than anything. Mainly because people tend to know a larger percentage of the population. Just take normal precautions and you should be fine. You will be surprised to find the diversity within the LS, and find people you never thought would be in the LS as well.

If you are not comfortable locally, you are just a short distance from the panhandle and not too far from Mobile and Montgomery. Birmingham and Atlanta are a bit further, but have very active LS communities.

By the way, welcome to the Swingers Board from a fellow Alabamian. And if you did not realize it, our host, Julie, resides in the state as well.
Good luck and have fun.

[cplnuswing]

Neighboring state, but same deal here, very small gossipy town where the favorite pastime is trying to find out everyone else's business then tsk tsking about it. That issue is one of our main concerns since we both work in the public eye.

As others have mentioned, you just take all the common sense precautions you can to maintain your privacy. We take those that have been mentioned a little bit further though and have a firm rule that we just politely decline contacts from anyone too local, no matter how much we may think we would be interested. Having to travel to attend a party, etc. does limit your nights out somewhat, but it's just a matter of balancing your peace of mind against your fun.

Another thing I will pass on is a piece of advice we received from an experienced couple when we were first starting out - if you value your discretion, then only associate with people who do too, otherwise your cover can be blown no matter what actions you personally take to prevent that. People you first meet in person at an event or whatever you probably can get a good feel for up front. Some random contact on Swing Lifestyle, not so easy, so you just need to look for clues in their profile. How they handle their pictures, etc. are good clues. They could be in a position where public face pics are ok for them, and still understand that others need or prefer to be more discrete, and would never threaten that. However, others may not be so circumspect or respectful, so it's just a judgement call. Someone several hours away, less risk. Someone next county over, more risk. Another recent real-life example is we received a contact from a supposed couple that would meet the initial screen of not too local, right ages, etc. but on their public profile they list several ways to contact them outside of Swing Lifestyle including a phone number. #1 red flag, good odds that's a cheating male, #2 is maybe that number just goes to their special "swinging" prepaid cell phone, but putting out a phone number to get any and all random calls just isn't our style so will pass on that one even though otherwise we might be interested in finding out more about them.

Not too hard really - don't play with coworkers, don't play with neighbors, don't try to make vanilla friends into swingers, use some common sense to protect and guard your privacy, and the odds of having a problem are very low.

[TNT]

Originally Posted by Nlove4ever

for those of you in this area and similar areas.....is there anyway in which we should exercise more than normal caution? I guess what we're trying to ask is because of the atmosphere around here, are any of you especially cautious about meeting people?

Ted and I are from LA (Lower Alabama for those who don't get the reference), we're 13 miles from the state line and our home town is as backwoods as they come.

When we first started swinging one of my biggest concerns was it getting out into the community. We're both very well known in the community and at that time still had kids in the local school. We started out traveling to larger neighboring towns to meet people as I just wasn't comfortable meeting people closer to home. What I eventually discovered was that everyone else in our small community were also traveling to the larger ones to meet people. As time passed we stopped traveling out of town to play...there just wasn't a reason to...why drive one to two hours to play when you can drive 15-20 minutes and meet the same people you'd be meeting at the end of a long drive?

We don't use any different precautions contacting someone in our area than we do contacting people out of our area. Common sense is your best friend.


Teresa

[ViSexual]

I totally agree that folks who are too quick to give contact info should be a red flag.

Find folks as cautious and hesitant as you are, and make sure they have as much to lose as you if outed.

Most phonies will get bored and go away after three emails, so take your time in getting to know folks before giving real contact info.

And, hey, the 'getting acquainted' part is like good foreplay and can be very enjoyable!

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by Nlove4ever

Ok, guys and gals, as many questions as we've posted in the few days we've been here, I know you are tired of seeing our username LOL!

Absolutely not! You can ask as many questions as you want.

Originally Posted by Nlove4ever

But just one more for today. I have noticed alot of jokes about the South and Alabama as far as closemindedness. I realize we are in the middle of one of the most conservative, religious areas in the nation (being located in southeastern Alabama),

SW_PA_Couple is absolutely correct. This notion carries prejudices that are hollow and without foundation in fact of any kind. Sooooo many times on this forum and many others I've seen people lay claim to living in "the bible belt". I've seen it applied to a dizzying array of states, and no region seems to be immune to it.

The reality is, everywhere you go there's going to be a mix of people. Some are going to be openly repulsed at the idea of people swinging. Some are going to respond with interest. No region has a monopoly on close mindedness. Prejudicial hatred is, sadly, an all too human trait. No area of the world is more immune or more susceptible to it than others.

Originally Posted by Nlove4ever

is there any way in which we should exercise more than normal caution? I guess what we're trying to ask is because of the atmosphere around here, are any of you especially cautious about meeting people? I'm not trying to be confusing or offensive, we are just beginning to talk to/email some others in our area, and want to be sure we aren't being stupid without knowing it. Just afraid of being overly naive.

If you're contacting people who've already expressed an interest in the lifestyle (for example through Swing Lifestyle) then you're contacting people who are open minded enough to consider swinging. I don't think you're going out on a limb in contacting anyone.

Your own sense of privacy is of concern. What you accept is up to you. For my wife and I, we keep our swinging lives separate as much as possible from our 'vanilla' lives. None of our vanilla friends knows but one other couple who are also swingers. Nobody outside of swinging other than them has any clue that we're swingers. We don't give out our address or home phone number to swingers, we don't exchange face photos on line, we don't play at home.

Originally Posted by Nlove4ever

On another note, we appreciate all the time and thought that everyone has put into answering our questions! Hope to have some of you as good friends!!!

Speaking for myself, but probably too for many people here; we love to help!