What if there is an "awkwardness" after

[R&P_in_LV]

We are easing into swinging. Have talked and discussed all types of it.
The only concern as we start to involve others is the question of their being a akwardness after.

I guess the best way to describe it is, during sex some of the things we say and talk about doing would make a porn star blush, but after the session is over not so much talk about it.

We both are on board with threesomes, and soft swapping but want to make sure were happy with eachother after.

Are their any preivous topics on this?

Thx

R & P

[M1F2KTJ]

You started as friends and you end as friends. Any feelings of awkwardness will most likely be felt by all. Offer drinks, food, a shower, a place to sleep ... All good things come to an end, ... for now.

[SW_PA_Couple]

My wife and I felt awkward before, during and after our first partner exchange.

Before -- we were sitting on the sofa, they had seated themselves on their living room rug. The two of them kept sliding closer and closer. We kept wondering if these we some kind of secret sign we were suppose to flash at them to say, "Hey, stop the sliding and start with the fucking already".

During -- My wife discovers that the guy has a mechanical device that allows him to maintain an erection. The "other woman" begins the discover that I am having a heck of a time getting mine up and begins to wish I also had a mechanical device.

After -- We are driving back home discussing this and that about the evening and realize that nobody spoke the words, "we'll give you a call" or "let's get back together again soon".

These feelings of awkwardness were navigated the same way that awkward situations are handled in ordinary life -- using civility. Nobody pointed out the awkwardness but made comments or acted in ways, rather, that would either prompt action or save embarrassment.

Leading up to this first successful partner exchange, we encountered situations were civility was not used and the awkwardness was never relieved. Easier, I will admit, to say using hindsight but we are all adults and we have left these people behind us without feeling regret. The reward makes any effort worthwhile.

Here is my wish that you both find what you want.

~Michael

[fun4Ds]

Not sure if you could call this an awkward moment ? We were with a single male once at the hotel. After a great session we were just chilling, catching our breath and he did the strangest thing...

He tucked his cock and balls back between his legs, laying on the bed on his side. His junk disappeared and it looked like a pussy ? He wasn't small buy any means, and I think it would hurt if I did that.... He must have stayed like that for a good half hour while talking to us about other playmates he had been with... Nothing said about who they were, just "sexy talk"

Later after we played again (obviously it didnt hurt him) and then left, Mrsfun said " did you see he had his cock pulled back like that while we were talking ?"

We laughed about it after leaving but never said a word to him, he is a great single male and we would play with him again... Just kind of weird I guess, we never have seen anything like that before...

Fun4ds

[sexcupid]

OP..are you asking what if there is awkwardness between the people you are playing with or what if there is an awkwardness between you and your hubby?

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by R&P_in_LV

I guess the best way to describe it is, during sex some of the things we say and talk about doing would make a porn star blush.......

Mrs two4you really likes the dirty talk. However, unless we know the other couple enjoys it, we tend to tone it way down when playing with others.
Believe it or not, some ladies DON'T get off on being told they are a naughty little cocksucker. If you take it too far, the awkward situation may occur during play, and not after.

[R&P_in_LV]

Originally Posted by sexcupid

OP..are you asking what if there is awkwardness between the people you are playing with or what if there is an awkwardness between you and your hubby?

Talking about between us. We have such a great marriage and a great sex life would reallllly be bad to mess things up. But we both are into the idea of it all for sure.

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by R&P_in_LV

Talking about between us. We have such a great marriage and a great sex life would reallllly be bad to mess things up. But we both are into the idea of it all for sure.

Do you two seem to communicate fine otherwise?

Two people who are happily swinging should be able to talk about anything. There isn't anything that I can't talk to him about.

I probably wouldn't swing until we could talk to each other without any awkwardness between us. If we can't talk about having sex with others and what we experienced, we might not be ready for swinging.

[R&P_in_LV]

No we communicate great.... I think im not explaning it well.
Example car ride home after.......

We just dont want any regreats


btw thx for help

[sexcupid]

Most of us "debrief" in the car ride home...so if your communication is otherwise good, then it should be ok.

Now, if you are wanting a guarantee that things might not be a slight bit awkward afterwards....well, we can't give you that. There may be some as far as figuring out what or how to say something. Plus you may find that what normally works for you as far as communication may have to be tweaked. For me normally, I want details/minutiae. For LS related stuff, I would rather not. Usually a "Did you have a good time? Yes, that's good." is usually all I need from him afterwards because in that respect I do not care to hear the details. If it wasn't a good experience, I would be curious as to why...but if its good, then I don't care to know the specifics (plus I'm usually somewhere near by in the playroom and can hear how well his evening may be going lol).

If there is awkwardness after, well work through it. Unfortunately life doesn't have a guarantee policy...if you have good communication, if your relationship is solid, you have a good foundation. Everything else just needs to be dealt with as it comes along.

Good luck

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

He tucked his cock and balls back between his legs, laying on the bed on his side. His junk disappeared and it looked like a pussy ? He wasn't small buy any means, and I think it would hurt if I did that.... He must have stayed like that for a good half hour while talking to us about other playmates he had been with... Nothing said about who they were, just "sexy talk"

Later after we played again (obviously it didnt hurt him) and then left, Mrsfun said " did you see he had his cock pulled back like that while we were talking ?"

We laughed about it after leaving but never said a word to him, he is a great single male and we would play with him again... Just kind of weird I guess, we never have seen anything like that before...

I've done it, I'm not small (average length, top 10% girth), and it doesn't hurt. I had a girlfriend a long time ago that would intentionally put mr. happy like that. Also liked playing "turtle" with him between play sessions.

*shrug* makes no difference to me. It doesn't hurt, and it made her happy...it's all good.

[Sir Dude]

The other guy couldn't find the condom after he finished with Tina. Tina was lying on the bed and the two of us were searching for the condom. It was as if it had vanished like an odd sock.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by R&P_in_LV

Talking about between us. We have such a great marriage and a great sex life would reallllly be bad to mess things up. But we both are into the idea of it all for sure.

There is going to be some level of awkwardness after your first time (and maybe even your third or fifth time) of doing something so totally new and foreign for your relationship. The key, as others have said, is communication. In the car ride home, talk about what happened, and what might leave either of you feeling awkward and get it out there. Don't allow things to fester and come up the next day as a "bad" thing. The debriefing in the car ride home, as others described, is the best thing you can do. Allow for the "oh I really liked when he did....." or "It really bothered me when she did...." without judgement and with the knowledge that it was just a new experience just like the first time you did something else new together. You'll like some things and dislike others, and next time it will be different because of what you realized from the first.