Soft-swap question

curiousNWcouple · 02-11-2010, 12:22 AM

Hello everyone!

Well, our name says it all - we are a curious couple looking for information and possibly some great new experiences in our lives

A little while ago, I shared some fantasys with Mrs Curious about watching her giving a blow-job to another guy while I watch. One avenue we have considered is going to a well-known on-premise lifestyle club and testing the waters that way.

Of course if it was a single guy we both agreed on there wouldn't be a big issue, but if we meet a couple that we click with, would it be okay to ask that only Mrs Curious and the other guy interact with each other (while I and the other gal just watch)? Would this be an out-of-line request, or does it just depend on the other half?

Thanks for any words of wisdom!

curiousNWcouple

sexcupid · 02-11-2010, 10:37 AM

Check the club's website to see if and when single males are allowed to be in attendance. That may be your best bet.

As far as if you find a couple that your Mrs. likes the Mr. of....well that really is dependent upon that couple. Sure, you never know until you ask...but many couples tend to play together (even if it is just a soft swap). Personally depending on the environment we are in...it may not be a big deal...but other times I would rather not be left on the sidelines. How would your wife feel if she looked over and the other lady was also blowing you, or giving you a hand job...or better yet, the other lady attempts to do anything with you...and you tell her no (even when limits are set, sometimes people get caught in the moment)? You may be dealing with hurt feelings and a rather dramatic halt being called to whatever is happening.

Be up front about what you are looking for, people will not fault you for your honesty...but you also need to be prepared that many people will not sit and socialize for an extended period of time if what you are looking for isn't what they are looking for (I'm not saying that people will necessarily be rude)...most couples are ok with adding another lady to the mix...so what if the other wife hops in to help your wife? Reality can veer so far off course of what fantasy is...for what you have stated you are looking for here (you watching your wife give another guy a blow job), it might be less complicated to find a single male.

DigginIt · 02-11-2010, 11:12 AM

I think sexcupid is right on with the advice. If my wife and I are going to a club, we are typically looking for something ourselves. I think you will find it much harder with a couple just for that reason than with a single male.

mikeandjenn2001 · 02-11-2010, 11:29 AM

I guess we're the weird ones

. Yes, while going to a club, we're looking for something for both of us, but should something happen for only one of us, we're fine with that.

It all depends on the couple. Some are fairly open, and some only play as a couple, even for soft swap. There is no right or wrong, it's just what works for them. Just be honest with them on what you are looking for.

DigginIt · 02-11-2010, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeandjenn2001

I guess we're the weird ones

. Yes, while going to a club, we're looking for something for both of us, but should something happen for only one of us, we're fine with that.

Good point. I guess I will add, a lot depends on the frequency that a couple gets out and gets to do things. With us for example, we get one or maybe two swing nights a month on average so we really want what we want.

padoc · 02-11-2010, 03:12 PM

We're VERY curious as to why you'd not want to have some interaction with the female of another couple. We have played with soft swap couples and have found it to be a pleasurable experience for the four of us. If you just want your wife to give someone "a toot" while you watch, why involve a couple or a swing club? There are plenty of guys in bars every weekend who would be "up" for the experience.

Willing29 · 02-11-2010, 03:53 PM

I also have to ask why is it a one sided thing? If there are issues such as jealousy maybe it's time to back off a bit. If not there are many clubs which have specific nights for single guys to attend. That might be your best shot or possibly find a single guy on a site like Swing Lifestyle or something like that and have a MFM. There seems to be lots out there. Either way have fun.

curiousNWcouple · 02-11-2010, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by padoc

We're VERY curious as to why you'd not want to have some interaction with the female of another couple. We have played with soft swap couples and have found it to be a pleasurable experience for the four of us. If you just want your wife to give someone "a toot" while you watch, why involve a couple or a swing club? There are plenty of guys in bars every weekend who would be "up" for the experience.

We have talked about bar vs. swing club and the biggest reason we are more interested in the club is it seems to be a little safer than a bar. From what we have read, swingers are likely to be more discreet, more understanding, and more pleasant to deal with then some random bar-fly. Someone else suggested it, but I suppose we haven't considered there might be singles nights at clubs...

Mr. Curious

PB&J · 02-11-2010, 11:02 PM

Pity you aren't on the east coast... Little Firefly has been discussing in a couple of threads about how she just wants to watch her SO with others... you two couples would be perfect together!

willyoats · 02-12-2010, 09:06 AM

We had one experience like what CURIOUS is asking about. We met another couple at a hotel convention and got along very well. One time the other husband wanted to play with my wife. The other wife was OK with that but didn't want to play with me that particular night. (She had been working their concession booth all day and just wanted to sleep.)

So my wife and her husband went at it on the bed while the other wife and I sat next to each other against the wall opposite the end of the bed holding hands and watching the whole show.

That's a slight variation on the "she gives a blowjob while I watch" theme. Since I sometimes stayed off the bed and enjoyed watching my wife while she was playing with another guy in MFM before I jumped in, it was an interesting alternative to be sitting with the guy's wife while watching.

So CURIOUS, it can work. I wish you luck. It will be worth it if you can make it happen.

little firefly · 02-12-2010, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PB&J

Pity you aren't on the east coast... Little Firefly has been discussing in a couple of threads about how she just wants to watch her SO with others... you two couples would be perfect together!

LMAO!!!! When I saw this thread I was thinking the exact same thing, then I saw your post...Thats just too funny

curiousNWcouple · 02-12-2010, 10:51 AM

Thanks for all the replies! This is just the kind of information we've been hoping to get.

Little Firefly - glad to see we're not alone!

curiousNWcouple

curiousNWcouple · 02-12-2010, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little firefly

LMAO!!!! When I saw this thread I was thinking the exact same thing, then I saw your post...Thats just too funny

Just read through your thread about pretty much the same thing... We haven't made it to a club, or done anything for that matter, but it is comforting to hear there may be like-minded people out there!

curiousNWcouple

little firefly · 02-12-2010, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curiousNWcouple

Just read through your thread about pretty much the same thing... We haven't made it to a club, or done anything for that matter, but it is comforting to hear there may be like-minded people out there!

curiousNWcouple

Oh my....Did you read through that whole thread?? LOL, it seemed to get a lot of attention there for awhile! Yes, it is nice to know that there are like minded people out there. Hopefully that will give you some hope that you can find another couple who have a similar situation as NDN and me. Good luck!!

curiousNWcouple · 02-12-2010, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little firefly

Oh my....Did you read through that whole thread?? LOL, it seemed to get a lot of attention there for awhile! Yes, it is nice to know that there are like minded people out there. Hopefully that will give you some hope that you can find another couple who have a similar situation as NDN and me. Good luck!!

Yep, read the whole thing! Very intersting perspectives. Probably will give Mrs Curious and I a lot to consider before we actually make it to a club. Based on what we've been talking about, she could have had her first experience last weekend, but since I wasn't with her she didn't want to do anything without me.

Mr Curious

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02-11-2010, 12:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
curiousNWcouple Active Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 13 Location: Pacific NW Status: Married Couple	Soft-swap question Hello everyone! Well, our name says it all - we are a curious couple looking for information and possibly some great new experiences in our lives A little while ago, I shared some fantasys with Mrs Curious about watching her giving a blow-job to another guy while I watch. One avenue we have considered is going to a well-known on-premise lifestyle club and testing the waters that way. Of course if it was a single guy we both agreed on there wouldn't be a big issue, but if we meet a couple that we click with, would it be okay to ask that only Mrs Curious and the other guy interact with each other (while I and the other gal just watch)? Would this be an out-of-line request, or does it just depend on the other half? Thanks for any words of wisdom! curiousNWcouple

02-11-2010, 10:37 AM	#2 (permalink)
sexcupid Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,195 Location: San Antonio Status: couple/f Swing Lifestyle Name:sexcupid	Re: Soft-swap question Check the club's website to see if and when single males are allowed to be in attendance. That may be your best bet. As far as if you find a couple that your Mrs. likes the Mr. of....well that really is dependent upon that couple. Sure, you never know until you ask...but many couples tend to play together (even if it is just a soft swap). Personally depending on the environment we are in...it may not be a big deal...but other times I would rather not be left on the sidelines. How would your wife feel if she looked over and the other lady was also blowing you, or giving you a hand job...or better yet, the other lady attempts to do anything with you...and you tell her no (even when limits are set, sometimes people get caught in the moment)? You may be dealing with hurt feelings and a rather dramatic halt being called to whatever is happening. Be up front about what you are looking for, people will not fault you for your honesty...but you also need to be prepared that many people will not sit and socialize for an extended period of time if what you are looking for isn't what they are looking for (I'm not saying that people will necessarily be rude)...most couples are ok with adding another lady to the mix...so what if the other wife hops in to help your wife? Reality can veer so far off course of what fantasy is...for what you have stated you are looking for here (you watching your wife give another guy a blow job), it might be less complicated to find a single male.
	__________________ Maria

02-11-2010, 11:12 AM	#3 (permalink)
DigginIt Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 960 Location: Florida Status: He writes, she corrects spelling. Swing Lifestyle Name:DigginIt	Re: Soft-swap question I think sexcupid is right on with the advice. If my wife and I are going to a club, we are typically looking for something ourselves. I think you will find it much harder with a couple just for that reason than with a single male.

02-11-2010, 11:29 AM	#4 (permalink)
mikeandjenn2001 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 118 Location: Dayton, OH Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mikenjenn2001	Re: Soft-swap question I guess we're the weird ones . Yes, while going to a club, we're looking for something for both of us, but should something happen for only one of us, we're fine with that. It all depends on the couple. Some are fairly open, and some only play as a couple, even for soft swap. There is no right or wrong, it's just what works for them. Just be honest with them on what you are looking for.

02-11-2010, 03:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
padoc Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 155 Location: FT Myers Fl Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:padoc	Re: Soft-swap question We're VERY curious as to why you'd not want to have some interaction with the female of another couple. We have played with soft swap couples and have found it to be a pleasurable experience for the four of us. If you just want your wife to give someone "a toot" while you watch, why involve a couple or a swing club? There are plenty of guys in bars every weekend who would be "up" for the experience.

02-11-2010, 03:53 PM	#7 (permalink)
Willing29 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 322 Location: Central, NJ Status: very happily Married couple	Re: Soft-swap question I also have to ask why is it a one sided thing? If there are issues such as jealousy maybe it's time to back off a bit. If not there are many clubs which have specific nights for single guys to attend. That might be your best shot or possibly find a single guy on a site like Swing Lifestyle or something like that and have a MFM. There seems to be lots out there. Either way have fun.
	__________________ "We are the people our parents warned us about"

02-11-2010, 11:02 PM	#9 (permalink)
PB&J Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,308 Location: Southern Ontario Status: female half of couple	Re: Soft-swap question Pity you aren't on the east coast... Little Firefly has been discussing in a couple of threads about how she just wants to watch her SO with others... you two couples would be perfect together!
	__________________ Who doesn't like a PB&J sandwich?

02-12-2010, 09:06 AM	#10 (permalink)
willyoats Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 437 Location: lady lake, fl	Re: Soft-swap question We had one experience like what CURIOUS is asking about. We met another couple at a hotel convention and got along very well. One time the other husband wanted to play with my wife. The other wife was OK with that but didn't want to play with me that particular night. (She had been working their concession booth all day and just wanted to sleep.) So my wife and her husband went at it on the bed while the other wife and I sat next to each other against the wall opposite the end of the bed holding hands and watching the whole show. That's a slight variation on the "she gives a blowjob while I watch" theme. Since I sometimes stayed off the bed and enjoyed watching my wife while she was playing with another guy in MFM before I jumped in, it was an interesting alternative to be sitting with the guy's wife while watching. So CURIOUS, it can work. I wish you luck. It will be worth it if you can make it happen.

02-12-2010, 10:51 AM	#12 (permalink)
curiousNWcouple Active Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 13 Location: Pacific NW Status: Married Couple	Re: Soft-swap question Thanks for all the replies! This is just the kind of information we've been hoping to get. Little Firefly - glad to see we're not alone! curiousNWcouple

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