Jealousy issues and over coming them.

[Obliquity]

First off, neither hubby or I have started swinging just yet. Mostly because of me being 4 months pregnant. But I have a question.

I've talk alot about it with my husband and he has agreed not to do anything until I am comfortable with it.

But my thing is, when I think of swinging I think, "Hey this could be fun!" but at the same time I don't like the idea about my hubby with another woman. I do have a little body image issue, but I am getting over that since talking with others and having people tell me how good I look for having baby number 3.

We (hubby and I) have talked about this issue, but I worry that it might control swinging and all together stop it before it happens.

I've started a plan which is until baby is born some soft swinging, same room same couples sorta thing. And hopefully I will become better about this issue.

I'm just wondering if this is normal when you first start out.

The weird part is I don't know why I feel this way. Hubby is fine waiting, and wont push me to do something I am not happy about. But just the thought and I get uneasy. Is this maybe just jitters?

Thanks for any advice or stories.
Mrs. O

[ncmd_couple]

Mrs. O,

It is very common to feel what you feel. After all, with two kids and one on the way, there is that nagging thought of, "what if this screws everything up?" in the back of your mind. The key is that if you and your husband can talk openly and honestly together. Then you really know the answer to that questions in advance. Do a lot of reading here.

S

[DigginIt]

Originally Posted by ncmd_couple

Mrs. O,

It is very common to feel what you feel. After all, with two kids and one on the way, there is that nagging thought of, "what if this screws everything up?" in the back of your mind. The key is that if you and your husband can talk openly and honestly together. Then you really know the answer to that questions in advance. Do a lot of reading here.

I think that talking is the key to successful swinging. As far as jealousy, there is no real way to know how you are going to feel until that moment actually comes. I just said this in another post but if you really, really love and trust your husband, you have to believe that he really, really loves and trusts you in return.

Swinging is about the two of you sharing something new together and that as long as you both completely trust each other and understand that it has nothing to do with love, I think you two will be okay with it.

I wish you two the best. Keep reading these forums, keep asking each other questions about what you want out of the lifestyle and take it slow. There is no rush. It's not a race so go at your own pace.

[Obliquity]

Thank you both of you. I felt that I should ask others who have been there and done that. I plan on showing Mr. O some of the things I have found on here that seem very interesting and that he should read.

I agree talking is something that should be done in any kind of relationship. I've been talking with him about how I feel and he's been very understanding. I've also been talking one on one with a gal who has done this. She lives 5 mins from my house, and used to have the same feelings. Its nice to hear what other people think and what has happened to them.

[Gordo]

Originally Posted by Obliquity

I've started a plan which is until baby is born some soft swinging, same room same couples sorta thing. Mrs. O

Great idea to start slow. Jealousy can show up at the most unexpected moment and sometimes for the most trivial reasons. It's better to have it surface over something in soft swinging than once you've crossed over. There's a whole lot less to forget!

[Obliquity]

Great advice Gordo.

[Edison Carter]

Susan here-- This may not be politically correct to say, yet please keep in mind that during pregnancy your hormones are 'all over the place'. You can have extreme emotions that may not normally occur and they can include, yet not limited to both jealousy and lust. Just a FYI.

[Obliquity]

Susan,
That is very true and I very much agree.

[xxxboxy]

Originally Posted by Edison Carter

Susan here-- This may not be politically correct to say, yet please keep in mind that during pregnancy your hormones are 'all over the place'. You can have extreme emotions that may not normally occur and they can include, yet not limited to both jealousy and lust. Just a FYI.

The cycle in my house was; crazy for three months, calm yet focused on getting everything baby ready for three months, then crazy for three months....

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by xxxboxy

The cycle in my house was; crazy for three months, calm yet focused on getting everything baby ready for three months, then crazy for three months....

...followed by three++++ months of bedlam, short nights, lack of sex, etc.

Don't get me wrong; I love kids. I'm just saying that once the pregnancy is over, it's not everything-back-to-normal.

[xxxboxy]

No, no it's not. One has to recalibrate "normal" once the kids are on site. I love mine and wouldn't change a single thing about them but talk about a life changing event....

[mikeswinger56]

My wife also does not like other girls ,with me or her . So now we have only mfm with str8 guys. For this to work you have to absolutely love and trust each other . Going on 5 years and still have no jealousy issues.

[mcouple40]

i know this question doesn't directly go with jealousy ,, but the wife and i are brand new and in the begining of setting up our first mfm,, do you find it good for the two of them to exchange txts to get to know one another?

[mikeswinger56]

If you want to do the mfm thing you must set it up and be the contact . The two of you are the directors , and ultimately the boss.