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| Curious About Swinging? This forum is for QUESTIONS from those who are BRAND NEW to the scene with NO EXPERIENCE. If you've been there/done it then help the newbies get answers, but post your questions to the General Swingers forum. |
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#1 (permalink)
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| Here to Stay Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 12 Location: washington Status: couple
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So we have met another couple, and set up our first night of play. Because this is our first time we have set out our rules, and the other couple is cool with going at our pace. We are getting a hotel room with two queen beds and plan on simply watching each other have sex. Keeping it light for our first time. My question is what do you do when the playing is over? Going into it we will be horny and ready to get naked and have fun, but once all the orgasms are done, what do you do? I just imagine that I will feel like we or they should leave. Kind of thanks that was great, see you next time. Any advice or just what happened after your first time would be greatly appreciated. |
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| | #3 (permalink) |
| Julie's Helper Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,002 Location: Biloxi, Mississippi Status: Couple with benefits and retired Swing Lifestyle Name:graceful
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Do what you always do, roll over and go to sleep? I would shower and relax depending if they are done. If not be quiet and let them finish. Go with the flow. If they are playing and your are done they are in charge and vice versa. If they are quiet go with it, if they want to talk and fuck, go with it. I was at a party and a lady friend of mine was getting oral sex from another lady on the public couch. I stood next to them watching and eating popcorn. My lady friend still laughs about that to this day. I didn't do any commenting just eating. It was the flow of the moment. |
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__________________ Live in the moment before they are gone. | |
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| | #4 (permalink) | |
| Veni, Vidi, Veni!!!! | Quote:
I was going to say the very same thing! When we play with our friends, we generally sit back, have some refreshments and chat for a bit. Shortly there after, we strat up with round two! If all goes well, we rinse and repeat! | |
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__________________ Veni, Vidi, Veni!!! | ||
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| | #5 (permalink) |
| Tastes Great Less Filling Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 1,467 Location: Los Angeles Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:Secret_Asian_Man
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According to the instructions on the bottle... Lather, rinse, repeat. |
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__________________ Have some... you'll want some more an hour later | |
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| | #6 (permalink) | ||
| I'll think about it Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 10,099 Location: With Wild Things Status: Married Female
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Did you discuss who it is that will pay for the room, or if you are splitting the cost, or who (if anyone) is staying in the room overnight? These are all things we discuss and decide on before heading out to play at a hotel. We never stay overnight in a play room unless we have it to ourselves. We like private time after playing. This gives my husband and me time to talk about the swing experience. Whether things went perfect, or a little odd, or something bothered one of us, we want to discuss it right after playing while it's fresh on our minds. You can't really do that if you spend the whole night in the hotel room with your play couple. Since this is your first time with this couple, I recommend not sleeping in the same room. Quote:
Some play can be fast and exhausting. An hour and you're worn out and ready to call it a night. Other times you go at an easy pace, enjoy the jacuzzi in your room, have sex, take a shower, take a break to chat, go at it again, order take out, brush your teeth, play some more, before you know it it's 3:00 a.m. You'll get a sense of when to put a close on the evening. But it's best to know who is expected to walk out the room...will it be you? because you're going home or headed to your own room; or will it be them? because they're headed home or to their own room. LM | ||
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| | #7 (permalink) |
| Veni, Vidi, Veni!!!! |
What to do? What to Do? Like Minds You raise a very good point regarding the room. I am one to take on the cost of the room for three reasons. 1. I dont like to deal with the odd discussion of who pays. It is easier this way. 2. In the event that the evening goes well and everyone has had fun, been sated and happy, some people dont get the hint that the evening is over. In this case, I simply tell them that we must retire for the evening and are happy to leave them the room! (This has only happened to us once) 3. If things go wrong (Never happened yet) we can just bolt and not have to worry about a thing! |
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__________________ Veni, Vidi, Veni!!! | |
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| | #8 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 806 Location: North Central Florida Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:putnamcocpl
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Hmm... Great , Straight Forward question... And Answers that are both straight to the point and all over the place, lol To be honest, LARGENLOVINIT It really depends on you and your lovely, and what you want to do, or are ready to do.. Has the discussion between yourself and this other couples ventured into the realm of what happens next? Have you considered the possiblity of after the first round, interacting with the other couple? One idea that springs to mind right off the bat, rather than seperate beds.. Go for it side by side... on the same bed.. Yes you are each with respective playmates, but it also allows for a wandering hand here or there.. Honestly, its actually impossible for any of us to tell you because we have no idea how either of you feel, afterwards.. Its quite possible to feel "saited" but still have a hunger.. so to speak.. In any case discuss it with your loved one and see what you both think.. If it feels weird, call it a night, and graciously make your exit.. If it drives you both wild, Go For It.. |
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__________________ Reality Checks written Upon Request | |
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| | #9 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 960 Location: Florida Status: He writes, she corrects spelling. Swing Lifestyle Name:DigginIt
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Nothing really new here but I think a lot depends on the connection you make with this couple. You stated that they are willing to go your pace so this sounds like a step 1 of several steps you intend to make. To me, that implies that you probably have a good line of communication with that couple. Hopefully this is because you feel relaxed around them. Many things will work themselves out naturally. Don't over analyze and take it easy and do not put too many expectations on yourself or them. You are there to have fun so keep it fun. Fill any awkwardness, with reassurance, like this was really great, you two made us feel really comfortable. I think a few compliments go a long way (genuine compliments). You two were very sexy, etc. If it doesn't go the way you expect then just be honest. Gives you something to play for on the second date. My personal opinion, I think watching each other is more difficult than the four of you on the same bed. Yes, it will be hot and sexy but there is a lot of pressure to perform and you are already in a new situation where you are unfamiliar. Performance anxiety is something to consider. I do applaud you for taking this step. Best of luck and please come back and tell us how it went. |
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| | #10 (permalink) |
| Here to Stay Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 12 Location: washington Status: couple
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Hey thanks everybody for your responses. I thought I would answer a couple questions that were asked. 1. we are paying for the hotel room as our house is ALWAYS a no go for hosting. 2. We will all be sleeping in the room, I never really thought of getting a second room. I think I will look into getting two adjoining rooms that way should we want to leave the option is available. 3. The separate bed playing is something that is going to stay at least for our first time. It is what I personally feel comfortable with starting out at. We feel like if one person should feel like they didn't enjoy it or should have any concern then we can walk away with out anybody have done anything. So that is the idea behind that. Now that being said, we are totally open to some light swapping later that night, just after the first go round. Also it was brought up that their might be some performance issues. We are bit of exhibitionists so I don't think that will be a problem, and the other couple have had sex in front of other people several times so no biggy there. |
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| | #11 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 960 Location: Florida Status: He writes, she corrects spelling. Swing Lifestyle Name:DigginIt
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Yea, the performance issue was really just a little stroll down memory lane for me. We all have fun talking about it now but at the time it wasn't quite as funny (for me that is, they seemed to have a grand time at my expense, lol). Good thing that couple became our regulars ![]() We had all started off with the oral foreplay and I really was getting into it and by the time I was coming up for the actual intercourse, my wife and the other man were well into screwing. They were like energizer bunnies bouncing all around the bed. We (me and the other woman) were laughing (in a good way) because it was so fun to watch but at the same time it was so distracting that I hit that downward spiral. We had a lot of fun but I had not been ready for that much distraction. Now it's nothing that a little Cialis can't resolve. Not sure if that is a subject across these boards. I haven't run across it yet but that stuff has to be made for this lifestyle. Highly recommend it ![]() We are excited for you and look forward to your 'after' story. |
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| | #12 (permalink) | |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 168 Location: Pittsburgh Status: Male of a couple Swing Lifestyle Name:Powerglide1A
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| | #13 (permalink) |
| Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard
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Every situation is different. The more you over-think it now (or later) the more awkward you will make it (much like the entire act of swinging). Just go with the flow and have fun, sometimes a round 2 or three ensues, sometimes someone jumps up and throws their clothes and heads out the door... sometimes someone decides they want a shower and then god only knows what happens from there, sometimes you lay on your respective beds all cuddles up and just have a conversation. It just depends on the people involved and how they feel at that moment.
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| | #14 (permalink) |
| Julie's Helper Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 4,679 Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Status: a very married man Swing Lifestyle Name:SW_PA_Couple
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__________________ Living in Schrödinger's Cathouse | |
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| | #15 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 168 Location: LA Status: Happily Married Couple
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We agree. Go with the flow and feel out the situation. Mr Shy tries not to finish or finish too soon. So far so good on that one. Either the guys finish close together or take a break at the same time after the girls are worn out. Afterward feel out the vibe. This would largely depend on how much everyone has had to drink and who has the overnight right to the room. We usually get to a stopping point, cuddle, caress, and chat a bit before washing up and getting dressed. Whether we have been the hosts or the guests, this is how it worked out for us. Usually about 30 minutes from finish to exit. Play it by ear and you or your guest will know when its time to go. |
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