What if he has a much larger penis than me?

[tmayou]

I would like my wife to have have sex with another man. my concern is that what if he has a much larger penis then me and she enjoys it more than mine.
And if so how would that affect us.

[Edison Carter]

Susan here-- Well, how would a woman with a tighter pussy affect you ?

Odds are it's just a nice treat, if size does make a difference to her, but is no replacement for a lover that you are in love with.

You're worried about the wrong stuff. Besides, what does she have to say about this ? If you cannot communicate about this, Swinging may not be for you.

[CXXC]

There is absolutely no way of knowing how ANY man being with your wife will affect you! The only way to know that is through personal experience.

Regarding a larger penis:
Truly, you should be happy for her! Remember, you have both given each other the gift or eros. Sex with another is not an emotional tie but a physical pleasure you get to share and share again! If she happens to find a man who is better endowed than yourself, she has multiple orgasms and truly enjoys the activity, you have actually made her that much more happy in this life. That should be your greatest concern.

You will feel what you feel no matter what happens. Right now, you need to communicate with each other, discuss the potential fears you both have and, before you take one step forward, be open and honest with both of your desires and thoughts.

If you are so frightened of her being with a man with a larger penis, you may actually have deeper issues to consider.

Talk it out. Be open and honest! Communicate!!!!!

[LikeMinds321]

Hi and Welcome!

Your concern is not uncommon to men who are contemplating swinging. If you and your wife decide to swing you will undoubtedly come upon men who are larger - and even smaller - than you. Your wife may find that a larger penis does give her a pleasure that she does not experience with you, or she may find it uncomfortable. You won't know until she has the experience, but the important thing to remember is variety is one of the main reasons swingers seek out sex with others. Variety is fun and you both should want each other to enjoy exploring new sexual pleasures with people.

A secure couple should not fear losing their spouse to a playmate that provides them with something different or even better, sexually speaking. Swinging is about recreational sex, at least I think it should be. If you continue to feel that including others in your bedroom would threaten your marriage, you're not meant for swinging.

I don't know how you and your wife would be affected by her having sex with a playmate who has a bigger penis. Talking about this kind of "what if" before you begin to swing would be something you and your wife need to do.

Most important though, FIRST you need to find out if your wife has any interest in swinging. Have you brought the topic of swinging up?

LM

[xxxboxy]

What if he's smarter? What if he's stronger? What if he's richer? What if he's funnier? What if he has more stamina? What if he's more skilled? What if an asteroid crashes through the roof? What if the world really does come to an end in 2012?

[starryeyes]

Originally Posted by xxxboxy

What if he's smarter? What if he's stronger? What if he's richer? What if he's funnier? What if he has more stamina? What if he's more skilled? What if an asteroid crashes through the roof? What if the world really does come to an end in 2012?

Very well put.....

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by tmayou

I would like my wife to have have sex with another man. my concern is that what if he has a much larger penis then me and she enjoys it more than mine.
And if so how would that affect us.

It doesn't matter... I've pretty much accepted the fact that I'm NOT going to be the most "well endowed" partner that they've ever experienced. But I *know* that she's ALWAYS going to be going home with me.

If y'all are really THIS insecure ... I think there needs to be a lot more talking & reassurance & trust between y'all before you start playing with others.

[Additude]

What if he doesn't have a bigger Johnson and your wife still likes him more?

Chances are, your wife didn't marry a "dick" and she likes having a marriage with fringe benefits better. Cause that's like like having your cake and getting to eat it too!

I wouldn't worry about it. If I was you I'd be thinking more along the lines of feeling happy that your wife is having such a great time with this guys cock, not being worried that she might like his cock more than yours.

[lovinher]

Questions like this are normal for somebody just beginning to think about swinging. I think some of these posts were too harsh and condescending. People come here to learn things and alleviate their petty fears or insecurities. Most of us had them at some point.

tamyou, Likeminds gave good advice. I would suggest you keep reading the threads before you go to your wife. You will find out in time if you can get over your concerns.
This should be about sexual pleasure as a couple, for you AND your wife. So if a bigger dick does that then you should be glad for her. Do you want to do this and have her not have a great time?

Good luck and don't be afraid to ask questions, any question.

BTW-welcome to the SB.

[vanillaknot]

my concern is that what if he has a much larger penis then me

To echo others (semantically, if not literally), you worry about the wrong things.

Ten days ago, we played at our club with a very nice woman, S, who nonetheless developed an inferiority complex about her bust size, when compared to MrsVK, who is as busty as any woman you will ever meet in the normal world. I told S then, several times, that she worries about the wrong things. Women as a class worry about a huge number of the wrong things. "I'm too fat" "My curls will come down in the hot tub room" "I can't dance well" "This dress isn't fashionable enough"...

But men do so, too. Worry about penis size is right at the bottom of the list of things with which to concern yourself. If you really are concerned about it, STOP, DO NOT PASS GO, and do not attend any swing event, because you are shining a bright, gigantic red light whose luminescence is rated at approximately 23.7 million candlepower.

Sooner or later, every single man except one will encounter someone more largely endowed than himself. Do you seriously think this is consequential? Is your woman so shallow as to think that this is the definitive qualifier in a lover? Come on.

Seriously, if you think cock size is the leading question of importance, you have much re-thinking to do.

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by tmayou

I would like my wife to have have sex with another man. my concern is that what if he has a much larger penis then me and she enjoys it more than mine.

Celebrate your [wife's] good fortune. If he really pleases her in bed, fantastic! Try to keep him around for as long as your wife wants, for as many repeat opportunities with your wife as she wants.

Originally Posted by tmayou

And if so how would that affect us.

Lots of smiles?


If you're honestly worried about negative effects of another man having a bigger penis than you, I'll readily agree with what everyone has said above. You're not ready to swing.

My wife and I have been swinging for a bit over a year now. Of the several men she has had sex with in that time, only one was as thick/long as I am (average length, above average girth). The others have not been noticeably longer, and definitely not as thick. I am disappointed for my wife. I would love it if she found a man with a very large penis, one just barely small enough to get in her without pain, and a man with great talents attached to it. "Thanks John! As you can tell, my wife really enjoyed that! Can you come back Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, ..."

[sahajacpl]

Originally Posted by lovinher

Questions like this are normal for somebody just beginning to think about swinging. I think some of these posts were too harsh and condescending.
tamyou, Likeminds gave good advice. I would suggest you keep reading the threads before you go to your wife. You will find out in time if you can get over your concerns.
This should be about sexual pleasure as a couple, for you AND your wife. So if a bigger dick does that then you should be glad for her. Do you want to do this and have her not have a great time?

We fully agree with this advise from lovinher.

Provided the two of you have discussed swinging between the two of you, and have a secure marriage, the size of the guy's penis or the tightness of the other woman's pussy, should be the least of your concerns. When the guy with a penis larger than your's, fucks your wife and she enjoys experiencing intercourse with him, you should be happy for her. Let her have the time of her life. And, you will be thrilled to watch your wife have orgasms as the two of them fuck.That's what swinging as a couple, and, exchanging mates for play followed by sexual intercourse is all about.

Welcome to the Board and happy swinging for you and your wife.

[Chicup]

You know to play devils advocate in this thread.

If I had a well below average Mr. Happy, and my wife had never had another man, I'd be rather leery of swinging where she would start to know what shes missing.

Mrs. Chicup once played with a man with a well below average penis and while she has never been a size queen, in fact anything over 7" is mostly going to hurt, she was rather unsatisfied with his size.

So while normally the size question is kinda silly insecurity, I could see situations where there may be some validity.

[it'sso]

Originally Posted by Chicup

You know to play devils advocate in this thread.

If I had a well below average Mr. Happy, and my wife had never had another man, I'd be rather leery of swinging where she would start to know what shes missing.

Mrs. Chicup once played with a man with a well below average penis and while she has never been a size queen, in fact anything over 7" is mostly going to hurt, she was rather unsatisfied with his size.

So while normally the size question is kinda silly insecurity, I could see situations where there may be some validity.

Yours is the voice of reason. I have always felt that size isn't of so much importance unless a man has been saddled with less than average size.
If a guy is considerably larger than average, he can always find a way to keep from causing pain with intercourse so long as he is smaller in circumference than quart sized wine bottle. If he is at the other extreme and his lady is satisfied with it, he is asking for trouble in his relationship if he starts passing her around to the the bigger guys.

[Suncouple]

What if he has a Ferrari?

Anyway ... I know what you mean.

If you want to find out you could order a nice, large toy and experiment at home to see how she likes it!

Amazon.com: California Exotics Love Vibes, Big Boy Lover, 9": Health & Personal Care

So ... if she doesn't like it you only have everything else to worry about.

If she does ... well ...? Then what?

I think you can both have some fun experimenting, though!