not sure where to start

[rockyannie]

Me and my husband have in the past got together with another guy or another girl but have yet to find a couple we are comfortable with. I got online and found this site but still am a little awkward knowing where to start I'd like to get a relaitionship going with a good couple who are as dedicated to each other as we are and not wierd about soft or if the situation moves to full swap. Please give us some advice
???

[LFM2]

Hi rockyannie, and to the Swingers Board!

It sure does seem to be a lot easier to hook up with just one more person than two, doesn't it? Sometimes, some couples hit it right off, and other times, it seems like it takes forever for all four people to really click. The best advice I can give you is it takes patience.

It can start with a good profile. If your profile is as honest as it can be for you two, you can start writing others whose profiles are just as well written. Be sure to state exactly what and who you're both looking for. Let them know exactly what you're both looking for.

Even then, you might find a few flakes, but hopefully, you'll find a couple with just as much devotion to each other as you two seem to have. Good Luck!!

[SecretAsianMan]

Getting started is always tough... sometimes a couple will go to local clubs and just hang out for a while (then play only with each other) ... then escalate to a threesome or soft-swap scenario before they move on to a full-swap.

Finding the right people is one of the hardest things to do. It takes a LOT of hunting around and getting the right "feel" for a new partner the first time around.

(Others just jump in with both feet and just go for it)

It's going to be different for each person. Don't be afraid to take it slow. Talk about it with your partner and keep your discussions open and honest about what you each want and what each of you are going to be comfortable with.

Be safe. Be honest. Have a good time.

Good luck to y'all.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Let me add my WELCOME to you. You are on the right course by measuring prospective couples against your own standard of being completely dedicated to each other. Be assure. There are others out there. You only need to give it some time and not become discouraged.

~Michael

[JustAskJulie]

As LFM said, it's always harder to find a situation where all 4 people in a couple mesh together, even harder if you are looking for a long term situation, as it sounds that you are, as that's not something that all swingers are into (then again ALL swingers are never into the same things...lol). Just be clear about what you are looking for when you seek out those couples. Unfortunately, you will probably find some who will tell you they want what you want but really just want a good time. The type of relationship you are looking for is like developing a friendship, it takes time and patience and a lot of work, and you'll make a lot of acquaintances in the meantime.

[exploringRM]

On a positive note, we have about 8 couples where we have become friends and interact on both a social level and a play level. And there's a good bit more on top of that with couples that we have gotten to know, but no playtime (yet or perhaps never). For our playmates, some we see often, others not so often..schedules and distance play a big factor there.

So it's not impossible to find friends and playmates in this. Obviously we are not into any type of exclusive relationship, that's not what we are looking for.

[ratimadan]

Welcome to the Swingersboard, the best source of information and advise on swinging for vetereans as well as the newbies.

Have patience and you are bound to find couples who you like and will want to swap mates for play, socializing and sexual intercourse.

RM

[realcplub2]

First off, Welcome Aboard, The Board

Next, yours is a common question, but the answer, can only be offered by you both. We here can offer advice, suggest, and give opinion, to help yyou along toward those answers.

The first thing, is to come up with some simple variables .. Age range, race, and what the other people are into, versus what you are into/looking for.

You and your Husband, are the ones that take that the next logical steps. Forming a friendship within the lifestyle, is what so many are looking for as well. Sure there are those that say they arent and still more that truly arent, but when the pieces fall into place, it can be great.

One thing though to bear in mind the comfort levels are the one thing that make playing easier. Extending that out further, into the vanilla life can cause complications.

We speak from experience, we formed a nice friendship, and over the course of 8 months, had some great times in and out of the bedrooms, shared holidays together, and even a few extended family events. When it fell aprt it was both disturbing and a bit devastating. They were experiencing problems, and a bit of jealousy on both parts, toward us was fostered, but truly unfounded. Accusations flew of supposed meetings and "dates" in private without the knowledge of the other.. and again totally unfounded, led to them breaking off our freindship and litteraly moving away.

We have had a few other couples we are freinds with within the lifestyle. It can work, but the key is to form a trust first.

Finding vanilla connections helps a great deal. Being able to talk about kids, hobbies, games, whatever also helps it they have the same in common.

Hope this helps.. talk it over between you both and decide, what you would want in a FRIEND, and maybe you can find someone that embodies both ideals

[fun4Ds]

What kind of people have you came across using the personals ad sites ?

If you haven't, you should take a look. It shows not only who you meet as potential playmates for a meeting, but also those you would find at a club.

We use Swinglifestyle, and the new Swingerszonecentral.

Take a look, perv a few..... Some are friendly, some are doable.

[trekal]

We have found that attending a social dance party like the one they have at Club Climax was a great way to start and talk to other couples who are real! We have also attended meet n greets at nutural locations.

[lv2prty]

my hubby andi also have a hard time finding couples that we both like. seems it becomes easier when we attend functions that last at least a couple of days such as conventions or lifestyle friendly resorts because you can just hang out with people at the bar and just have fun conversation first. we seem to hook up with more couples at hedo than any place else. maybe because people are in thier vacation mode and /or booze makes people look better. ha ha. just a note seem like conventions sometimes pulls people that are not swingers at all. many just like the sexually charged atmosphere.