Is she ready?

[swingerooz1]

Hi,
My wife Kay is a fantastic blonde with a great figure, 38" tits a tight bum
Throughout our marriage men have turned their heads to look at her,we have travelled a lot in the forces but before that I realised she attracted all the males, I came home one day from work and she said that my best mates Father had called and wanted to fuck her, she said she refused and didn't let me confront him. In Germany we had a lot of youth visit us and Kay used to flash her tits and legs whenever she could,I once walked in after being to the pub and found her sitting on a youths knee, she told me nothing was going on.Later we went to visit some friends who lived opposite a pub, we let our two children in bed at our friends house and we all went over to the pub, after about an hour Kay and our friend Maurice said they would go over and check the children, after about one and a half hours Maurice's wife Val said we should go over to see what they was up to,but they came through the door of the pub minutes later.
Back home in the UK a neighbour or ours flashed his 9" through his bedroom window and the next day knocked on the door and asked her for a shag, I asked her if she had flashed him back and she said no.
When we moved house we became friends with a couple in the same street, it wasn't long before Jim was getting horney around Kay when his wife was not there. When he danced with her she said she could feel is hard on pressing into her tummy, he used to shiver and sweat, she said he smelt nice and was very clean, at this point I told them both if they wished to shag they could go ahead but I must be present. Jim was up for it and Kay tells me nothing happens
Not long after that Kay started to grow her pubic hair long and also the hair under her arms, asking her why she said Jim liked it that way
I have never seen them shag but he always calls when I am at work
I would love to see my wife serviced by another man
How can I make this happen as we are in our fourties now and I want it to happen before we loose our figures, do you think this is the right time and will she go for it? Although she tells me nothing happened with the other guys thoughout our marriage, many times if she had taken up the invites that she could have done so. I really don't mind Kay getting it off with other males so long as I am present. Do you think she has already or do you think I am wrong? What would you do?
Please give advice

[ncmd_couple]

Well, several things jump out at me in your post.

You have said that “youths” were hanging around your house and that you once caught your wife sitting on a “youth’s” knee. I don’t know what age you are talking about, but that indicates possible sexual activity with an underage child which is illegal here in the States, and I would assume it is also illegal in the country(s) where this occurred. Such activity is NOT condoned in the swinger community, and such discussions will cause you to catch a lot of flack from swingers, if not the law.

As for your wife’s current activities, she is cheating on you, you know it, yet she has violated your rules that you be present, yet you let it continue.

Just about everything you have talked about is not swinging, does not indicate she, or you, are “ready” to enter swinging. It is talking about possible illegal sexual activities with a minor and cheating. All of which will not be condoned by anyone on this board that I know of.

[swingerooz1]

Originally Posted by ncmd_couple

Well, several things jump out at me in your post.

You have said that “youths” were hanging around your house and that you once caught your wife sitting on a “youth’s” knee. I don’t know what age you are talking about, but that indicates possible sexual activity with an underage child which is illegal here in the States, and I would assume it is also illegal in the country(s) where this occurred. Such activity is NOT condoned in the swinger community, and such discussions will cause you to catch a lot of flack from swingers, if not the law.

As for your wife’s current activities, she is cheating on you, you know it, yet she has violated your rules that you be present, yet you let it continue.

Just about everything you have talked about is not swinging, does not indicate she, or you, are “ready” to enter swinging. It is talking about possible illegal sexual activities with a minor and cheating. All of which will not be condoned by anyone on this board that I know of.

No the youths were of national service age 18 years and above

[swingerooz1]

the youths in question were 18 yrs and above

[ncmd_couple]

That is good to hear anyway... I'm glad you cleared that up!

S

[bbarnsworth]

Echo ncmd_couple. She's cheating on you. You know it, and it is blatantly transparent.

Look, swinging isn't about cheating. It isn't about dishonesty. It isn't about doing something behind your spouse's back. It isn't about breaking your spouses rules.

None of what you describe is even remotely like swinging. At all. In any respect. It's just your wife having sex with other people behind your back, treating you like shit, and expecting you to believe her when she tells you nothing is going on. No she isn't ready to swing. She's not even ready to maintain a stable relationship!

I'm not suggesting divorce, but the two of you need a serious, honest, open, 1 on 1 discussion with each other.

Some people seriously get off on cheating on their spouses, or being in scenarios that feel like cheating. I suspect your wife is such a person. That's a guess. But, it fits. She knows you're ok with her having sex with other people, so it's maybe "no big deal" to her that she's having sex with other people. But, it's a huge deal because she's lying to you.

I don't care how many people my wife has sex with. I love it. I want her to be sexually actualized, and enjoy as much sex from whatever source. But, I expect to be in the know about what is going on. We walk together in swinging, not apart. That doesn't mean we're incapable of playing solo. It does mean we're a team.

Your wife isn't playing as part of a team. You're just the not-so-unsuspecting rube.

[xxxboxy]

+1

Great answer.

[slevin]

Already rated the guys with great answers here recently so I will just say I agree completely. She is cheating on you; she has been cheating on you all along.

[JustAskJulie]

Before you consider if she's ready I see two major red flags in your post.... well probably just one, but at least one.

Either she's lying to you or you don't trust her (possibly both) based on your posting of several incidents where she says nothing happened but it's obvious in your post that you believe something did.

Second, you don't have the communication level to consider swinging. At this point there is still much for you two to talk about and learn about each other. Until the first issue is resolved I would not believe that this second one is resolved to the point of being ready to swing.

it's not about whether SHE"s ready to swing, it's about whether you as a couple are ready and you are not.

[CuriousOKCpl]

My wife and I are not swingers yet, so I can't help you there, but I echo what everyone else has said here. Your wife is cheating, and you know it. Cheating is not swinging, it is something totally different. I have cheated in the past and though mine wasn't as blatant as your wife's appears to be, my wife did suspect and in some way "knew" what was going on. Ultimately there is no way to justify cheating in a marriage. Its an act that will can and will destroy a relationship. My wife and I have discussed swinging on several occasions and though neither one of us approve of cheating and that is all behind us in the past, we do not even view the acts in the same light at all. Swinging, should we ever do it, is something that will enhance our relationship through sexual experience. Personally, I feel you need to address the cheating issue before you even think about anything related to swinging.

[rebalrevles]

Hmm pretty obvious to me she is not interested in swinging but actually chuck holding you.

[lovinher]

[ArousedInterest]

You are being played by your wife and have been for a long while it sounds like. They say "Love is blind", unfortunately it just sounds like your not blind about her cheating. You have just stuck your head in the sand about it, because you are enjoying the fact she does it to you. Me and my wife are new to swinging, but even so I can see neither one of you are ready for the communication it takes to be successful swingers.

[realcplub2]

Ok, folks, enough of over stating the obvious.

The best suggestion we can offer is, as was stated, you both need to sit down and open up to each other, HONESTLY. The OP is one or two steps away from being in a cuckold relationship without knowing it, or worse seeing it.

Swinging, for you both, is completely different than what has been going on, its all about SHARING experiences, If not together, then telling the tale afterwards. She hasnt been, instead telling you nothing happend. ( Did you ask her how JIm would know the length of her PUBIC HAIR, if nothing was going on? )

It is possible to reverse the course that you have been headed on, But only if, you BOTH are willing. Browse this site a bit deeper and see what parts of swinging and the lifestyle appeal to you, BEFORE you have the talk with her, so you are sure what it is really all about.