How do you approach a single woman "Unicorn" ?

[fun4Ds]

I can appreciate what your saying....

I'm in a really good mood today. (laughing a little) You called me 4D, some have called me many things but 4D's has a bling bling feeling or something to it. Thank you, UC.

I could tell you we have pretty much been dating "unicorns" exclusively, for going on some time now. I don't talk about it much though... People take it the wrong way. It's not that we don't want other males involved like Mrs UC though... Today, Mrsfun could tell me she wants me and mr playmate or another couple, and it would be happening. I could do the same also, anytime.

Kind of strange I suppose.....

We found out so many things we weren't expecting about each other in the beginning. I /we dont know if we have any good advice, but we could share our ideas and experiance any time, if that would help.

I think I should point out, we don't chase unicorns although we can appreciate the idea as a concept.

We think you will understand that after you get out and meet some people in the lifestyle. People refering to unicorns as mythical, seems absurd to us, it always has.

Maybe there is something to that......

We can't convince anyone, our way of thinking is the only way. But, it is our way of thinking that gave our playmates a reason to want to be with us.

We hope you really find what you are looking for.... It is attainable

[UnicornChasers]

Any and all advice you'd like to impart we would love to read.

We know it's attainable, as I said we have "fans" in a few places but not near us. It's just that when I read the term unicorn on some website or another it stuck with me, probably because both my wife and I are into Fantasy. The whole mythical creature aspect plus the idea of a quest to find the mythical creature kinda stuck with me. So UnicornChasers as a handle was born.

But please anything you'd like to share we'd like to know. You can either keep it here or bring it to PM's.

Thanks again.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by UnicornChasers

We know it's attainable, as I said we have "fans" in a few places but not near us.

Don't leave that out, others are telling you not to lower your chances. I agree with that, just be carefull .

It's just that when I read the term unicorn on some website or another it stuck with me, probably because both my wife and I are into Fantasy.

Boy, I know how that feels. We love it ! When it comes to fantasies we got some doozies. But what your after is reality... and what that leads to is hopefully, good memories. Together as a couple, with some one special. I don't know if that's a good idea, but I think its pretty cool idea.

It seems like your following a protocol or something... Thats OK, we did too. There is a certain protocol in the lifestyle. Stick with it, for now. Work on some invites.....

Its almost like your not thinking about the woman you want to be involved with. I think your selling yourself short in your profile, I think you have a very special wife, like mine. I can tell you this, my wife is the key to everything. She has taken me to some places with her ideas.... and fantasy.

I think you guys are allot more than your profile. I think you have something special going on. I'm not the one your looking for though. Thats why instead I think you should choose or at least be thinking of a personality. I mean what do you want ? Its seems you would settle for anything. That doesn't look good on the resume.

Big secrete about Unicorns is, they change into a special person when you meet them. Real person....

Special title, special person..... Not so mythical anymore.

What type of person are you looking for ? Do you want a long term friendship, a one night stand, whips and chains ? Been there done that.

We prefer just dating a woman together.

1 Unicorn cant be every fantasy, a girls only human ya know. I know you enjoyed that night at the stripper club and it gets me hot just reading that part. But are you looking for a stripper ?

Find the right unicorn, and she might, want to go to the stripper club with ya. Just to hang out with you. See what I mean....

Don't get me wrong, we do know some strippers, I'm just saying..

Are you looking for that ? Some one to be on the dominate side with Mrs UC ?

At least think about asking something, and be honest. The unicorns I have met are usually pretty understanding. I think when you figure out more about yourselves then your profile will change, just as you do. You'll figure out what to say. Then, maybe somewhere some woman might read it and think, I want to meet these guys. Give the woman a reason, their pretty keen. I think your missing the individuality of someone, I hope you meet some day. Don't be surprised if you meet a single woman at a club or meet and greet and she says "I've read your profile"

The whole mythical creature aspect plus the idea of a quest to find the mythical creature kinda stuck with me. So UnicornChasers as a handle was born.

Thats cool Keep it like it is, you can always change....

Will you be unicorn catchers some day ? Seek them, let them find you, it happens.

But please anything you'd like to share we'd like to know. You can either keep it here or bring it to PM's.

If you want my/our advice or opinion regarding single females. We would prefer to keep it open here on the board. Not that we don't understand discretion, but we don't have anything to hide other than true identities. We have no tricks or game plan or step one two three.... We just put ourselves out there and met some very special women.

We will be happy to listen anytime as long as you keep in mind we are just one couple's opinion. Our time with unicorns have been good for us as a couple, and as swingers in general. Were gratefull....

[sweet_tna]

How about, walk up to the lady, and say, "Nice shoes, wanna' fuck?"

Seriously, all you really need to do is smile, say hi, and introduce yourself. Comment on what she's wearing or the music that's playing. Or ask what she's drinking. Those are great ice breakers.

=)


(Hey mixtupcpl, if we pool our money can you share the package info with all of us?)

[Thrax]

Vewy cahfully...

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by UnicornChasers

So it's more of a breaking the ice thing for her. Maybe it's fear of rejection, maybe it's just she's not the social butterfly type and doesn't really know how to even start. I think perhaps she just needs to start breaking out of her comfort zone so she gets used to the idea of approaching someone to hook up.

Hi UC's,

Has Mrs. UC decided to practice coming out of her shell more and making first contact?

If both the man and woman are friendly and social, that's a lot more comfortable and feels balanced...and it's attractive. In my case, I'm uncomfortable with couples in which one person is clearly taking a back seat and letting the other do all the "driving". If the woman seems to be very much taking a back seat, she seems passive to me. I get the impression about her that she'll be passive in the bedroom, too. In other words, I'll sense that if she and I were to play, she'd want to just lay on her back and let me be "the man"...not fun. (That's happened often in swinging when I was half of a couple). Passive women turn me off. It's got to be a 2-way street of equal flirting and interaction to turn me on. If she can be forward and flirt with me before we're in a private situation, she'll probably be pretty interesting and interactive in a private setting.

Another tip: It appears that you (Mr.) are doing all of the writing here, while Mrs. reads this and filters everything through you, as her spokesperson. That's VERY passive. I suggest that Mrs. comes out and talks directly to people here...come on in, get her feet wet. We don't bite.

[UnicornChasers]

This the wife talking now..... Being out in a crowd of strangers is one thing.

BUT I am not passive in the bedroom in the slightest!

Its the 1st contact that I have problems.. I am not the type "atm" to just walk up to ppl
and start a convo. Once that step is out of the way I do come out of my shell.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by UnicornChasers

This the wife talking now..... Being out in a crowd of strangers is one thing.

BUT I am not passive in the bedroom in the slightest!

Hi Mrs. UC, nice to see you come out!

Just know this...people make impressions about others very quickly. If you seem very shy and let your husband do all of the talking, people may get the impression very quickly that you are passive. They may think that if you're passive initially (socially), that you'll be passive later, too. See what I mean? It's not unreasonable for people to draw that conclusion. It may not be the reality for you, but it might be what comes across to them. People form opinions in a few seconds or in the first few minutes.

Come out right from the get-go with a warm welcome, warm smiles, and something friendly to say. It's not that hard. Just practice it in different kinds of situations and it becomes easier.

Your husband started this thread, asking questions on your behalf. It took all this time for you to join with your own post. On the 'net, it looked like you were "quietly standing behind him" and letting him do all of the talking. That gave the impression of passivity. When the two of you are making contacts on websites to meet up with people, is it also like that, with your husband doing most of the "talking"? In my experience, that always made me leary that the woman was passive and possibly even being dragged into this by her husband. Sometimes that was precisely the reality.

Don't take this personally or feel defensive. Just consider all of this from the perspective of people who don't know you yet, and only know a little of you through a profile, or a conversation that's being carried mostly by your husband. Again, it's all about impressions, and you've got to do what you can to create the best first impression you can. If you're not really passive at all, show that to people in speaking for yourself, responding to them (written or verbal), etc.

These are all just friendly tips to help you find what you want. I hope you keep us posted on what happens!

[slevin]

Originally Posted by UnicornChasers

This the wife talking now..... Being out in a crowd of strangers is one thing.

BUT I am not passive in the bedroom in the slightest!

Its the 1st contact that I have problems.. I am not the type "atm" to just walk up to ppl
and start a convo. Once that step is out of the way I do come out of my shell.

Two pieces of advice for you if you do decide to start opening up and being the one to approach someone:

1. You are going to be unsuccessful plenty of times so be prepared for rejection and a lack of 'results'
2. To get comfortable and proficient at walking up and talking to someone you're going to need practice, so do it a lot. Even just to be friendly.

If you go about it not expecting any result in particular and instead focus on learning how to approach and talk to women you will start to see good results in how comfortable you get with it. There is no magic formula for how to do it, no lines or anything like that. Get comfortable starting the conversation, being friendly and talking then I think that other post that you were linked to may be of good help to you

Good luck with everything and I hope you continue to post as well!

[amid]

With a magic carrot in one hand and a bit in the other..

[UnicornChasers]

So you asked, what do you want, what are we looking for. We have similar but different answers as you will soon see:

Her Answer:
She's got to be attractive to me, she can't be stuck up either, she wouldn't want to hang out with us anyway if she's a snob.

My Answer:
Easy going, needs to be her own person, beat of her own drum and that sort of thing. Someone that can be a female friend to my wife, girls nights out and stuff like that, malls, whatever it is adult women do together. Someone that doesn't want to change people and doesn't want to be changed, but wise enough to make adjustments. Someone that we could be friends with even if we don't become playmates. Oh, and yeah, she's got to be attractive .

So it seems I have more of a person in mind, but Kit (the name I will use for her here) has more of a body.

[femnewb4u2]

Originally Posted by UnicornChasers

So you asked, what do you want, what are we looking for. We have similar but different answers as you will soon see:

Her Answer:
She's got to be attractive to me, she can't be stuck up either, she wouldn't want to hang out with us anyway if she's a snob.

My Answer:
Easy going, needs to be her own person, beat of her own drum and that sort of thing. Someone that can be a female friend to my wife, girls nights out and stuff like that, malls, whatever it is adult women do together. Someone that doesn't want to change people and doesn't want to be changed, but wise enough to make adjustments. Someone that we could be friends with even if we don't become playmates. Oh, and yeah, she's got to be attractive .

So it seems I have more of a person in mind, but Kit (the name I will use for her here) has more of a body.

Unicorn here. Have been following this thread with interest Mr. and Mrs. UC. I do not know how all single fems feel but I would to step in with a few notes from my position. First off, what Mr Fun says is on the money with regards to profiles. It helps if the unicorn senses she will be regarded as desired or wanted by both of you for being herself, not just because she is one. The unicorn has plenty of options to just be a toy or lay in the swing world. But if you want to go from chasing to catching, you may be best served by helping her want to come to you over all the other contacts she receives. While the "His answer" gives the unicorn something to tie into, the "Her answer" says it can be any one....just a body that fits some undefined physical parameter.

Tybee brings up another very good point. Mrs. UC, you may quite well not be a passive woman. But giving the impression in person, or online, of being passive will cause me to react as Tybee does. Passivity has led to feelings of wife is doing this for hubby, wife almost laying there with me doing most of the work, wife getting uncomfortable in playtime, me being an extra and not an equal part of the "romp". All of which has proven out. Plus, for me it is difficult to get excited about being with a couple when the sexual energy and overatures are only coming from one person. I clearly do not know you well enough to say whether you are passive or not. Nor do I know how you would be in a threesome sexually. But I can say, your chances of catching one or many unicorns increases if you make her feel you desire her.

Practice letting Mr. UC start the in person conversation, or the email chats, or IMs, etc. to get the ball rolling but you jump in quickly. Become a part of it. Then 50% of the conversation. Then more. Until you can make those overatures on your own. If the idea is for you all to play as a threesome, then you need to show her who you are as well as who your husband is. It is both of you she needs to feel desired by. And if it is for him to watch and you and she to play, then by all means...it all needs to come from you. Lean on him but push yourself to not appear passive, sure of what you are looking for, and why the two of you could be the best contact a unicorn could make.

[DE_BBC]

Originally Posted by UnicornChasers

This question is coming from my wife.

She was always one of those types that don't really go up to people or "put herself out there". So she was wondering how does one approach an attractive woman to strike up a conversation. It's not like you are just trying to make a friend, you trying to make something much more.

She's just looking for advice from other females/couples that have done this, and how you go about doing it.

You have to approach very quietly, I hear sudden movements can frighten them....SORRY, I couldn't resist.

[UnicornChasers]

You know to be honest we aren't really sure what we want. I mean we really haven't done this before, so we only have a vague idea of what we'd be interested in. It's like dating for the first time all over again, except with two of us dating a third.

Also, she doesn't post because she doesn't feel the need to do so, and I can tell you once the ice is broke, she is very warm and likes to talk, and talk, and talk. Our experience in the club has my mind at ease on any sort of hesitation on her part, because there was none. She's actually a bit annoyed that people are judging her (we are pretty nonjudgmental people) off of her participation on a message board.

I think we are still feeling things out. I think we want to feel wanted, and are very willing to return the favor. I think we really need to dump the kids somewhere and get out again like we did before, because not a damn thing will happen if we don't get out of the house again.

[BiloxiCouple]

10 Tips for Approaching Single Women -- Yahoo! Personals These seem to work in all circumstances. Just good basic guidelines.