A question for the straight women - does how the other woman looks matter to you?

[Rackir]

Hi Lauren, glad to hear that you and your hubby talked and came to a consensus! As always, communication is the big thing.

If I may though, I would like to weigh in on your original post (despite being neither a woman nor particularly straight).

It matters! Whether you are going to play with both partners or not, it is the couple that you are inviting into bed you, and so both members of that couple should be people you want there. If either of them turn you off, then it should put the brakes on the deal (the missus and I maintain a dual veto power rule for that).
Especially for your first time, it should be with two people with whom you want to share an amazing sexual experience. Hell first times get awkward enough even when everyone is attracted to one another, add in some real un-attraction and it's a recipe for disappointment.

A second thought though, you wondered if your expectations were two high. Is it possible that they are, and that you are using them as a way to delay engaging in the experience? Some people, rather than tell their partner "no" to something they know their partner wants, will instead use the "looking for the perfect couple" rationale to keep it in the planning stage indefinitely.
I'm not saying that’s what you are doing (I have absolutely no way of knowing). However if it is, you need to realize that, ID the real reasons for your hesitation, and talk to your husband about it.

Good luck in finding that couple that really clicks for you both, when you find them, you are undoubtedly in for a really good time!

[Tia Vampire]

When out looking for playmates, No, I do not pay attention to women. He's the one that has to be interested in them, not me. Just when I thought I knew his type of woman, he does surprise me from time to time. The only time I do pay attention to women is when he points out a woman and ask me for my opinion. I concentrate more on the guy half of a couple.

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I understand your dilemma.

When I'm looking at a couples photo, the first thing I look at is am I attracted to the female, but the second thing is if the other other guy is 'worthy'.

Its not quite the same as picking for her, its just that I think she deserves a certain 'class' of men.

She has a bigger strike zone for men than I do for women, but if I think the guy isn't good enough for her, I'd not pursue that couple.

I share this thought exactly. I often look at the guy second as being worthy...

[Tia Vampire]

I must add that my fiance has good taste in his choice of women. Never really had an issue where I had to ask him, "What the hell dude"?

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

I must add that my fiance has good taste in his choice of women. Never really had an issue where I had to ask him, "What the hell dude"?

Me neither--which is why I said if I'm not going to play with her, it doesn't really matter to me. If, for some reason, he was interested in a lady whose appeal I could not understand, I may ask him what he's thinking . . .

=)