Like a Virgin propositioned for first MFM threesome

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by LowIQ

So I wanted to give an update on this because so many of you really came out to help me and It really did push me through.

I went over to their home on Tuesday night and we spent an hour talking about mundane topics and then the Husband opened up to me a bit to talk about the encounter. I had asked over the phone that we keep the first experience "lite" so that I can get comfortable with everyone, meaning blatantly, I would fool around but was not going to have sex with her. They both appreciated that and where accommodating.

Her and I where together for about 2 hours and he kept going in and out of the room, peeking through the door and the hallway which was fine, but after a while it started to creep me out a bit. I didnt say anything as it was understood that he would just be watching however I think I would have been more comfortable if he had just stayed in one place. Every other time I looked back he was either there or he wasnt which made me feel awkward.

I was invited back the following night but declined, and then invited to go to vegas with them on thursday thru sat and i declined that also. I think my reasoning is the tension I am feeling, the experience was amazing but again, its sort of the blind leading the blind here and while I was able to lead us into this with very little problems on tuesday, I think I would have felt more comfortable if I didnt have to be so much of the aggressor in the bedroom. 50/50 would be nice for the first few times until I got to know her a little better and I wouldnt have to be so incredibly cautious. Lead me a bit, let me know whats ok. She was not communicating with me at all really and I mean physically and had no objection to what I was doing but Im just thinking it would have been easier to have gotten some sort of affirmation or interaction ever now and then to know that what I was doing was ok, and where else I could go from there.

Hmm. It's good that you went over and talked with them both about everything, and that you felt comfortable enough to at least begin playing a bit.

I can see where the hubby peeking in, disappearing, then peeking in again would make you uncomfortable. Added to the fact that she gave you no interaction and you got no direction from either of them . . . I'd have been reluctant to play with them again, too.

The only real way to "fix" the situation, if you are interested in going further/trying again with them, is to discuss your feelings with them. BUT, if your guy tells you to walk away, then by all means, follow your instincts.

Thanks for the update,

=)

[Mr.Essex]

Originally Posted by LowIQ

About 3 weeks I met a couple of girls at a party and we hit it off right away. Conversation was great and we had a lot in common. All 3 of us exchanged phone numbers and at the end of the night said our goodbyes.

The two girls are friends, one is married and she (married girl, lets call her Nancy) was reinforcing me to ask out the other who was single. I was attracted to her (single girl, lets call her Mary) and proceeded to contact her about a date.

We all went out this last weekend again on kind of a "double date" however Mary didnt seem that into me. She was actually kind of rude the whole night. In any event, Nancy called me the day after and apologized, said she didnt understand why Mary was acting that way and was embarrassed. It really didnt matter to me that much to be honest, I still had a great time. The previous evening I mentioned i was going to skating in Venice the following day and Nancy called me to see if she could go, both her and her husband both like to skate on the beach and I was happy to have the company. I went by and picked her up, said hello to her husband and we talked for a few. He did not end up going with us because he was busy with work to do. So we left.

Once we got to the beach the most interesting conversation ensued. She asked me for my opinion on something pertaining to her and her husband. He wanted her to be with another man and her concern was she did not understand what his motive was. I was a little taken by this but I like to talk about sex and sexual relationships so I asked some questions and gave the best opinion I could.

To make an already very long story short, later that evening after I dropped her back off at her home I recieved a text message from her propositioning me to be "that guy". She was surprised I didnt pick up on the conversation at the beach that she was feeling me out for the job, which at this point I am also because even after going over it dozens of times I dont see how I would have picked that up. They are not being pushy, she says she is extremely attracted to me and feels very comfortable being around me and asked if I was interested. I told her I was.

My head is spinning now, excited about the experience but a little bit scared also. Im trying to understand what my place is, I know her husband wants this for her but I also imagine myself involved in a certain way that makes me comfortable. Ive been with two girls before but this feels different. What do I need to be looking for? Anyone who has any experience with this can tell me the best way to conduct myself, things I need to be aware of. Are there any "first time" best practices that would help me? Ive tried asking her a bit about it but she doesnt want to plan it out, she wants it just to happen on night "naturally" which I get, but again, I dont want to do anything to upset, embarrass, or offend anyone.

Sorry if this is convoluted, any suggestions are appreciated.

Originally Posted by LowIQ

Thank you, and your right, more info is necessary.

I know her husband wants this only by her telling me. At first I wondered about this but she has suggested several times since that he and I go out and talk, given me his phone number and I have been over to there house twice. Im going to try to put something together with him soon but I wouldn't know how to start the conversation nor what to ask so I am stalling a bit.

Thank you for the link to the post, I will look over it and hopefully it will give me some better insight.

I promise to report back afterwords. I am excited about the experience and really hope its going to be a good one.

Originally Posted by LowIQ

Thank you!

This brings up a lot of great questions and something told me this needed to be a bit more involved.

From what I have gathered from what we have spoken about, I "think" this is going to be a situation where the three of us together of us partake in the evenings activities. She seems as if she would be open to the idea of it just being her and I but I dont know how comfortable I am with that.

Excuse my ignorance but what is the difference between a threesome and a "triad"? I agree, I really think he (husband) should have spoken to me before now but she has been extremely open about me talking to him about it which makes me think he is agreeable, but I still think there are a lot of questions to be answered.

Another thing that bothers me a bit, her and I where out at lunch together yesterday and when we got back to my apt, (she had followed me home from car wash and parked at my house so we could take 1 car for lunch) she asked if I wanted her to go inside. I told her that I did but I didnt think it was a good idea. She asked me if I didnt trust myself with her and I told her that it wasnt that so much, as I dont think it was appropriate. She didnt argue the point at all, actually I think she appreciated it, but it still caught me off balance again.

Is this just "first time" jitters? I can see myself really liking this but is it always this difficult in the beginning? I get that Im a prop in their play here but I think I would have rather my first time had been with a couple who was a bit more experienced. Im having to wing it here and it appears they are to.

Originally Posted by LowIQ

So I wanted to give an update on this because so many of you really came out to help me and It really did push me through.

I went over to their home on Tuesday night and we spent an hour talking about mundane topics and then the Husband opened up to me a bit to talk about the encounter. I had asked over the phone that we keep the first experience "lite" so that I can get comfortable with everyone, meaning blatantly, I would fool around but was not going to have sex with her. They both appreciated that and where accommodating.

Her and I where together for about 2 hours and he kept going in and out of the room, peeking through the door and the hallway which was fine, but after a while it started to creep me out a bit. I didnt say anything as it was understood that he would just be watching however I think I would have been more comfortable if he had just stayed in one place. Every other time I looked back he was either there or he wasnt which made me feel awkward.

I was invited back the following night but declined, and then invited to go to vegas with them on thursday thru sat and i declined that also. I think my reasoning is the tension I am feeling, the experience was amazing but again, its sort of the blind leading the blind here and while I was able to lead us into this with very little problems on tuesday, I think I would have felt more comfortable if I didnt have to be so much of the aggressor in the bedroom. 50/50 would be nice for the first few times until I got to know her a little better and I wouldnt have to be so incredibly cautious. Lead me a bit, let me know whats ok. She was not communicating with me at all really and I mean physically and had no objection to what I was doing but Im just thinking it would have been easier to have gotten some sort of affirmation or interaction ever now and then to know that what I was doing was ok, and where else I could go from there.

This is so cute and so sad at the same time. AFAICT, they sound like first-time swingers, but there are some things that you'll want to get cleared up before you decide to delve.

First, your mindset. Do you (aside from from stereotypical male standards) actually want to have a relationship with her/them? If so, then for how long? Just for the night? A FWB situation? Or more? I couldn't tell from reading your posts about whether you truly wanted to be there or if you were just glad for female attention.

Second, what (exactly) are they looking for? Are they looking for a conjoined experience (MFM, MF~M, MMF), or are they happy with him peeking in on the two of you and taking a turn later? Do *they* want to make this an occasional thing, or are they just trying to get their feet wet? What are *their* limits? For some people, "taking it slow" may ultimately lead to a blowjob while the husband watches. For others, "taking it slow" can follow the "chat, kiss, fondle, 1 on 1, 2 on 1 (PIA/PIV)" route. If they're expecting the latter route, how much contact are you and the husband willing/expecting to experience?

Third, should the encounter take place on neutral ground? It's a bit too late for total anonymity/discretion (after all, you've been to each others' domiciles), but do you really want to consummate at home? Her reactions (if the idea of a second man are especially arousing to her) may be far more extreme than either of you have expected, and I doubt that any of you are ready to deal with the reactions of nosy neighbors who connect the sounds of sex with the fact that a second car is in their neighbor's driveway. You (as the single male) may be able to ignore any sideways glances, they're probably not as free to do the same. If you decide to use a hotel, who pays for the room? You (as the extra/stunt cock)? Them (as the people who initiated the liaison)? Do you go "Dutch", or maybe split the costs (they pay for dinner and drinks, you pay for lodging and "extras")?

Last, and far from least, what's to be expected sex-wise? I've already covered participation, but there are a few more bumps in the road. Condoms, perhaps? If not, are you V-safe (vasectomy) and disease-free? Can *they* say or prove the same? Can you kiss her? Does he expect you to initiate (as you've mentioned earlier) or does he want to be there for any post-nude play? Is oral sex on the menu, or anal (giving or receiving)? The idea of two men focusing on her is the standard, but does/will play be expected to end after she's enjoyed herself thoroughly? If so, are you OK with that (Even if you never reach orgasm?) Will they want you to leave as soon as the first bout of lovemaking is done, or do they want/expect you to stay the night? If it's the latter, can you perform more than once a day{*} or make up the "slack" in other ways? If they're expecting a full night and nothing more, would you still want to meet them?

As much as we (community-wise) would like to believe that successful swinging is as easy as "see, pick, poke, thank", we single men have a longer row to hoe. The way that your next encounter plays out can mean the difference between a sustained relationship, a beautiful memory, or them dropping out of the "lifestyle" (single male-wise) altogether. Figuring out a way to tailor a successful first encounter to her satisfaction is paramount (even if she never wants to see you again), because "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned". So (seeing as how it looks like you're all flying blind) taking a little more time to get answers to these questions is (IMO) the best way to go.

P.S.-The "Mary" situation was a for me, until I realized that she may have been your contact's "wingwoman"/decoy. If nothing else, it explains why she ("Mary") gave you the cold shoulder and allowed her married friend to make her proposition.

P.P.S.-Unless you're below 4" or above 9", don't worry about penis size. Treat her right and even those extreme disparities won't matter in the least.

{*This is the elephant in the room. Some men can go 3+ times in 24 hours and some men are good for an orgasm a day. Then again, some "one and done's" can find themselves readily arousable with an extra partner/"rival" in the same room, while the stamina-laden partners can be overcome with nerves and barely manage one burst. Big, big elephant in the room, sir.}