Who makes the approach in a club setting? (was: Wanting Excitement from Intros)

[melmel]

My friend (male) and I are always looking for new and exciting ways to spice up our lives. This is something he's mentioned as wanting to give it a try and I'm game. Our main problem is he's 450 miles from me so we only see each other so often. There was a club in Amarillo, TX but was closed down and I'm not sure about the Waco, TX area. We ARE planning on trying out a club this summer either in Austin or San Antonio.

I'm not exactly sure how this works and need advice from someone who's been. He says the female approaches the male/couple and they start a conversation. If that goes well, then it can lead to other things. Help--this is not my usual MO!

I can use all the advice I can get and would appreciate help from anyone....male or female.

Thanks,
Mel

[N8ture Girl]

Welcome to the board!

As far as who approaches who, there is no set rule that I am aware of. It does not matter who is the first to approach. And you may or may not find the right match the first time out to a club either. There are a number of clubs in the Austin area, maybe you should try looking at profiles in the area your intersted in to see if there are any that interests you both. That way you can chat a little before you meet them.

Good luck!

[JustAskJulie]

First off we are glad you found us.

There is no set way to approach people at the clubs, you just do what is comfortable for you. Many couples prefer to approach other couples together... after all you want to play with them together (in the end) so why not start the way you want to finish.

[iapr]

Depends a little bit on what you are wanting to accomplish. If you are both just wanting to play on your own with whoever then you have a little leeway and flexibility. You just have to make sure that you meet and acknowledge and give full respects to the other person's partner and get her/his full consent.

If you are wanting to play together as a couple with another couple then the ideal would be to approach a couple that is together as a couple yourselves. In other words the two of you approach the two of them.

If there is some valid reason that only one of you can approach then it is less threatening to many people if the female half approaches. If you have to do that then again, it is probably best of you approach both of them together. If that just simply won't work then it is probably best to approach the fem half and get a rapport with her established then introduce both of your partners.

Some women will get very touchy and the cat claws will come out if another fem approaches the male half without addressing her first.


If a male absolutely has to make the first move it is always best if he approaches and introduces himself to the other male first. this is a last resort if all other options are just not possible.

We have been to a club in Tx that expressly forbids a male from approaching a female first and is cause for removal from the club if violated so if there is any question at all it is best to default to female being involved in the initial approach.

[twohots4u2]

We like to approach singles or other couples together. We only swing together and when we meet others, we want them to understand that they are meeting a couple. It prevents any misunderstandings.