Swinging with couples or Clubs - That is the question

[mind_boggler]

Hi there,

This is my first time posting on here so please be gentle. ;-)

We have discussed at great lengths about the whole idea of swinging and our issues as well as fantasies with it. And I guess we have worked out a pretty clear picture of what we are looking for and where we do not wanna go.

We discussed and decided that since we are newbies, it would be better for us if we visited a club first and saw things "first hand" and then take it from there rather than meet a couple and experience the sort of things like..will they like us, what if we dont like them..whats the protocol etc. I know that its always better to be open and communicative but there still is that pressure of being "nice".

Anyone care to shed light on this?

Secondly, we will be vacationing in Malaysia in June/July this year, Does anyone know of any clubs/resorts in the region or even surrounding countries like Spore, Indonesia which we could visit?

Signing off,
Ciao.

[jjtrindc]

First off, welcome to the board. It sounds like you have a good plan in visiting a club with no expectations. We would recommend going early, around the time that the club opens. They tend to have host couples who can show you around, answer questions, etc. Our first time to a club that was real helpful. We ended up chatting with other couples who were just as nervous as us. Beyond that, though, we just experienced the sexy vibe and each other. You'll find that 99% of people you meet will the nice and respectful. So just go and enjoy and let us all know how it turns out.

[cplnuswing]

Excellent reply above by jjtrindc, ditto to everything said.

Sounds like you are on the right track. Good luck and please do come back and let us know how it went.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by mind_boggler

Hi there,

This is my first time posting on here so please be gentle. ;-)

We have discussed at great lengths about the whole idea of swinging and our issues as well as fantasies with it. And I guess we have worked out a pretty clear picture of what we are looking for and where we do not wanna go.

Understanding each others desires and limits, is so important. However, we do at times have to understand our playmates desires as well. Thats a concept for us we had to learn by actually having those conversations with other people. Our actual playmates are few compared to lifestyle acquaintances.

We discussed and decided that since we are newbies, it would be better for us if we visited a club first and saw things "first hand" and then take it from there rather than meet a couple and experience the sort of things like..will they like us, what if we dont like them..whats the protocol etc. I know that its always better to be open and communicative but there still is that pressure of being "nice".

Anyone care to shed light on this?

Selecting a club our social group can vary on any given night. Sometimes we have talked with others and did nothing. A few have been just knowing we all have the chemistry for each other without saying much at all.

I'm not sure about your comment about the pressure of being nice ?

You can be nice and still reject offers if that is what you are implying... Understand you will have to accept rejection as well...

Secondly, we will be vacationing in Malaysia in June/July this year, Does anyone know of any clubs/resorts in the region or even surrounding countries like Spore, Indonesia which we could visit?

Actually, we don't know. Would you mind staying with us and sharing your experiences or maybe even a club review, if you find some interesting ?

Its nice to hear from people in other countries, hear their opinions and viewpoints, and see other customs.

[mind_boggler]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Understanding each others desires and limits, is so important. However, we do at times have to understand our playmates desires as well. Thats a concept for us we had to learn by actually having those conversations with other people. Our actual playmates are few compared to lifestyle acquaintances.

We do understand what you are trying to say but we kinda figured that we "set things straight in our house" first before we can actually discuss it with potential playmates. In the end it actually is something consensual so everyone involved has to be "addressed".

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Selecting a club our social group can vary on any given night. Sometimes we have talked with others and did nothing. A few have been just knowing we all have the chemistry for each other without saying much at all.

I'm not sure about your comment about the pressure of being nice ?

You can be nice and still reject offers if that is what you are implying... Understand you will have to accept rejection as well...

We also understand that we can be rejected or turned down and I guess we are prepared for it. Since we are new to the lifestyle, havent had the chance to try out some polite rejections, if you know what we mean.

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

Actually, we don't know. Would you mind staying with us and sharing your experiences or maybe even a club review, if you find some interesting ?

Its nice to hear from people in other countries, hear their opinions and viewpoints, and see other customs.

Would love to do share our experiences on here and completely agree with your comment on customs

[BiloxiCouple]

Just looking at the title alone brought up this thought (again).

You always swing with couples/people. You don't swing with clubs, they are just the place you go. The club provides a venue for like minded people to get together to participate in their pleasure. There are multiple people at the club so your chances of success increase.

If you are meeting couples/people one at a time away from a club your chances of success will likely be greatly diminished. If you meet a couple and it works that is great, if it doesn't work you don't have the option at that time for more prospects.

As far as finding a club in that part of the world you probably need to do some research on the net or hope someone has been there and done that can advise you.

[JustAskJulie]

I think your thoughts are right on target, at least from our experience. For us, meeting couples one on one has been a lot higher stress than just going to clubs and enjoying ourselves regardless of what might happen. Plus, when we do meet people at clubs, we typically have the advantage of meeting several couples that we "might" be interested in in one night, vs meeting one couple one on one. At a club we never have to feel like we just wasted 2 hours on one couple that we weren't interested in; if we aren't interested in one couple there are plenty more to meet.

[lacouples]

"Secondly, we will be vacationing in Malaysia in June/July this year, Does anyone know of any clubs/resorts in the region or even surrounding countries like Spore, Indonesia which we could visit."

A Google search may help you find some clubs, but remember that Indonesia is primarily a Muslim country and Singapore has a very controlling and moralistic government. Have a safe and fun trip.

[mind_boggler]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

Originally Posted by lacouples

"Secondly, we will be vacationing in Malaysia in June/July this year, Does anyone know of any clubs/resorts in the region or even surrounding countries like Spore, Indonesia which we could visit."

A Google search may help you find some clubs, but remember that Indonesia is primarily a Muslim country and Singapore has a very controlling and moralistic government. Have a safe and fun trip.

Yeah we do know about those countries so gonna be extra careful about that. Will let u know how it goes.

[xyzzy07]

We agree that a club is best. Another problem with meeting individual couples that you've found over the Internet is that you'll get some odd behavior, like people not showing up for the meeting. Even when a couple emails us, we try to set up a meeting at a club. That way if things don't work out with them, we still have a good time.