How important is the experience of the third?

[NymphoWind]

As I wrote two other threads, I came to thinking about something...
This is mostly regarding Threesomes MFM, FMF, or any one of those mix ups...

For all of those who are in the Swinging lifestyle, I was just curious to hear how much of an importance is the experience of the lucky 3rd person joining?

If it is important why?
And if not why?

Lastly if any experience is required what extent is important to you as a couple?

[IvoryTowers]

Originally Posted by NymphoWind

I was just curious to hear how much of an importance is the experience of the lucky 3rd person joining?

Mr. Ivory here. I don't mean to hijack your post, but I think you've got this backward. Usually it is the couple who is lucky to have the 3rd join in. After all, the 3rd usually fulfills the couple's fantasy. I don't know a lot of singles who say to themselves, "gee, I'd really like to sleep with a couple tonight." Let's not foster the image that we're doing them a favor.

[NymphoWind]

Originally Posted by IvoryTowers

Mr. Ivory here. I don't mean to hijack your post, but I think you've got this backward. Usually it is the couple who is lucky to have the 3rd join in. After all, the 3rd usually fulfills the couple's fantasy. I don't know a lot of singles who say to themselves, "gee, I'd really like to sleep with a couple tonight." Let's not foster the image that we're doing them a favor.

Hmm? I'm not completely on this in agreement with you, in one hand yes its compeltely true that the 3rd person is there to help fulfill the couples fantasy, but at the same time, both my partner and I and I'm sure many others also feel that for a 3rd, joining a couple for a Ménage à trois is very much lucky...

Now It's true many single males aren't exactly looking for a couple to sleep with, at a given chance many single males still would, and even to our surprise there are a few single males out there, with a fantasy to join in with a couple...

Besides one of the first things about swinging is that just because we as couples invite others to join in our sexual play, it doesn't mean females who swing are easy, or so forth...
In terms of having sex, walking up to a random female and asking her to "fu*k" would most likely end with the male being slapped.
Now my point is simply females whom are swingers are closely no different, and in having the opportunity to experience this sexual bliss, is nothing short of lucky...

But don't get me wrong for a couple who can open up and invite a 3rd person to join is also in for a ride, but again saying that being the 3rd isn't lucky isn't exactly right...

On the other hand I have to say, that if it's a FMF the lucky one would have to be the male of the couple, I can't really say much more than that on this threesome set up...

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by NymphoWind

For all of those who are in the Swinging lifestyle, I was just curious to hear how much of an importance is the experience of the lucky 3rd person joining?

If it is important why?
And if not why?

Lastly if any experience is required what extent is important to you as a couple?

As a couple who enjoy MFMs, we've never thought of his experience. What matters to us is how respectful he is of us, and is it mutual? Respect is important to us as a couple and in a threesome (just as it is in a foursome or moresome). Is he going to respect our boundaries? Really, when you get right down to it, all we really want is for everyone to have fun. We don't over-think the situation, either. If it feels right, we go forward.

However, we've never thought of him as lucky, because he's joining us.

We always thought we were lucky because he was joining us.

[MrkLin]

I figure we're all lucky. The other guy is lucky to be the one chosen to join us, I'm lucky to have a wife that's open to the whole idea in the first place, and she's lucky because she gets to lie back and be the center of attention for a few hours (her words - not mine.) We all win.

As to the original questions, we never really thought about his experience, but thinking on it now there is one thing to consider - an experienced 3rd person should be less likely to have 'performance anxiety' than someone who has never taken part in an MFM three-way before. I know that's generalizing, but in hindsight, it's been true in our experience.

[ViSexual]

Well, look at it from the third's perspective.

Now I won't try to say how the third would feel if it were a female but from a male's point of view I can say how I'd feel.

Sex without any need for committment is something that a lot of men want. It might be just the time in thier lives where they are devoting time to business, school or something else but they just don't want the added drama of a relationship.

Well, they can hire a hooker, right? OK, maybe they're more human than that and need to at least like their partner to really enjoy the sex.

With a couple a guy can like the lady, and the guy too, enjoy thier company like you enjoy the company of any lady you date, but not have any other committment after the sexual encounter. Well, other than to thank the great couple for sharing something so special with you.

[WeDive]

Yes, some experience is important to us.

Why? It makes things go much easier with less moving parts to be concerned with. Being the 3rd in an MFM can be intimidating to some and if they are inexperienced that can magnify the feeling of anticipation.

We've seen too nervous to perform, over drinking, canceled meetings, etc.

The slightest bit of positive experience seems to greatly assist in these areas.

There are other reasons but that is enough to keep the conversation going for now.

[screaminggood]

Experience isn't so important to me, but it will affect how we play. With a "newbie" man, I'll play seductress whereas with a very experienced man I might enjoy being more submissive.