Questions for the potential 3rd

NymphoWind · 03-10-2009, 04:25 PM

Besides the usual
- Are you D&D free?/willingness to take the tests
- Cut/Uncut?
- size?
- experience?
- feelings about following set rules?

And so forth, are there any questions you ask your potential 3rd?

In our case we're currently interested in having another male join us for a MFM, now we have talked a bit, and asked more than a few questions about one another, but I was just curious to hear from others what questions did you asked besides those listed above, to get a better feel of whether or not this potential 3rd person was a good fit, or just a no no...

So far we have asked all of the questions which have come to mind, and so far we're pretty interested, but being new to this whole experience we can never over look something that may be good to know...

**good times** · 03-10-2009, 05:17 PM

No suggestions, just an observation, I have to say 3 out of the 5 questions you listed have never occurred to us to ask anyone in all the years we have been swinging.

Whether it is a third or a couple, we generally just talk to the potential playmate to determine if their is a sexual attraction there. Once that is determined we find out if they are willing, discuss any rules, and head for the play room. The things on your list like size, cut or uncut etc., if they are important to you, then yes, I would ask up front. Which pretty much answers the question, if something is important enough to you that it would effect your decision to play or not, then definitely ask up front. Other than that, no need to over think this.

**BiloxiCouple** · 03-10-2009, 05:53 PM

We have an old post running around somewhere about a swinger's questionnaire/checklist. This sounds like the start of it again....

CXXC · 03-10-2009, 05:54 PM

the issue I find with your approach is that it sounds more like a Job application. I get the feeling that you may not have met the individual before either. I could be wrong.

Like Good Times stated, there are questions we have never asked as well. But it is all about your comfort levels.

Meeting with the individual(s) and communicating your wants, desires, rules etc... is the best way to find out all you may wish to know. Yes, there are some quesitons that you may want to bring to the meeting, but if you let it flow, the meeting will feel more like a fun little get together instead of an interrogation.

Just my .02. I really think I am getting close to $5.00

dnmnms · 03-10-2009, 07:35 PM

Hmmmm...Heck we never ask anything except wanna fu**.
Other than safe sex and attraction I really dont need to know much else.

Melody

arvcpl · 03-10-2009, 07:50 PM

I would suggest really delving into their thoughts and attitudes about what they think swinging is and determine if they have the slightest clue about what a swinging couple is and what their thoughts are on being with a couple.

Many single guys think that when the sign up on a swing site or go to a lifestyle club that the women will all be oversexed sluts with out of control sex drives who have no standards and will fuck any guy that comes along.

Many also think that swinging is anologous to general promiscuity and think that swinging females fuck a lot of guys on an ongoing basis and that it is something they do on their own as opposed to something that they do with their husbands.

In other words many single guys think that women in the lifestyle are loose sluts that fuck a lot of guys that all the have to do is offer their services and the women will come over to their apartment in the middle of the night, fuck them one on one and leave.

Many single guys will back out or do a no show when they realize that the couple is intending a MFM threeway and that they will still have to court and flirt and personally interact with both the male and and female. When single guys find out it isn't just going to be quick and easy pussy that is all on their own terms 95% back out. In reality there are as few "for real" single males in the lifestyle as there are single females.

**LFM2** · 03-11-2009, 08:19 AM

IF there is chemistry there, the only things we're really concerned with is if the guy is D/D free and discuss both parties boundaries. Other than that, we're good. We don't want to complicate things. In our swinging life, we try to keep things as simple and possible and things just seem to go more smoothly.

janaandjames · 04-19-2009, 08:23 PM

Those are questions I would like to ask sometimes, but we have never asked those.
We do have some boundaries, so ... are you willing to abide by our boundaries?
is about all we ask.
If there is chemistry there, attraction, then the rest will follow.

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03-10-2009, 04:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
NymphoWind Make me purr... Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 64 Location: Vancouver Status: Couple Blog Entries: 3	Questions for the potential 3rd Besides the usual - Are you D&D free?/willingness to take the tests - Cut/Uncut? - size? - experience? - feelings about following set rules? And so forth, are there any questions you ask your potential 3rd? In our case we're currently interested in having another male join us for a MFM, now we have talked a bit, and asked more than a few questions about one another, but I was just curious to hear from others what questions did you asked besides those listed above, to get a better feel of whether or not this potential 3rd person was a good fit, or just a no no... So far we have asked all of the questions which have come to mind, and so far we're pretty interested, but being new to this whole experience we can never over look something that may be good to know... __________________ Instead of accepting what we know, lets learn more about ourselves, and have fun doing it!

03-10-2009, 05:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,756 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times Swing Lifestyle Name:randp	Re: Questions for the potential 3rd No suggestions, just an observation, I have to say 3 out of the 5 questions you listed have never occurred to us to ask anyone in all the years we have been swinging. Whether it is a third or a couple, we generally just talk to the potential playmate to determine if their is a sexual attraction there. Once that is determined we find out if they are willing, discuss any rules, and head for the play room. The things on your list like size, cut or uncut etc., if they are important to you, then yes, I would ask up front. Which pretty much answers the question, if something is important enough to you that it would effect your decision to play or not, then definitely ask up front. Other than that, no need to over think this. __________________ R (He is R, she is P)

03-10-2009, 05:53 PM	#3 (permalink)
BiloxiCouple I wish I may Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 3,502 Location: Biloxi, Mississippi Status: Couple with benefits Swing Lifestyle Name:graceful	Re: Questions for the potential 3rd We have an old post running around somewhere about a swinger's questionnaire/checklist. This sounds like the start of it again.... __________________ You'll be judged by how you treat your family and more importantly, strangers.

03-10-2009, 05:54 PM	#4 (permalink)
CXXC Veni, Vidi, Veni!!!! Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 910 Location: Savannah GA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:cxxc1963 Blog Entries: 53	Re: Questions for the potential 3rd the issue I find with your approach is that it sounds more like a Job application. I get the feeling that you may not have met the individual before either. I could be wrong. Like Good Times stated, there are questions we have never asked as well. But it is all about your comfort levels. Meeting with the individual(s) and communicating your wants, desires, rules etc... is the best way to find out all you may wish to know. Yes, there are some quesitons that you may want to bring to the meeting, but if you let it flow, the meeting will feel more like a fun little get together instead of an interrogation. Just my .02. I really think I am getting close to $5.00 __________________ Veni, Vidi, Veni!!!

03-10-2009, 07:35 PM	#5 (permalink)
dnmnms Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 160 Location: Mississippi Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:dnmnms	Re: Questions for the potential 3rd Hmmmm...Heck we never ask anything except wanna fu**. Other than safe sex and attraction I really dont need to know much else. Melody

03-10-2009, 07:50 PM	#6 (permalink)
arvcpl Has Left the Building Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 172 Location: Arvada, co Status: couple	Re: Questions for the potential 3rd I would suggest really delving into their thoughts and attitudes about what they think swinging is and determine if they have the slightest clue about what a swinging couple is and what their thoughts are on being with a couple. Many single guys think that when the sign up on a swing site or go to a lifestyle club that the women will all be oversexed sluts with out of control sex drives who have no standards and will fuck any guy that comes along. Many also think that swinging is anologous to general promiscuity and think that swinging females fuck a lot of guys on an ongoing basis and that it is something they do on their own as opposed to something that they do with their husbands. In other words many single guys think that women in the lifestyle are loose sluts that fuck a lot of guys that all the have to do is offer their services and the women will come over to their apartment in the middle of the night, fuck them one on one and leave. Many single guys will back out or do a no show when they realize that the couple is intending a MFM threeway and that they will still have to court and flirt and personally interact with both the male and and female. When single guys find out it isn't just going to be quick and easy pussy that is all on their own terms 95% back out. In reality there are as few "for real" single males in the lifestyle as there are single females.

03-11-2009, 08:19 AM	#7 (permalink)
LFM2 ~~Happy Valentines Day~~ Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,480 Location: State of Confusion Status: Couple Blog Entries: 11	Re: Questions for the potential 3rd IF there is chemistry there, the only things we're really concerned with is if the guy is D/D free and discuss both parties boundaries. Other than that, we're good. We don't want to complicate things. In our swinging life, we try to keep things as simple and possible and things just seem to go more smoothly. __________________ Dave & Holly

04-19-2009, 08:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
janaandjames Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 119 Location: kansas Status: female half of couple Swing Lifestyle Name:janaandjames	Re: Questions for the potential 3rd Those are questions I would like to ask sometimes, but we have never asked those. We do have some boundaries, so ... are you willing to abide by our boundaries? is about all we ask. If there is chemistry there, attraction, then the rest will follow.

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