Safety Plans when meeting new people?

[NymphoWind]

When first meeting strangers or as a swinging safety plan, what steps do you do?

What I mean is, some couples I have heard use fake names, to make sure things stay extra discreet... Etc...

What other steps or precautions do you use?
- Always use condoms
- use fake names
- Have play sessions at hotels/motels

[travelin 2 som]

we usually get to know the person a bit before anything is to happen between us and them, so far seems to work for us quite well.

[fun4Ds]

We let our kids know our where abouts as far as restaurants or hotels we may be visiting. Its kinda hard not too, as I work with my sons each day and our adult daughter lives with us now.

No, they don't ask detailed questions. Just our general where abouts

I would think anyone would let a trusted friend know something about where they are going to be.

[IvoryTowers]

We always meet people in a public place first, before going anywhere private. However, I do think using fake names is a bit extreme. We don't give out our last names willy-nilly, but we aren't going to try to make up fake IDs for ourselves.

[CXXC]

We utilize a few safty plans such as meeting in public at first or having them come to our home after getting to know them well enough.

Then there is always.....
Tarus .40 cal within reach for me.
.38 ladysmith for Mrs. CXXC.
Nuff Said

[The Fuse]

We don't give fake names. In the three years we've been meeting people, we have known one couple who used fake names during email correspondence and then told us their real first names when we met. Personally I don't see how that makes you any safer. By then they have seen your faces anyway, meaning before you have met.

We do not ever go to someone's house the first time we meet, nor do we invite someone to ours, unless we have spent a few hours with them and are comfortable.

When it comes down to it, we figure most people are just like us -- nice, normal people who have a wild side. After spending a few hours with people, we've asked them enough questions to have either felt a weird vibe from them, seen the red flags etc. -- or satisfied ourselves that they are normal people.

We don't confine ourselves to hotels. That would get expensive in a hurry, and we don't have kids, so we have no problem hosting. We figure if someone were going to rob us, they'd have an easier time taking an approach other than "hey, wanna fuck?".

[screaminggood]

We meet people in clubs, and 99.9% of the time use condoms, and don't usually give out our last names...but from there....we do frequently play on the first date, and we have gone to others houses. If we're literally going to get into bed with them, there has to be enough trust that they won't black widow us afterward!?!

[hands4fun]

I also think the fake names is a bit extreme. We don't give our last names till after we have met and don't invite anybody into our home/vanilla lives till we are very comfortable with them, that may be after the 1st meet, or never. Depends on the person/couple. Some people we keep as only playmates others as close friends.

[realcplub2]

We have been in the situation where those we were ALMOST going to a private location we figured out had been using fake names..

To my wife more than me, it was a major violation.. If you are going to lie about something as simple as your real name, WHAT ELSE are you telling stories about? Experience level? Drugs? DISEASE? HEALTH STATUS!?!

We as a rule prefer playing with new people in a mutually decided on Hotel/Motel.. For a few reasons first off its neutral ground.. No home courts at first.. Second if its a room we stop at a front desk to get a key its less likely we will end up in a video store..(like anyone really would in our case,lol, Disney already cornered the Beauty and the beast market)

Beyond that the common sense rules..

[MrkLin]

I too don't understand the logic in using fake names. Heck, I have enough trouble remembering my real name at times, now I'm gonna throw a fake name into the mix?

When meeting a couple for the first time, we meet over coffee or drinks in a neutral public place, and go from there. I agree with the others who say that they don't go to anyone's home at first - nobody knows what they're walking into. Meeting at an on-premise or off-premise club is a great option too, and one we're starting to like more and more as we do it.

Yes - always use condoms. That should go without saying.

I wouldn't meet someone for the first time with the expectation that there will be any playtime that night. Don't get me wrong - there might be, but it's been our experience that for the most part that's not the case. They're just a curious and nervous as you are. They're going to need time to make up their minds about you, just as you're going to need a bit of time to make up your minds about them. Everyone has to be sure they really 'click,' and that the 4-way chemistry is there. It can and does happen on a first meeting, but not often. A first meeting at an on-premise club gives you the advantage of a place to play without the added expense of a hotel if the chemistry is right. It also gives you the possibility of meeting someone else if you all agree that the chemistry just isn't there.

Overall, I'd say to just be yourselves, be discrete, and stay safe.

[LFM2]

We've never used fake names. We have used our initials on a few first time e-mails, but no fake names. We'd forget and then we'd really be in trouble.

We ALWAYS meet in public the first time. A diner or restaurant or some other public venue. We always tell our kids where we're going. They don't need to know details, so we don't tell.

We don't go with expectations, but if it's decided that we're going to go play, we call and tell our kids that we'll be at such and such place and we should be home by such and such a time. As far as condom use, there is a non-negotiable rule that we always use condoms. No matter what. The only man who gets out of that rule is Dave.

[NotSorry]

I'd also say that trusting your gut is in order. When browsing profiles we occasionally come across a couple that despite having a reasonably respectable looking profile something seems off. Something you can't exactly put your finger on but it just doesn't seem right. We've not experienced this feeling in person yet but I'm sure that we will in the future. Maybe more experienced swingers can share some more about how this has worked for them in person.

I'd never use a fake name and I don't think I'd like it if potential partners did either. It fosters distrust. I'm already on high alert trying to weed out fakes. Don't set off my bullshit detector for no good reason...

[hands4fun]

agree with your wife.....

[good times]

We don't do anything special or any different than we would do when meeting someone new in a vanilla situation. I have to be honest, while I have heard of, and even met people that used fake names and such, I could never see the point of it.

[Mr.Essex]

I use my nickname during the "feeling out" part of the engagement, then give my real name if things look like they're about to get serious. I'm lucky in that respect, as my nickname is essentially my initials. That way, if things don't work out, my real name and contact information aren't splattered all across town. I'd like to use my real name, but some of us aren't lucky enough to have generic names like "Paul White" or "George Jones" (IOW, the types of names that repeat themselves in phone books), and I'm one of (possibly) 100 black men in a town of 50,000 people. If I had a more generic name, I'd willingly give it out. But, if I were to liaise with someone, and things didn't work out as planned, I'd find myself outed with ease. I've seen too many "outing" horror stories.