is my co-worker putting me on?

[The Fuse]

Yeah, what they said... if you have zero intention and zero interest in swinging now or ever, please think about being considerate to those of us who go hoping to meet playmates. It's not that we don't go there to be social, but the sexual possibilities are the main reason. If we spend a lot of time talking to someone, like more than several minutes, it's usually because we are possibly interested in playing. To spend an hour or two talking to someone and then finding out they're just there to "check out the swingers" is pretty annoying.

[Trellken]

Originally Posted by rpu3

Wow. This is going to come off as obnoxious, but the last thing I need at the swing club we attend are more people going for the freak factor. It's not the zoo. Seriously, if you aren't swingers, don't intend to be swingers, aren't looking for a hook-up, etc., why are you going to a swing club? Newbies, don't take my mini-rant to mean you. Many of us weren't sure if we wanted to swing or not, and some of us went to a club to check out the scene, slowly wade in, etc. I'm being specific to those who go with no intention to swing. Sure, maybe some will find it is for them, but given my club had routinely let in the lookie-loos after midnight, I just find this population somewhat annoying in a swing club.

I hope if you do attend a swing club, that you are very direct and upfront about your non-swing status to save time for those who are at a swing club to, gosh darnit, swing! If attending a club is still something you'd like to explore now or later, I sincerely hope you read the Swinging at Clubs/Parties Archive, which has a lot of information regarding your particular position, as well as etiquette at the club advice.

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

So basically you just wanted to go visit the zoo and rattle the cages a little bit.

No really, we animals don't mind when you come to just watch. We might growl a bit and I wouldn't advise you to get too close to the cage because we really might do more than bite.



What she said. And specifically, you might also want to read this thread:

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...e-new-zoo.html

Originally Posted by The Fuse

Yeah, what they said... if you have zero intention and zero interest in swinging now or ever, please think about being considerate to those of us who go hoping to meet playmates. It's not that we don't go there to be social, but the sexual possibilities are the main reason. If we spend a lot of time talking to someone, like more than several minutes, it's usually because we are possibly interested in playing. To spend an hour or two talking to someone and then finding out they're just there to "check out the swingers" is pretty annoying.

For those of you that have this reaction, what constitutes an acceptable level of participation to avoid the zoo-factor? Jules and I have twice gone to swing clubs. We obviously like to watch (I honestly don't understand anyone who says they don't like watching other people having sex) and we certainly participate by fucking and sucking ourselves (putting on our own show so to speak). We would certainly be interested in other women playing, either with just Jules or with both of us, but have no interest in playing with another guy.

Where's the line? At what point along the spectrum do we change from being observers at the zoo to part of the animal collection on display?

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by Trellken

For those of you that have this reaction, what constitutes an acceptable level of participation to avoid the zoo-factor? Jules and I have twice gone to swing clubs. We obviously like to watch (I honestly don't understand anyone who says they don't like watching other people having sex) and we certainly participate by fucking and sucking ourselves (putting on our own show so to speak). We would certainly be interested in other women playing, either with just Jules or with both of us, but have no interest in playing with another guy.

Where's the line? At what point along the spectrum do we change from being observers at the zoo to part of the animal collection on display?

Well since you said that you put on your own show, it's pretty clear which side of the "be watched or watch" line you're on .

As far as your boundaries, they are your boundaries. As long as you accept that other couples may have the same ones as you, which effectively puts you in the "girls play only" camp most of the time, that is what it is. At least you are looking to play, not just watch or be watched.

If we met you at a swing club and got into a conversation, all I would ask is that you say within a few minutes what you are looking for. No one minds you asking them that question. (From your point of view, I would think you'd want to know up front that the couple you're talking to is an "everyone plays" couple pretty soon, right?) As long as the answer isn't "we just like the atmosphere", then personally I think you are fine. Don't get me wrong, though; I know perfectly well it doesn't matter what I think! We may have our preferences, but if it's not our club then we don't make the rules.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by Trellken

For those of you that have this reaction, what constitutes an acceptable level of participation to avoid the zoo-factor?

Where's the line? At what point along the spectrum do we change from being observers at the zoo to part of the animal collection on display?

Jules and I have twice gone to swing clubs. We obviously like to watch (I honestly don't understand anyone who says they don't like watching other people having sex) and we certainly participate by fucking and sucking ourselves (putting on our own show so to speak). We would certainly be interested in other women playing, either with just Jules or with both of us, but have no interest in playing with another guy.

I switched your post around thinking you actually gave the answer yourself.

The line, for me is the watchers and looki lou's. If you enjoyed putting on the show and can include someone outside your own relationship (male or female) Then your like the lions watching the tigers.

Welcome to our part of the Zoo