is my co-worker putting me on?

[D-nice]

I gave her the link to the club to check it out..I told her about the co-worker..it didn't fade her.
No, she doesn't read this board....I told her I'll ask around on here.
Her thing is as long "we're not doing anything there.".....she's just curious as well.
knowing us, we'll probably go and leave within the hour.
I told her if she feel uncomfortable , we'll just leave.

thx for your response.
I'll keep you updated.

[D-nice]

"Does she know about your previous intentions of going to the club with the "flakey" (not sure about that discription) Gal from work ?"

My colleague can be flakey at work...say she gonna doing something but doesn't....so I figure this "swing invite" is just an extention of her personality.

we're cool and everything..its just the way she comes across.

[JustAskJulie]

I think the question that Fun4Ds might have been trying to get to was - Does your girlfriend know you were thinking about going without her and how did she feel about that?

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I think the question that Fun4Ds might have been trying to get to was - Does your girlfriend know you were thinking about going without her and how did she feel about that?

Thanks Julie,

I was in that thought also

[D-nice]

she didn't have a problem with it....I wasn't going with my colleague to the club to swing...just to observe the environment and see if I wanted to bring my girl.

My co-worker knew I had a girlfriend...I just wanted to visit the club out of curiosity.
Nothing more or less.
I went to a porn convention in Vegas one year just to meet some of the "celebrities"..just to say I'd been.I had no desire to be a porn star.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by D-nice

I went to a porn convention in Vegas one year just to meet some of the "celebrities"..just to say I'd been.I had no desire to be a porn star.

Oh come on now. Wouldn't ya like to be a porn star, just a little

[D-nice]

lol.....like being on stage with a microphone...or scoring a touchdown...some things are better left as fantasies.

[R&C]

One other thing to think about is what if your GF actually finds she enjoys herself? What is that going to do for you. We have seen it before where the Husband was "pushing" (probably too strong a word) to go and the wife was luke warm about the idea at best. The wife fit right in and the husband freaked at a party and they had to leave. Once he calmed down they decided to move forward and go again. We ended up "playing" and again the wife was very enthusiastic and the husband had a bit of an issue about that.

The point being that there is more to think about and there is no way to plan for everything that can happen.

[D-nice]

well, the young lady ,that I've been dating for a couple of months, just seperated after a long marriage so I'm the first guy that's she been with other than her husband.
She's still spreading her wings sorta.
We're not a serious couple as far as long time committment.She still has kids in the house so we go out when we can.
if there's a possibilty of her getting into this lifestyle...that's her choice...not mine.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by D-nice

well, the young lady ,that I've been dating for a couple of months, just seperated after a long marriage so I'm the first guy that's she been with other than her husband.

Well thats a whole new can or worms.

Let me get this straight

You wanna get into the club. You tried the flakey gal and for some reason she dodged ya. Now your working a woman who isn't even divorced yet. (you did say separated)
Thats why the courts have a 60 day cooling off period.

She's still spreading her wings sorta.

No, I think she might have allot of things to sort out emotionally.

Ya know, swinging and swingers in general, are pro relationship.
What happens when she sees this and is in the middle of many couples in great relationships.

We're not a serious couple as far as long time committment. She still has kids in the house so we go out when we can.

Well, I'm just speculating but from experience, your probably the guy who is better than nothing, (no one wants to be alone during a separation).
Or else, you might have been the reason for the seperation... I don't know ?

if there's a possibility of her getting into this lifestyle...that's her choice...not mine.

So you just thought you would kick around the idea of swinging, you know, just to see.

I personally wouldn't want to be the guy who gives ya the edge to convince her to swing. And personally, if I met the two of you at a club. I would think her marriage/separation would be keyed in on, pretty quick.

I'm thinking of the guy, who is soon to find out. You know, The ex...

She met you and now is with a bunch of swingers.

Is our personal safety a consideration to you at all ? Things can unfold in the worst of ways.

Why not introduce her to the Swingers Board and let her speak for herself ?
She might have a better chance of an informed decision before going out with swingers ?

Just as in real life with Swingers, there will be people like us, talking with her. Are you prepared ? What if someone steps on you to get with her ? I mean your just a single guy, a dime a dozen so to speak. She will be the one in the lime light....

I just have the worst feeling at best. She will be saying "You used me" and you will be saying,
"No, we used each other "
Because you kept everything as her choice....

[sweet_tna]

Yes, your coworker was putting you on. If she really wanted to return your calls or go with you to the club, she would have. You work with her, so it's probably best to leave things go with her anyway.

Now about the girlfriend. If you're serious about joining the lifestyle with her, you should really TALK to her and share this board with her. Let her learn more about the lifestyle from the kinds of folks ya'll are likely to meet at the club. This is about the best way to do that without actually going to the club in person.

That said, she's newly separated, which is cause for some concern. She may not be ready to take this leap. Swinging only "works" for a couple when they have a strong relationship.

Best of luck to ya'll,

=)

[D-nice]

I say again....we're not swingers...we're not trying to join a lifestyle....we're not looking for a hook-up....the swing club idea is just an idea..nothing more or less..something to do differently than normal.
try to take it for what its worth.
sorry there's no soap opera or drama.
the issue was about the co-worker..you guys , pretty much, said let it go...so the deal is done...
My colleague and I don't bring it up...we talk about everything esle in casual convo.

appreciate the feedback.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by D-nice

I say again....we're not swingers...we're not trying to join a lifestyle....we're not looking for a hook-up....the swing club idea is just an idea..nothing more or less..something to do differently than normal.

OK, you lost me Define Normal ?

try to take it for what its worth.

I'm really trying here

sorry there's no soap opera or drama.

Point blank, is she (your girlfriend) legally married to someone other than you ? Yes or no !

the issue was about the co-worker..you guys , pretty much, said let it go...so the deal is done...

Fair enough, wont mention it again

My colleague and I don't bring it up...we talk about everything esle in casual convo.

Im cool with that if it works for you guys. I get the feeling there is allot you dont want to bring up though. Truth is, in most clubs causal conversation begins with. So, how long have you two been together. Are you married ? How long ?

And then what ?

"" Well, we're not swingers...we're not trying to join a lifestyle....we're not looking for a hook-up""

I just don't understand. And I'm just one of the guys you might be meeting in the club.....

[rpu3]

I say again....we're not swingers...we're not trying to join a lifestyle....we're not looking for a hook-up....the swing club idea is just an idea..nothing more or less..something to do differently than normal.

Wow. This is going to come off as obnoxious, but the last thing I need at the swing club we attend are more people going for the freak factor. It's not the zoo. Seriously, if you aren't swingers, don't intend to be swingers, aren't looking for a hook-up, etc., why are you going to a swing club? Newbies, don't take my mini-rant to mean you. Many of us weren't sure if we wanted to swing or not, and some of us went to a club to check out the scene, slowly wade in, etc. I'm being specific to those who go with no intention to swing. Sure, maybe some will find it is for them, but given my club had routinely let in the lookie-loos after midnight, I just find this population somewhat annoying in a swing club.

I hope if you do attend a swing club, that you are very direct and upfront about your non-swing status to save time for those who are at a swing club to, gosh darnit, swing! If attending a club is still something you'd like to explore now or later, I sincerely hope you read the Swinging at Clubs/Parties Archive, which has a lot of information regarding your particular position, as well as etiquette at the club advice.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by D-nice

she didn't have a problem with it....I wasn't going with my colleague to the club to swing...just to observe the environment and see if I wanted to bring my girl.

My co-worker knew I had a girlfriend...I just wanted to visit the club out of curiosity.
Nothing more or less.
I went to a porn convention in Vegas one year just to meet some of the "celebrities"..just to say I'd been.I had no desire to be a porn star.

So basically you just wanted to go visit the zoo and rattle the cages a little bit.

No really, we animals don't mind when you come to just watch. We might growl a bit and I wouldn't advise you to get too close to the cage because we really might do more than bite.

Originally Posted by rpu3

Wow. This is going to come off as obnoxious, but the last thing I need at the swing club we attend are more people going for the freak factor. It's not the zoo. Seriously, if you aren't swingers, don't intend to be swingers, aren't looking for a hook-up, etc., why are you going to a swing club? Newbies, don't take my mini-rant to mean you. Many of us weren't sure if we wanted to swing or not, and some of us went to a club to check out the scene, slowly wade in, etc. I'm being specific to those who go with no intention to swing. Sure, maybe some will find it is for them, but given my club had routinely let in the lookie-loos after midnight, I just find this population somewhat annoying in a swing club.

I hope if you do attend a swing club, that you are very direct and upfront about your non-swing status to save time for those who are at a swing club to, gosh darnit, swing! If attending a club is still something you'd like to explore now or later, I sincerely hope you read the Swinging at Clubs/Parties Forum, which has a lot of information regarding your particular position, as well as etiquette at the club advice.

What she said. And specifically, you might also want to read this thread:

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...e-new-zoo.html