Can I trust us?

[seeekers]

my man has asked me to enjoy myself without him at times. hes older than me and well, can't satisfy me always. says he trusts me, doesn't want to deny me searching out my limitations. says I either love and want him or I don't. I adore casual sex but this worries me. Can I trust me/us? Wyndee

[lustylearning]

You can answer that better than any of us. What do you think? Would sex with someone else threaten your relationship with your significant other?

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by seeekers

my man has asked me to enjoy myself without him at times. hes older than me and well, can't satisfy me always. says he trusts me, doesn't want to deny me searching out my limitations. says I either love and want him or I don't. I adore casual sex but this worries me. Can I trust me/us? Wyndee

Welcome to the Swingers Board Wyndee

What level of trust do you feel you have now between each other ?

Whats your biggest fear ?

[sexylady1970]

This is a very difficult question and one that only you can answer as we have struggled with a similar situation. While no gramps by any means, I am older than my wife by 10 years. We got into the lifestyle for many reasons, but I think first and foremost was that I wanted to see my wife satisfied sexually and knew deep down inside that while I have never received any complaints about my performance, it could never compare with someone half my age.

We are deeply committed to each other, but for us we feel it is better that all parties are present for many reasons. I did let her play alone one time, and she told me afterwards that it didn't feel any different for her, but knew it was different for me so we decided that we would never do it again.

This is a decision that only you can make between yourselves. Talk it over, see what both of your feelings are and then make your decision.

As a final note.....while certaintly no lifestyle guru, I have heard of people who take great pleasure in sending their partners off on dates, going so far as to pick out their clothing and then hearing about the encounter in great detail after it is over. I am not quite sure what that is called, but have heard about it.

[NotSorry]

I agree with previous posters that it's you and your partner that have the answer. As you will see all over this board, communication is of the utmost importance. Talk to your partner. Talk about your fantasies, your doubts, your fears, what you think you'll get out of this, your feelings about each other and your relationship... Talk about everything and anything. And keep the lines of communication open. Only move ahead when you feel comfortable doing so.

I had some of the same feelings when we first started talking about bringing other people into our sex life. I was afraid we'd go and ruin this perfect relationship we have. I was afraid of jealousy, mine and his. We talked so much and each time our fear was diminished. I didn't think it was possible but we are closer now than we were before and even more secure in our commitment to each other.

[tnt69couple]

Originally Posted by seeekers

my man has asked me to enjoy myself without him at times. hes older than me and well, can't satisfy me always. says he trusts me, doesn't want to deny me searching out my limitations. says I either love and want him or I don't. I adore casual sex but this worries me. Can I trust me/us? Wyndee

I agree with the above posts. I am 12 years older than my wife. She has played with a few single males, or had MFM and MFMM experiences. But I have always been present. I trust her without a doubt. I have told her that if she wants to play alone that I had no problem with it as long as she told me about it. She has said that there is no way she could do that. Well except one guy at work that she would love to get with. But other than that she said this is about us and that she doesn't feel it is about us if she goes off on her own. But she has that option if she wants the experience.

About your question, I feel you have doubts. So to be safe my advice would be to not participate in the activity on your own until you are confident that you can trust yourself.