How to proceed?

[Squeegee]

We are a couple and my girl is bi-curious. We often play board games with other couples and normally just get nude ans stop a that point. She wants the experience but is concerned about being labeled as a bi-sexual woman. I have been married before to and have been in swinger sets with my wife who was bi-sexual for 11 years. We are both baby boomer's and have been completely around the world with our previous professions.Open minded and love to have a good time. We've discussed going to the local swingers club (trapeze-Atl) very close to us, however, she is still a little skittish because she is a pillar in the community. How to proceed????

[screaminggood]

Check to see if there are some discreet "parties" or "online clubs" in your area that are specifically for bi-women and the men that love them. That's how we started, we moved to swinging much later.

[realcplub2]

Again with the LABELS ISSUE!!

[rpu3]

Again with the LABELS ISSUE!!

They are new to swinging, it's the Curious about Swinging forum, and being labeled in a particular way is obviously a concern to the OP's wife. It kind of makes it hard for a new person in swinging and on the Board to talk about their worries about swinging if this is the kind of response they get in a specific "for the newbies" forum.

She wants the experience but is concerned about being labeled as a bi-sexual woman.

To the OP: You and your wife might want to check out a current thread relating to another poster's concerns with bi labels. It might provide some guidance or at least food for though. Hopefully, you can get to the point that you'll realize it probably isn't worth the energy worrying about that label.

The thread is located here.

[realcplub2]

Ok, let me clarify my reply..

The biggest issue I can ever see with anyone, withi or outside the lifestyle is, worrying about what people will call you, or say, if in the pursuit of HAPPINESS you are, to your own self true..

You are the person walking round in your own skin, in the end, doing what you are comfortable with, should be he only thing that hinders or moreover inhibits what you want to try, do, or NOT do..

So, to the OP, please, if your wife wants to try it, and the other woman, is all for it, go for it.. you never know WHAT you like unil you actually TRY it, then worry about the semantics

Conversely, if She doesnt want to do it, Please do not force her, in the same respect that you would expect if She wanted YOU to do something you objected to.

[Speed & Trixie]

Hi there, welcome to the Swingers Board!

It sounds like you have two different issues: one, your wife wants to experience another woman but doesn't want to be labeled "bisexual," and two, you both want to go to a swingers club, but she's nervous about being "found out" by the community at large.

I suggest you talk to your wife about her fears and concerns. As far as being with other women, is she afraid she might not enjoy herself? Or that the other woman would judge her inexperience? Or the other woman would get too pushy with her? Maybe it's performance anxiety being alone with a woman, or nervous about you watching? (I had a really difficult time with Speed watching my first experiences with a woman, it's hard to lose your "virginity" with an audience!) I had all these concerns and more, and I have been comfortable with being "labeled" bisexual for awhile! Talking with my partner really helps.

As for not wanting to lose your "pillar of the community" status, there are many fine, upstanding members of the community who happen to swing -- lots of them are here on this board! The best advice I heard regarding this is "well, if they see you at the club, it's 'cause THEY are at the club too!" Search around the board and you'll find lots of discussion threads regarding things like "how 'out' are you with your swinging, do your vanilla friends know, swinging with kids living at home, etc" There is lots of good advice on this board, and you'll see that ALL your wife's concerns are totally normal, and have been delt with by many-a swinger.

Keep talking to each other, and keep listening to your wife. The more she feels that you're concern is for her sense of comfort and safety, the more she'll open up. Then you can talk about her fears, and what situations she'd be comfortable with to try (dancing with another woman, going to a club with the goal to just TALK and meet people but go home with you, etc). You can proceed and slowly or quickly as she is comfortable. And of course, keep posting your questions!

From one newbie to another,