Worried about splitting attention

[tallnsexy405]

So, we are not at the full swap part yet. G/G then you get your own partner. We are talking about the day when we finally cross over to full swap. We both agree on same room. I am excited about the idea of watching her with another man. My concern is whether or not I will be able to give the other woman equal attention as I am sure I will be VERY turned on by watching Mrs. Sexy give herself to the moment. Has anyone here been there, and what advice do you have.

[MrkLin]

Originally Posted by tallnsexy405

So, we are not at the full swap part yet. G/G then you get your own partner. We are talking about the day when we finally cross over to full swap. We both agree on same room. I am excited about the idea of watching her with another man. My concern is whether or not I will be able to give the other woman equal attention as I am sure I will be VERY turned on by watching Mrs. Sexy give herself to the moment. Has anyone here been there, and what advice do you have.

When we got into swinging, we looked exclusively for single males for MFM threesomes. Years later, we made the transition to ‘full swap.’ Our first experience with another couple, in which we intended to ‘go all the way’ with that other couple was a huge day for both of us - obviously.

We got a hotel room with two queen-sized beds – which eliminated several logistical problems from the get-go. The hotel is a neutral place. The fact that there were two beds meant that there would be plenty of room – no need for anyone to have to go to a different room of the house because a bed is too small.

In our case, it was Lin who had been hesitant to watch me with another woman. I understood that, and never pushed (or even mentioned) it. The hotel adventure was 100% her idea – she wanted to experience it once, and see where it went from there.

When we got to the hotel and met with the other couple, everyone was nervous. They knew before we ever arranged the hotel room that they would be our first couple. They were fine with that fact, and agreed to proceed at our (Lin’s) pace. Things progressed at a steady pace, and within about an hour we had paired off on the beds.

What I didn’t know at the time was that she purposely kept the foreplay between her and the other man going a lot longer than normal so that she could watch the other woman and me. As she got more and more turned on by watching us, she guided the man into the right position, and whammo. All in all it was a great experience for everyone involved.

Talking with Lin about it the next day, she told me that she had prolonged the foreplay so that she could watch us for a while. She told me that she had done that so that she could get that initial “he’s actually fucking another woman” moment behind her, and hopefully relax enough to be able to concentrate on being with the other man. It worked beautifully for her. She was surprised at how turned on she had become in watching us, and within just a few minutes, she was able to completely involve herself in what was happening to her, rather than being concerned with what was going on in the other bed.

If you were to ever decide to make the leap into becoming a full-swap couple, I’d recommend a similar strategy. Be honest with the couple – they need to know that they will be your first full-swap couple. Some might not want to be your first, and it’s unfair for you not to let them know that that will be the case.

Get a hotel room with two beds for your first play date. They’re the same price as a room with 1 king-sized bed. If one of the beds go unused, oh well – no biggie. The fact that you’ll be in a hotel rather than someone’s home puts everyone on equal footing – nobody feels that they’re invading someone’s home, or entering into a place they might find uncomfortable.

If you’re concerned that you’ll be preoccupied with watching her and not be able to perform, adopt a strategy like Lin’s. Prolong the foreplay and watch. Heck, you and the other woman might just get so turned on by watching (you most likely will) that it’ll make your experience together that much better. We’ve been a full swap couple for about 7 years now - I really thought it was a lot less than that, but I digress. In that time, we’ve both done this – purposely prolong foreplay so that we can watch one another with a different partner. It never fails to arouse us, and we’re more able to focus on the one we’re with, rather than become so distracted by whatever else is going on that we cant enjoy what we’re doing.

Above all else, however, you need to keep communicating with each other along every step of the way. Without that, everything else is all just academic.

[slevin]

Awesome advice from MrkLin!

We were with a couple and we were considering making the move to full swap, but weren't quite sure we were ready or not. Once we stepped back and realized we were hesitant we told them it wasn't quite the right time. But we had a fun night with them anyway. As things developed when the other guy when down on Katrina the girl stopped what we were doing so she could watch. She was so excited to see them together she just wanted to focus her attention on what was going on with them and not be distracted by the fun we were having. It was a bit of a shock to me since she just abruptly stopped what we were doing (my initial ego based concern was that I was doing a bad job!), but she was just excited to watch. It was pretty fun for the two of us to sit there want watch the other two having fun, but if either of them were worried about being watched I'm sure that would have made things more stressful for them.

Just another option anyway

[cplnuswing]

Originally Posted by tallnsexy405

We both agree on same room. I am excited about the idea of watching her with another man. My concern is whether or not I will be able to give the other woman equal attention as I am sure I will be VERY turned on by watching Mrs. Sexy give herself to the moment. Has anyone here been there, and what advice do you have.

It can cut both ways. You have some experience swinging already, just not full swap, so it might not be an issue. But, early on we had an experience with another newbie couple and things didn't go as well as hoped. The other male was just so taken aback by the whole thing that he wasn't devoting his full attention where it belonged, which kind of left the Mrs. with an unsatisfying experience. Sure, it's fun to watch, but there's casually watching and then there's tunnel vision. If most of your attention isn't on pleasing your playmate and them pleasing you, then you are paying them a disservice. I just try to pay enough attention that I would immediately catch it if anything starts going wrong, and enough to know and enjoy the fact that she's having fun, but that's about it.

The hotel is a good idea, and you can take the two beds thing even further if you get two adjoining rooms. Cost twice as much of course, and rooms like that aren't as common as they used to be, but with that setup, you can have about any scenario or switch from one to another throughout the evening.

[tallnsexy405]

Thanks for the quick response. We like the idea of same room queen beds and I think prolonged foreplay is the approach I would more than likely take if and when we cross that bridge. For now, we will continue to enjoy the FF play and MF MF rubbing we currently enjoy. Here's another one for you. Let me know if I need to post it in another thread. At a house party we FELT more pressure to play, but the sexual atmosphere was a HUGE turn on for both of us. The club was just that. A place to see sexy couples with the women in sexy attire. Note to self...glad we wore jeans(tight jeans for her) at the house party.

[tallnsexy405]

We did it...Yeah. I prolonged the foreplay just a little. He and I were doing oral on each others lady. Then he move up for insertion. There was no hesitation on her part. I was shocked to say the least. I kept licking for a minute longer before I made my move. I was so EXCITED by them I could barely get my penis in her before I came. Luckily the site of it all was such a turn on that I never went limp. I just kept on. I now know what all of you have been talking about. It was AWESOME. We had the best sex ever when we got back home. We talked about it on the way home. Thank you my forum family. I am tingling all over.

[ncmd_couple]

I'm glad to hear that your first full swap went so well, now the adventure begins! You two have fun now ya' hear!

S

[MrkLin]

Originally Posted by tallnsexy405

We did it...Yeah. I prolonged the foreplay just a little. He and I were doing oral on each others lady. Then he move up for insertion. There was no hesitation on her part. I was shocked to say the least. I kept licking for a minute longer before I made my move. I was so EXCITED by them I could barely get my penis in her before I came. Luckily the site of it all was such a turn on that I never went limp. I just kept on. I now know what all of you have been talking about. It was AWESOME. We had the best sex ever when we got back home. We talked about it on the way home. Thank you my forum family. I am tingling all over.

I know that feeling well. Welcome to the fold. I'm really glad your first time was such a great experience for the two of you. Now - don't be a stranger!

[tallnsexy405]

Well thanks everyone. We are excited about our next experience! I will try to focus on a little bit more foreplay next time to get the full view of her but it was still very good.