Jealousy, Your first time...

[willyoats]

I suppose, in the beginning, I thought I should be at least a little jealous that someone else was screwing my wife. But, I never was!

Surely that was partly because I knew she had had an affair a long time before. And when she finally told me about it, I was really turned on. That reaction was unexpected, but according to a psychiatrist I know, it is neither all that uncommon nor a sign that I don't really love my wife.

Anyway, jealousy was never an issue. The only problem I had that was a little like jealousy was my discomfort sometimes when she was with another guy and I was not invited to join them. That was simply because I always wanted to watch her have fun. If I was occupied at the same time, I never gave it another thought.

[almostnewbies]

Originally Posted by Two4funinpa

What is really funny is that little twinge of jealousy usually pops up when you least expect it. Most people fear it will be on that first encounter sometimes it is sometimes it is not. It can happen to any person at any time. Even after many years of successful swinging sometimes something little and petty can just trigger it. All you can do is talk about it openly and work past it. Don't want to make a seen in front of others. Talk about it calmly when it is just the two of you. It will pass and you work through it. That is the bond that you share and grow together with.

This was our experience. I felt jealous on the third full swap we had completed, not the first as I thought would be the case. I didn't say anything during the evening because I didn't want to make a scene. It all boiled down to a misunderstanding. Well, after we left we talked it out and he assured me that what I was imagining wasn't the case and explained what had actually happened. All's well now and the reassurances have helped us move past this momentary jealousy issue, thank goodness!

I have found that keeping involved in the events transpiring leads to a more enjoyable time. Sitting back and watching is ok if you're used to it and can keep your mind from letting those jealous thoughts in. I for one have not gotten to the point where I think I can just watch my SO with another woman. Of course, I haven't actually sat back to see if I am at that point yet either. I think I much prefer the 4 person dogpile.

T

[JustAskJulie]

My first time through swinging I never had a single twinge of jealousy. The funny thing was that despite that starting over with Pet I was really worried I would be jealous watching him with others (different relationships, different scenarios, different outcomes). As it turned out I had nothing to worry about. I do feel different seeing him with someone than I did with my ex, there are different emotions there but I can't say that any of them are jealousy.