Approaching Close Friends?

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by SOONERCOUPLE99

I also wanted to say thanks for all the wonderful compliments, Fun4D's. And thanks everyone else, even if it is criticism. Your interest shows a lot about the maturity of the community.

To the point about friends swinging failures these days, maybe it has something to do with the general marriage climate these days. Over half of marriages end badly, so why wouldn't swapping relationships. This is a general reflection of people's commitment to their marriages, and of people's sexual repression. In fact, more people are interested in swinging than they would allow themselves to admit. However, this admission would be beneficial to the marriages and families that repression can destroy. There is nothing wrong with being committed to multiple partners. Evolutionarily, we are built for it. I believe it is why women tend to me more bi-curious than men.

Sociologically, almost all of society are swingers or at least polyamorous if you have a strict definition of swinging. We all know couples who have divorced then remarried. Assuming they had sex in their first marriage, then had sex with their new partner in their second marriage, they have committed polygamy. Sociologists call it serial monogamy or serial polygamy. And since marriages end because of sex, money, or religion you could surmise that many families could be saved by sexual openness and possible responsible polyamory.

Just a portion of my thoughts on the failure of modern marriage in general.

Once again, excellent food for thought.

Ya know, my first feelings when we came to the Swingers Board and even began to expand more toward the lifestyle. Was just what I see in your relationship and new outlook with your friends. We came to learn more about communication. How to talk to people, how to talk between ourselves and most of all how to just listen. We have achieved something special now. We made mistakes. We aren't here because we heeded all warnings and turned when everyone said. " here is the rules of engagement" We just found what worked for us. Sure we can tell of our stumbling blocks. But that didn't stop where we fit in... In fact, Its what makes us comfortable

Best of luck to the 4 of you

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by SOONERCOUPLE99

Interestingly, the husband and I have developed a cross-jealousy syndrome. I don't want anyone outside of our group looking at his wife now, and vice versa. We have no jealousy between the four of us, but we don't want any of our other friends talking about our wives boobs. It won't change the way either of us acts and we will still talk about the same stuff with them. I just found it funny both of us had the same little pangs when we thought about it.

Do you think the four of you might be heading more towards a poly situation? As close of friends as you already were and now this feeling that you definately don't want anyone outside of the foursome involved brings this to my mind. It's something to consider and really think about/ talk about BEFORE it happens (especially if it's not something you think you'd be comfortable with). It's also important to make sure the wives understand your (the guys) feelings of jealousy. Just make sure everyone is on the same page all the way.

[SOONERCOUPLE99]

You may be right about this coming to a more poly situation Julie. We are definitely exclusive for the time being, but we all feel really comfortable together. The wives want to go out and dance at one of the local swinger clubs at some point. But knowing the wives, we go their enough, and we will end up swinging with someone else.

We have talked about the cross jealousy thing. I brought it up immediately when I felt it, but it really isn't a big deal. It was not a real intense feeling but it was comparable to the feeling I used to have when this certain other friend of mine would enjoy hugging my wife a little too much. We have a lot of pretty close friends but none of them will be knowing about this.

We had our first completely full swap tonight. The other wife had some feminine issues so my wife took most of the banging, so she is pretty sore. It is ok though, she has been channeling Marilyn Chambers.

It was a good night to get grand parents to watch children without too much suspicion. My wife and I prepared a new salmon dish we found and they came over for dinner. The wives had bought a bunch of new outfits together, so they put some of those on after a quick dinner. We had a lot of fun, we gave the wives some sensual massages, and had some more fun. Then we went out for a bite before everyone but me passed out.

It is pretty crazy how comfortable we have been with this, and it has been a pretty wild, though long week. We have all been normal outside of this. We still do our goofy guy stuff, and they still do their silly girl stuff. Anyway, I am pretty tired right now. I may have some more to say later. I just wanted to let everyone know that Valentine's worked out pretty damned good.

[Slitelyused]

I'd try some light harted same room sex,,soft swap and not full swap. watching others have sex is a great turn on fo most couples,, try for a situation where y'all can get nekkid, and comfy,,,test the waters. I usually ask the other lady " my gosh, do you taste as good as you look ?? ",,,that will usually give you a response that shows whether she is interested or not...If she says, "Hmmmm, Ireally dont know,wanna taste and see ??"you've broken the ice,The others will most always follow.

[Alura]

What a great story, SoonerCouple, thanks for sharing it!

Playing with friends on a long-term basis was always our preference. Enjoy!

Alura