Would like to begin with Soft Swap

[Baconheads]

Nice to meet you all, here’s where we are all at. T is my name, the dude, T & A we are. Has a nice ring to it don’t you think? Baconhead is an old summer camp nickname I just pulled off of the top of my head. Don’t ask why, don’t know. Maybe true anonymity. So we have never swung…swang? Swinged? If it were my choice, we would so be swingers. I fell in love with the lifestyle when I read my first Heinlein science fiction novel. A, however, would never think of such a thing, as she does not like wearing a skimpy (not thong) bikini on a deserted beach, even though she has a great body. She has said that sex is a very personal thing that shouldn’t be shared with anyone.

So here is the deal. We are going to Hawaii with two couples next week. The sexual banter is very thick with these people. They stayed after a party after the other guests left at our house a few weeks ago, presumably so that the conversation could get a little more bawdy. You all should have heard it after McSteamy broke his you-know-what on “Greys Anatomy.” [Read “McScreamy!]

Anyway, we’re staying with one of the couples in their condo (Two bedroom) and I would like to see something evolve into a same room, same partner scenario, but I know doggone well that if I suggest it, it will fall on the floor like a stinking turd. It has to be the girls’ idea, or at least think it’s their idea, for the thing to fly.

Any suggestions?

[ncmd_couple]

T,

Well, my suggestion to you, based upon what you have put in your post, it to maintain the fantasy in your head, and just be smart during this trip. Being smart means not getting drunk (and lose your good judgement) or try to push your fantasy into reality. Enjoy your trip, don't have any expectations, and at the very least, you will have a great trip with your lovely wife and friends.

S

[Baconheads]

That's what I was thinking, but also to make just enough noise with Mrs. BH to keep the other couple interested. The gal from the other couple was amazed at one time that we don't use toys and that I could keep my wife satisfied without them.

[ncmd_couple]

Well, that doesn't speak well of the other guy's skills. You might want to consider if this is the right couple for a first experience for your wife in the first place. As an example, on our first full swap I was having a great time with the lady, but the guy had the sex skills of a brick and my wife did not have a good time. Just something for you to consider.

S

[Baconheads]

Yeah, they could be all talk, but I don't think so. At least we could watch them use their toys while Mrs. BH goes off like a tea kettle! Ahhh, I have a vivid imagination.

[VANudistcpl]

Baconhead, if you haven't brought up the subject during sex as part of a fantasy, then during the trip just keep it as a fanasty. I know from experience that if you don't things don't go very well before during and after. If you slowly bring up the soft swap or even watching another couple during sex if the seed might be planted and it might eventually happen. That is how Ms. Nudist and I started.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Baconheads

Nice to meet you all, here’s where we are all at. T is my name, the dude, T & A we are. Has a nice ring to it don’t you think? Baconhead is an old summer camp nickname I just pulled off of the top of my head. Don’t ask why, don’t know. Maybe true anonymity. So we have never swung…swang? Swinged? If it were my choice, we would so be swingers. I fell in love with the lifestyle when I read my first Heinlein science fiction novel. A, however, would never think of such a thing, as she does not like wearing a skimpy (not thong) bikini on a deserted beach, even though she has a great body. She has said that sex is a very personal thing that shouldn’t be shared with anyone.

So here is the deal. We are going to Hawaii with two couples next week. The sexual banter is very thick with these people. They stayed after a party after the other guests left at our house a few weeks ago, presumably so that the conversation could get a little more bawdy. You all should have heard it after McSteamy broke his you-know-what on “Greys Anatomy.” [Read “McScreamy!]

Anyway, we’re staying with one of the couples in their condo (Two bedroom) and I would like to see something evolve into a same room, same partner scenario, but I know doggone well that if I suggest it, it will fall on the floor like a stinking turd. It has to be the girls’ idea, or at least think it’s their idea, for the thing to fly.

Any suggestions?

Good old Robert Heinlein, making nerds into swingers for 40 years. I got my idea on swinging from his books as well.

If you are going to Maui I have to suggest you go to little beach. Its a very well known and very beautiful nude beach. The trick is to go to big beach (which is very nice) and you walk north up the beach, over a little cinder cone (there will be a good number of people going to and from easy to find) and you are at a very beautiful beach.

Now I would NOT suggest you go there with your friends the first time, she might be to embarrassed and feel the need to protest to maintain what she sees as proper behavior. The first time I went with my wife we were very newbie swingers but Mrs. Chicup was to shy to go nude in public like that. Well since EVERY woman was at least topless, that made her stand out for not being topless and she removed her top. Finally by the end of the week she was going full monty and had a blast. If you go Sunday its full of music playing hippies which can be quite fun to watch. There is no rule that you have to be nude there either so she can warm up to it (or not) at her own pace. Its such a nice beach that there is no real reason not to hang out there beyond the nude bit, so it won't give her to many secondary reasons to leave. Be warned though the currents are strong, (and thats true of all the beaches on that side of the island) so don't leave standing areas in the water unless you are strong swimmers.

Oh and whatever you do DON'T push play of any kind with your friends without her agreeing to it prior, and sober.

[Day&Night]

Originally Posted by Baconheads

that shouldn’t be shared with anyone.

but I know doggone well that if I suggest it, it will fall on the floor like a stinking turd.

Any suggestions?

Holy Triple Threat Batman !

This looks like a scenario to do three things:

1. Lose a wife and forever turn her off to the idea of swinging
2. Lose some friends, that you have no idea if they are swingers or not
3. Ruin a perfectly good vacation

I say leave it in your head as a fantasy unitl you have discussed it with your wife.

I have several vanilla friends where we banter back and forth about sex and stuff all the time at parties ect. But I know for a fact that they would never be swingers.

[slevin]

I get the impression that you haven't brought this up with your wife at all yet. That is the first step, well before trying to setup some elaborate plans to make something happen with your friends. Even then, I definitely recommend /against/ swinging with your friends. Lots of info on here about the good and bad sides of doing that.

[iapr]

Ok, lets all take a little time out for a reality check here. There are a number of red flags here that are just flapping in the breeze and all of them are falling in the Danger Will Robinson zone.

#1. From what you have said of your wife, she is not swinger material. Period. If she has strong beliefs that sex is sacred and only to be shared between spouses, that is not a platform from which you can readily build a swinging relationship. Every woman has some reservations and questions when swinging is first brought up but if someone has strong beliefs against recreational sex in general there isn't much that can be said or done to work around that.

#2. Trying to seduce traditional vanilla friends into a sexual situation is ALWAYS a bad idea and puts three separate relationships in jepardy. You are your wife's, Their marriage and your relationship with them. Read through a few pages of topics here and you will see that screwing friends almost always turns out bad and you will also see that all of the most knowledgable and experienced posters almost always strongly discourage sex between traditional vanilla friends.

#3. If you know that your suggesting it will fall on the floor like a stinking turd then you can bet the farm that if you try to underhandly scam something into happening then it will blow up like a frigging shit bomb. Using dishonesty, deception and schemes is 100% guarenteed to piss everyone off and cause lots of pain and turmoil and the one that is going to have the most crap dripping off his nose after the shit bomb goes off is you.

Successfull legitimate swingers deal with things out in the open and on the table with honesty, communication, respect and courtesy to all and informed consent is paramount. What you are dreaming up here is little more than a fraternity schoolboy prank to try and score a little extra ass and get your jollys at other people's expense.

Bad idea.

Enjoy your Heinlein books and enjoy the fantasys but keep your marriage and your friendships intact and keep your hands to yourself.

[Baconheads]

Thanks for the info, guys. I think you are all correct that if my wife isn't hot for it ahead of time, bringing it up spur of the moment while on vacation would be a mistake. The suggestion would have to come from one of the ladies to be a consideration for my wife at this point, in which case, I can only hope and fantasize and think really positive.

It's not really my fantasy to play with the couples involved, although I wouldn't have the sense to turn it down of it were offered sincerely. I was thinking of more a same room, same partner thing. Worse, I could be being tested, like her asking me if I wanted to play with them, only to find out it was a ruse to test my faithfulness.

We did go to Little Beach about five years ago, for our twentieth; I went nude, she did not. As a total mood killer, she asked, "Is it everything Ablout that you imagined?" About that time, I got up and left.

We are going to the big island this time around, there may be some deserted beaches way south. Cross your fingers for me!

[Baconheads]

Originally Posted by iapr

Ok, lets all take a little time out for a reality check here. There are a number of red flags here that are just flapping in the breeze and all of them are falling in the Danger Will Robinson zone.

#1. From what you have said of your wife, she is not swinger material. Period. If she has strong beliefs that sex is sacred and only to be shared between spouses, that is not a platform from which you can readily build a swinging relationship. Every woman has some reservations and questions when swinging is first brought up but if someone has strong beliefs against recreational sex in general there isn't much that can be said or done to work around that.

#2. Trying to seduce traditional vanilla friends into a sexual situation is ALWAYS a bad idea and puts three separate relationships in jepardy. You are your wife's, Their marriage and your relationship with them. Read through a few pages of topics here and you will see that screwing friends almost always turns out bad and you will also see that all of the most knowledgable and experienced posters almost always strongly discourage sex between traditional vanilla friends.

#3. If you know that your suggesting it will fall on the floor like a stinking turd then you can bet the farm that if you try to underhandly scam something into happening then it will blow up like a frigging shit bomb. Using dishonesty, deception and schemes is 100% guarenteed to piss everyone off and cause lots of pain and turmoil and the one that is going to have the most crap dripping off his nose after the shit bomb goes off is you.

Successfull legitimate swingers deal with things out in the open and on the table with honesty, communication, respect and courtesy to all and informed consent is paramount. What you are dreaming up here is little more than a fraternity schoolboy prank to try and score a little extra ass and get your jollys at other people's expense.

Bad idea.

Enjoy your Heinlein books and enjoy the fantasys but keep your marriage and your friendships intact and keep your hands to yourself.

As I said, no suggestions will come from me. Too much is at stake to risk it. One card played wrong and I lose my wife, family, all of my friends, and my business reputation *when* the story gets out back home.

Thank you all, your wisdom is appreciated.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Baconheads

We did go to Little Beach about five years ago, for our twentieth; I went nude, she did not. As a total mood killer, she asked, "Is it everything Ablout that you imagined?" About that time, I got up and left.

Yea I think you are hosed. There needs to be SOME spark there on her own, and she doesn't seem to have it.

[2plus2fun]

I wish I had a dollar for every guy who contacted us that is in the exact same situation as you... my advice is... if you like being married... forget the Heinlein novels and look for a new hobby.

[Baconheads]

Originally Posted by 2plus2fun

I wish I had a dollar for every guy who contacted us that is in the exact same situation as you... my advice is... if you like being married... forget the Heinlein novels and look for a new hobby.

I'd give you a dollar! If it would help. Again, I don't see anything i could say that would change her tune, and most likely destroy some of the trust we have together.