Single female - will i be like tossing a dead animal in a lion cage?

[tellmewhatsnext]

I'm a single female with interest in attending a swing party. But I am afraid I will be mauled to death, so to speak, and am not sure how to politely tell someone if I am not interested.

Would it be in my best interest to attend parties with a friend?

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by tellmewhatsnext

I'm a single female with interest in attending a swing party. But I am afraid I will be mauled to death, so to speak, and am not sure how to politely tell someone if I am not interested.

Would it be in my best interest to attend parties with a friend?

Nothing like this has ever happened at any private party we have attended or hosted. If you have not yet read it or heard it, one of the prime rules as swinger's events is, "No means no."

I see you registered here at the Swingersboard today. So I'll also say .

[lustylearning]

You mean with a swinger friend/s? Then yes, I think it would be a good idea. You would have a safe home base, so to speak - a place to withdraw to if you desire it.

[ncmd_couple]

Tellmewhatsnext,

I sense from your post that you don't want to be rude. Even as a couple, we had to deal with that on our first night at a Swinger's Club. "Hi, nice to meet you, it is our first night here and we are just getting a feel for the club." That was our answer, and yours as well. It gives you a chance to check things out and say no, but maybe another time without saying "No!" You get to take this at your own pace and if anyone at a club or party tries to force you, go to the staff or hosts. Tell them who and what. You should never feel pressured to do anything that you do not want to do.

S

[ncmd_couple]

Oh yeah, and Welcome to the Swinger's Board!

S

[fun4Ds]

Welcome to the Swingers Board, tellmewhatsnext

Would you mind stoping by the Introductions forum, and telling us a little about yourself and any prior experiance ?

Originally Posted by tellmewhatsnext

I'm a single female with interest in attending a swing party.

What type of party is this ?
A private house party, Meet and Greet at a hotel/bar, or a Licensed Club ?

Either way, what have you done this far for the sake of your safety ?

How were you contacted and who do you even know there ?

But I am afraid I will be mauled to death, so to speak, and am not sure how to politely tell someone if I am not interested.

That depends on your character. Are you the type to stand up for yourself now or are you a passive person ?

Would it be in my best interest to attend parties with a friend?

Most definitely !! Especially if you don't know anyone !

We cant express enough, Safety first and Sanity second and the Sex is allot more rewarding. As a whole, Swingers and the couples in the lifestyle are well behaved. But it only takes one asshole to ruin the fun.

Do you have any experiance in the lifestyle ??

[screaminggood]

Our club would have a hostess take you on a tour, and introduce you to a few safe regulars with the intent that you'd have someone to talk to, and to ensure that you feel comfortable. At our usual hangout, they even walk around in the playrooms periodically to ensure that the women are safe. You'd only have to say, "that person is making me nervous," and they would ask him/her to leave. Ask the host about your safety....

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by tellmewhatsnext

I'm a single female with interest in attending a swing party. But I am afraid I will be mauled to death, so to speak, and am not sure how to politely tell someone if I am not interested.

Would it be in my best interest to attend parties with a friend?

Yes. Go with a friend (or a friendly couple). Short of that talk to the hosts ahead of time and ask that they introduce you to a couple (who regularly attends) prior to the party.

I would not suggest going alone without doing one of the above... from experience.

While some clubs do more than others to ensure safety and comfort of those in attendance, many do nothing. And it can be very hard as a female (alone at a party) to be comfortable rejecting people. I will also tell you, if you are bi, it is even harder... and the bi-furious women can be much more aggressive than the males.

I don't want to scare you from going altogether, but I would suggest that you make sure you know someone at the party that you are comfortable with and that you feel would not just leave you hanging. You need someone that you can turn to if others start getting to aggressive.

[avid]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

And it can be very hard as a female (alone at a party) to be comfortable rejecting people. I will also tell you, if you are bi, it is even harder... and the bi-furious women can be much more aggressive than the males.

Oh, you are NOT kidding with this! We were at a hotel weekend recently, and a woman I always see at these events was absolutely assaulting me. She's perfectly pleasant most of the time, but she was drinking that night, and she kept grabbing me, kissing me, and just all around pestering me. I really wanted to haul off and belt her! I stayed polite, though, and her husband eventually peeled her off of me.

[Jamie&Kieth]

Hi,

I would assume if you are invited to a swing party, you would kind of know that person. If you do say you will attend, hey atleast ask and see who is attending that you know.

If it is unfamiliar territory then yes, invite a friend along and explain why.

We have "parties" and periodically someone wants to bring a friend, we TRUST our friends and we do not mind if their friends attend a party even though they do not participate.

I can not say but probably 10% jump in and participate and later on another 20% participate on an irregular basis. Need to realize and understand that people are there for #1 for sex & fun and #2 for friendship.

Bottom line is, know your friends or do some research before you decide to jump in.

Jamie

[Chicup]

I would use a different analogy.

It would be like bread to a hungry beggar.

You will be most welcome.

[2plus2fun]

Originally Posted by tellmewhatsnext

I'm a single female with interest in attending a swing party. But I am afraid I will be mauled to death, so to speak, and am not sure how to politely tell someone if I am not interested.

Would it be in my best interest to attend parties with a friend?

Someone was telling me about a club there called The Cottage yesterday... they found it to be a great club with respectful members. We live in NC and the club we attend is much the same as The Cottage I believe and it's a great club.

The region you are planning to attend a club in really makes a big difference I think... my wife said that she attended a few parties at some NYC clubs and the men never asked or anything... they would just walk up and put their fingers in you or whatever.