24, New to The Lifestyle...Questions about finding female for third

[24inflorida]

Hi Everyone! My husband and I are new to the community, and just testing the waters. There is so much info on this forum, it's awesome! But...there is still alot we don't understand about the lifestyle.
We are from Central Florida, so I guess it's a great place to be. There are Swinger Clubs everywhere, but we've never been to one, and we don't know any swingers to show is around.
Here is my main question. I don't want to be with another man, at all. Even if the opportunity came up, and my hubby said it was OK, I still wouldn't.
Is there chances for us, say at a swinger club, to find single women? Or couples where the man wants his wife to have sex with another man but not get any in return? (We would both watch my husband and the other woman.) Also my husband is completely straight, and would not want to be involved with another man...but would be OK with being watched. This is all we want. I know it's almost impossible to find a MFF threesome, but We just really don't want another man involved. (I am bisexual) ANY ADVISE? I have read alot of posts that advise against things like this and say it is very hard to find, but I've never been to a swinger club, and have no idea what to expext. I also know that the age range at most swinger clubs is about 10years older than we are, at 24years old.
We have a good relationship, have been married for almost 3 years, and have talked about this alot. We feel that we're mature enough to handle the ramifictions...mainly that I won't freak out when I see my husband having sex with another girl, so we're ready to go, but don't know where to start. We have joined Swing Lifestyle though! I like that site. So help us out!

[2inSanDiego4u]

Originally Posted by 24inflorida

Hi Everyone! My husband and I are new to the community, and just testing the waters. There is so much info on this forum, it's awesome! But...there is still alot we don't understand about the lifestyle.
We are from Central Florida, so I guess it's a great place to be. There are Swinger Clubs everywhere, but we've never been to one, and we don't know any swingers to show is around.
Here is my main question. I don't want to be with another man, at all. Even if the opportunity came up, and my hubby said it was OK, I still wouldn't.
Is there chances for us, say at a swinger club, to find single women? Or couples where the man wants his wife to have sex with another man but not get any in return? (We would both watch my husband and the other woman.) Also my husband is completely straight, and would not want to be involved with another man...but would be OK with being watched. This is all we want. I know it's almost impossible to find a MFF threesome, but We just really don't want another man involved. (I am bisexual) ANY ADVISE? I have read alot of posts that advise against things like this and say it is very hard to find, but I've never been to a swinger club, and have no idea what to expext. I also know that the age range at most swinger clubs is about 10years older than we are, at 24years old.
We have a good relationship, have been married for almost 3 years, and have talked about this alot. We feel that we're mature enough to handle the ramifictions...mainly that I won't freak out when I see my husband having sex with another girl, so we're ready to go, but don't know where to start. We have joined Swing Lifestyle though! I like that site. So help us out!

It's not impossible to find an FMF -- just hard. We found one in our first two months of swinging. It sounds like your best bet is to start out as a soft swap couple. Specify that you are looking for female only play and that the males can play with their own mate only, or set certain limits on what the males can do. There are plenty of soft swing couples out there and this will be easier than finding a single female. However, don't give up on finding one before you ever start! They ARE out there! Good luck and let us know how things develop.

[ncmd_couple]

Well, it isn't that a MFF is not advised, it is just hard to obtain. And actually, at your age it may be easier than it is for us at 50. The main thing is to honest with the people that you talk to and tell them what you are looking for. Every club is different, so my advice to you is to go visit them and find out what each is like. Don't let just one visit make your decision, clubs are different on different nights.

S

[cplnuswing]

Whatever you are looking for is what you are looking for. Just because it's not the path others have taken doesn't mean it's not the path for you.

But, what is true is the more that what you are looking for is different, the harder it is going to be to find it based simply on the numbers. It won't be impossible to fulfill the scenario you are interested in, but it certainly won't be as easy as the typical two couple swap where all play, which isn't always easy to begin with. So, just be prepared for what might be a long wait before you find it, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun along the way.

Online, make it clear in your profile what it is you are interested in. In clubs, do the same thing, be upfront with others right off the bat if they are expressing interest. Once you do make a few contacts with couples who like to play that way, things should easier as your circle expands out by getting invited to parties, online groups, etc. The numbers will be more in your favor then, so it shouldn't be as hard as it was at first to at least encounter a couple either online or in person that meets the first criteria at least of liking to play the same way you do.

[NCfuncouple98]

Originally Posted by 24inflorida

I don't want to be with another man, at all. Even if the opportunity came up, and my hubby said it was OK, I still wouldn't.
Is there chances for us, say at a swinger club, to find single women? ... but We just really don't want another man involved.

There isn't a right or wrong way to swing. You will find many different preferences, not only on this board, but out there in the world.

You know what you want - finding it may just take time. Most importantly, don't compromise that! Most in the lifestyle will not pressure you to do anything you do not want to do. And if you run into someone that does, just walk away.

The above posters have given you the best advice - make it very clear in your online profile what you are looking for, and same goes for anyone you do meet at a club.

Good luck!

[fun4Ds]

Welcome to the Swingers Board, 24inflorida

Originally Posted by 24inflorida

Hi Everyone! My husband and I are new to the community, and just testing the waters. There is so much info on this forum, it's awesome! But...there is still alot we don't understand about the lifestyle.

We have been here a while, and to be honest, there are things we don't understand as well. It's OK though, because we know where we fit in the lifestyle. We think your on a good start if your talking to each other and staying on the same page.

We are from Central Florida, so I guess it's a great place to be. There are Swinger Clubs everywhere, but we've never been to one, and we don't know any swingers to show is around.

Not sure what you mean by that ? Swingers like us find ways to find each other. That could be using the swingers profile sites like, Swinglifestyle or swingerzonecentral, here or looking into public telephone numbers to the swinger clubs, in your area. Most clubs have websites explaining everything they offer and a guideline of expected behavior.

Here is my main question. I don't want to be with another man, at all. Even if the opportunity came up, and my hubby said it was OK, I still wouldn't.

I don't understand ??? This is a statement, Not a question....Thats fine, you should find that lifestyle men, are generally respectful. You will also find that others have things they will, and will not do. Its mutual respect

Is there chances for us, say at a swinger club, to find single women?

Yes

Or couples where the man wants his wife to have sex with another man but not get any in return? (We would both watch my husband and the other woman.)

No, at least as far as I have seen. Not saying its impossible, but we wouldn't ask anyone. And we have never been asked.

See, I am just like you. There is some stuff, I don't want to do either. We are all entitled. I just don't want to have sex with a woman, while Mrs fun and someone else's partner watches. Even if they weren't heckling me, any slight conversation would kind of distract me from giving my partner the best sensuality, I would want to provide and feel. I like to feel the Passion. There is only one thing I like more, and thats seeing Mrs Fun enjoying the same.

On the other hand, so you don't want to have sex with me. I'm cool with that. But, this is something we would have to talk about in person. I would be thinking what do ya wanna do while their doing it. I'm not the type to... you know, be playing with myself while their doing it. Give me an example of how we could have some kind of fun together. Your are talking about first, Mrs fun wanting or even desiring your husband. Then you have to convince me, this would be something I would want to go along with.

See what I'm getting at ?

If your talking about meeting someone at a club. You have to have some really good social skills with people like us. How do each of you deal with meeting new people now ? Do you talk to new people, make new friends out of strangers now ?

Also my husband is completely straight, and would not want to be involved with another man...but would be OK with being watched. This is all we want.

I don't know how to take that ? I'll just consider your new I guess. I can only say, so far I haven't had any men chase me around with their weenies out, at a club.

I should say, be prepared. I have seen a bunch of them though. I mean dicks. All shapes and sizes, colors and even a few pierced ones. I'm quite sure about my straightness. But the thing is, If your husbands that worried, that you have to repeat it.... Its worth thinking about. I mean, if say Mr bigger weenie comes walking up to me and you, while Mrs fun and your hubby are fucking like crazy. Would that bother him ? Will it bother you ? Would you want me to keep other men away from you ? Could you do that on your own. Sorry to ask so many questions, but as a male with a wife you might be interested in, we have to talk

I know it's almost impossible to find a MFF threesome,

Ya know, every time we hear this it just amazes us to no end. We just cant imagine this being the end of the chapter in swinging. First I can say, Mrs fun is capeable of having friends, that can expand to a greater level. Its nothing to do with me wanting a threesome. It's about her and a few friends including me in a sexual part of their lives.

Does that make any sense ?

Then I actually took a step forward, or changed coarse. I found someone that interested me. You know, like if you were just walking along one day and saw someone and thought, wow, I would like to know more about this person. No particular reason, but you just want to know more about them. I brought this to Mrs funs attention one day and she sat with me talking about how I felt. She actually encouraged me to find my answers, to find out the feelings I had. I took a chance, I introduced myself and my wife as US. How would you feel about something like that ? Would you be supportive of your husband choosing someone he was interested in, and support his feelings ?

but We just really don't want another man involved.

O.k. we got that part, its not as big of an issue as you might think.

(I am bisexual) ANY ADVISE?

This could be a whole thread on its own. What part do you need advice on ?

I have read alot of posts that advise against things like this and say it is very hard to find, but I've never been to a swinger club, and have no idea what to expext. I also know that the age range at most swinger clubs is about 10years older than we are, at 24years old.

We went to Circle City Socials a few weeks ago, A hotel takeover. I would guess 10 to 15 percent were your age. I felt pretty comfortable around the younger crowd as I mingled around. They seemed really mature compared to most vanilla people I know. It was all good, right on

We have a good relationship, have been married for almost 3 years, and have talked about this alot. We feel that we're mature enough to handle the ramifictions...mainly that I won't freak out when I see my husband having sex with another girl, so we're ready to go, but don't know where to start.

I think you have already started, its where your at now, Just talking... Don't stop talking, even if you don't swing. Its one of the most positive things in a relationship.....

[twoforone100]

First there is nothing wrong with what you guys want. Is it gonna be easy. NO.. Might you find a single girl at a swing club you might but our of the 150 couples on new years eve at our club there were 6 single females for the club that was a busy night. Now it is different at every club and even parts of the country. I am pretty sure that most swing couple who are same room full swap are not going to let you play with the woman with out the man playing. Soft swap might allow you to play with females. But we find there are so few truly soft swap couples.. But then we really are not looking for them either.



Most of the couples who have been swinging for a little while have heard a story much like yours before. Sometimes it is the male who can't see his wife with another man, sometimes it is the woman who just can't see herself with another man. Either way they usually just want to hear that there is an easy way to get what they want.. There is no easy way or short cuts.... it is that simple... You have to work it and use the advice that you have already read.. Good luck in your search...

[24inflorida]

Wow, you guys have all been great! Alot of things to think about... I think you did all answer all the questions I had and gave me ideas about what to try. Thanks again, and I will definitely stay on the forum! Good to know there's other couples out there like us...we figured there was, but you know how it is when you're trying to do something different than society...sometimes you just feel alone! Well I'll keep you updated. Thanks again!

[couplers]

Hubby and I are only a few years older than you and I have had good luck recruiting single women for him from among friends and acquaintances. The advantage is that everything can be explained and set up in advance. For instance, when she first comments that I have a good looking husband, I go on about how good he is in bed, hint that maybe she would like to try him, and if she is receptive, that I'm OK with it. It's an opportunity to screen out the ones that aren't real or can't handle what it really is, just some good sex. Two of the four I have set hubby up with over the last six years have been coming off divorces or breakups, so focus on women in that situation, but be the one that gives the emotional support to her. One of the other woman is an overachieving professional woman with no time or inclination for a deeper relationship, so consider that as well. I am still good friends with all of them. While I like to watch as well, only two enjoyed me to be there when having sex with hubby.

While I play too and theoretically we could do couples swaps or parties, my only other sex is only with an old boyfriend. He was OK with it being one way, but I wasn't, hence the female recruiting for hubby.

Hope this helps.

[Speed & Trixie]

Hey 24inflorida!

To the female: I (Trixie) was JUST LIKE YOU at first. Speed and I started talking about my bisexuality and bringing another woman into our bed about a year ago. I, too, had NO interest or desire to EVER be with another man, period. Other women, yes!!! But another dude.... I just couldn't picture myself ever being attracted to another man enough to want to get naked with him LOL.

Of course, if you read our Member of the Week interview, you'll know that I've changed my mind about it. After a couple of months being on this board and talking about other couples (I still wasn't sure that in reality I could/would want to do it), we started meeting people. The first experience we had ended up as a full-swap (same room), and was totally hot!

I would never tell you that maybe one day you'll change your mind, or that you should expand your "horizons" or whatever. If you don't want another man involved, that is your right. It is, after all, YOUR sex life! I will say it's more difficult in some ways to deal with a single than a couple (especially if the single has issues/drama of his/her own). We've had a tough time finding the right single female, and the couple we ended up swapping with had the same story -- except they were looking for single males!

We have talked to this couple a bit about 3somes (with the 4th watching), and the wife is bi-curious so there is future potential for some FF play too. I'd love to watch Speed and Hubby double team Wife, she's quite vocal and it's a big turn-on for me. So this couple may actually be able to help us fulfill more than one sexy fantasy! So I guess my point is this: keep talking to your hubby, and when you do go out to meet people, don't write couples off right away. Few couples would ok playing with one half and not the other (think what your hubby would feel if another couple said "we just want you -- but your hubby can sit over there and watch"). However, we all have our desires and kinks. If you meet and talk to enough people, you will eventually find someone who's kinks match your own... and then....

Trixie

PS Some people have complained about having trouble finding couples they "click" with too -- it's all about patience and not "settling" just to finally do "something."

[Raines5]

My husband is fine with watching me with another woman and him only getting to enter me, and your husband giving me pleasure while he watches, We are married, but are totally fine with my husband not getting "into the action" with the other woman, He really likes to watch me give her oral.

[glassypeaks09]

Hi 24,

I am 28 and my gf is 26. We are also thinking of going to a club for the first time. We want to go on Saturday and were thinking about going to the aahz bodypaint party at playtyme. Have you gotten any other advice about where younger people go? We also have similar desire about what we want in that we are a little limited. My gf only wants to be with another girl. I think she will open up, but i am not going to rush her.

Any experienced people have any advice about where to go in Orlando for a younger scene? There are these daytime BBQ's that sound fun. Skinny dipping! I also would think the day time would bring an older crowd though. Keep us informed about how the first time goes and I will do the same.

[Speed & Trixie]

Originally Posted by glassypeaks09

Hi 24,

I am 28 and my gf is 26. We are also thinking of going to a club for the first time. We want to go on Saturday and were thinking about going to the aahz bodypaint party at playtyme. Have you gotten any other advice about where younger people go? We also have similar desire about what we want in that we are a little limited. My gf only wants to be with another girl. I think she will open up, but i am not going to rush her.

Any experienced people have any advice about where to go in Orlando for a younger scene? There are these daytime BBQ's that sound fun. Skinny dipping! I also would think the day time would bring an older crowd though. Keep us informed about how the first time goes and I will do the same.

Don't write off the "older" crowd just yet. Speed and I were amazed the first time we were at a club -- everyone (all ages) was looking SERIOUSLY hot! Plus the more experienced the swingers, the more you can learn from them ...

Trixie

[glassypeaks09]

Originally Posted by Speed & Trixie

Don't write off the "older" crowd just yet. Speed and I were amazed the first time we were at a club -- everyone (all ages) was looking SERIOUSLY hot! Plus the more experienced the swingers, the more you can learn from them ...

Trixie

Duly noted. We just don't want to feel like the only younger folks.