Question about her first bi-experience

[Mr.LoveUbye]

Hi All, Mrs.LoveUbye and I just had an interesting conversation and we thought we would post the question here to get some experienced answers! We were talking about her being with another woman for the first time and she can not decide if she would be more comfortable if I was there in the room with her or if she were alone with the woman. I am actually ok with it either way. We were wondering what your experiences with this have been? Thanks for the help!

[lustylearning]

I wish I had been alone with the woman. Both men were watching, which is understandable, but I felt performance anxiety, for lack of better words.

[LFM2]

With us, Dave has always been in the room with us. I'm not a shy person around him, though.

I did have the same thoughts though before I played with a woman for the first time. It just kinda happened the first time though, Dave was right there and it felt like a natural thing for me.

[bdrcc1]

1st of all, welcome to the board.

I suppose the comfortability factor come with ther circumstances and how you play in a regular manner. We always play together. With another couple - all of us together. 3-somes, etc., always together. So, for my first experience (as well as everone after), he was in room and that made me very much more comfortable. I think it was a safety factor for me, but then agian it comes back to the way we play - together. So if you dont always play together, she may be more comfy alone with the other women. I say go with the flow - if it feels good, do it! If not, use the safety word and regroup.

Mrs. bdrcc1

[Avril & Dec]

Hi
I too was performance affected the first time with a fem infront of Hubby but strangely not when it was another guy ?? Can say that when I met the same fem by chance, we ended up having one of the best sex sessions of all times. As we met more couples the performance anxiety just disappears.

Avril

[lustylearning]

For me the anxiety disappeared as I became more experienced with women. We usually play together, so I don't think it was that as much as newness to being with another woman

I still don't really know what I'm doing all the time. Every woman is different But now I enjoy it, regardless!

[sexcupid]

When Jeff and I were first talking about this and me exploring any bi-activities...I made him aware that as far as satisfying any curiosity I would much prefer to be alone, with no one watching. Just for the same reasons some of the other posters have mentioned, mostly performance anxiety and worrying too much about the whole 'putting on a show' aspect of having the guys watching...instead of just concentrating on the experience.

I've had some mild bi-experiences in the LS but as of yet no one on one time with another lady...which is kind of disappointing, but perhaps it will happen one of these days.

Work through the possibilities and keep discussing with your wife. One of her concerns, especially with adding another female may be that if the experience is supposed to be about her exploring her bi-curiosity...she may be concerned that you will become too excited and just jump in or become the center of attention and she will be left on the sidelines while you end up having sex with the other person.

Good luck figuring things out. Welcome to the Swingers Board.

[screaminggood]

What a nice husband you are to be so caring of her needs! My husband and the other husband watched my bi encounters, but I love to be an exhibitionist so knowing that men are getting hot watching us is another turn-on for me.

You two should talk some more about what her concerns are for watching versus non-watching. The answer will come to her when it's time.

[makeyashake]

I've found when everyone is hanging out, if the guys leave the ladies alone together for even a little while, ya shoot a game of pool or get drinks etc. The ladies are much more comfortable, and returning to the room can be very interesting

[realcplub2]

it all boils down to your personal choice.. and that of the potential playmate that is..

There are some women that want nothing more than some alone time with another woman to sexplore, and others that need to have the man/men in thier lives right there, to offer a bit of, err... a PILLAR OF SUPPORT..

best advice is to follow your own heart.. or nerves.. as the case may be.. if you want to go solo.. go solo.. however if you are planning on using this as foreplay.. then fly COACH

[CXXC]

Mrs. CXXC initially wanted to induldge in her first bi experience without me around. As it turns out, that didnt happen. However, after she was with he female lover, I asked her what she thought of the experience. Her answer cuaght me by suprise.
"I thought it was fun and very exciting. It was HOT! I just wonder if I was doing it for you or for myself!"
It was not until three days later when she had an experience without anyone but her female lover in the room. When she came to me immediately after and said, "That settles it! I'm Bi!"
She too was worried about performance issues when being watched. That never happened.

[iapr]

I'm not sure this is something that anyone can answer except her and you and the other lady and her partner. The laws of attraction and chemistry are so complex and unpredictable. It's pointless for you as a male to be asking this question in the first place because males wan to write things out in a script form and then have people follow that script. real life and real women just don't work that way. Unless you go to a brothel and lay your money down you are not going to be able to walk up to some woman and say that your wife would like to have her first bi experience with her and that the men should stay away vs should be in the room.

Whatever happens happens. It's all about attraction, chemistry and comfort and it is different with each person at any given time. If she and another gal are meant to have an experience together it is going to happen however it unfolds at that time. If you or anyone else try to script it, it will be a cold and unsatifying experience at best and a disaster at worse.