Running into someone you know

[cyfun98]

Hi,
The Mrs. and I were thinking of going to one of the "alternative nights" which are held occasionally here at a local bar in Connecticut. We are not swingers but want to do some flirtatious dirty dancing in an atmosphere where it will not be looked down upon.

We are afraid of running into someone we may know. We have been in the area all of our lives (late 40's) and know many people. Of course we think no one from our close inner circle of friends would be there but you never know. We think it could put us in an awkward position. Do people generally not bring up meetings outside of these events? We dont want to run into someone and then worry about seeing them in a "regular" situation.
Thanks,
Cyfun

[IvoryTowers]

While we've never met anyone we know at a swinger club, this is our thinking. If someone sees US at a swinger's event, it's because they are AT a swinger's event.

If it is someone you don't know well, you can just politely pretend not to see each other. If it is a friend, you should be able to talk and laugh about it. That's what friends are for.

[Begood03]

I say do what makes you happy. You shouldn't have live your life worried about what others may think. IMO

[JustAskJulie]

If you see them there, then they are there TOO! Say hello and treat them as you would if you ran into them anywhere. Of course, next time you see them in vanilla life you don't want to say "hey how was your time at such and such?". Basically, treat them how you'd want to be treated (you want discretion, so you have to give it). But, just running into someone.... it won't be any more awkward for you than you make it.

[bbarnsworth]

Being concerned about what other people think is giving them power over your lives. This topic comes up quite a bit, and the standard response is as IvoryTowers suggests.

[knb2004]

When we first told our vanilla neighbors we were swingers, one of the biggest questions they had was "What if you run into your BOSS at one of those parties?!??"

As Julie so wisely put it, our response to that question was, "Well, it would mean they're there, too, and that we have something in common." Simply put, I wouldn't spend a millisecond worrying about it.

[MrkLin]

We bumped into a couple we knew at an on-premise swing club one day, and they have become our best swing friends - and you, we've played together numerous times.

I was standing at the bar of the club, ordering a drink, when I heard a familiar voice off to my left, by the main entrance. I looked over and saw a lady I had worked with for two years and her husband. After we all got over the initial, "Oh my God - you two swing?" moment, we sat at the table together and talked things over. We had no concerns about them being discrete - I had know her for 2 years, after all, and had no Idea they were swingers. We all hit it off right away (I knew I would get along with her, and had secretly lusted after her for as long as I had known her,) and we have been great lifestyle friends ever since. Heh - by shear coincidence, I now work with her again, although she is in a completely different office. We see each other for about 10-15 minutes every day, and our 'extra-curricular activities' are never discussed there.

If you do happen to bump into someone you know, don't run the other way screaming. If you like them in vanilla life, walk up to them and greet them warmly. You never know - they might just turn into great lifestyle friends. They'll probably have a lot more experience in the lifestyle than you have, so they would be the perfect couple to ask questions of.

Overall, I'd say don't worry about it. If it happens, it happens - turn it to your advantage by becoming better friends with them.

[cyfun98]

Thanks for the advise. As we originally stated, we have not done any swinging and were looking to do dirty dancing. The boss comments are interesting. In the back of my mind I am worrying about seeing someone from my professional life but if we do then maybe it is a chance to turn it into a positive.

[sexylady1970]

Only recently we ran into two couples we know professionally in vanilla life. Nothing has changed and we all realized we had something in common that we did not know previously. Just laugh it off and remember, they are there too.

[JoeB]

Before we were married, my now wife went to her first party. There was a guy she went to high school and the copier repair man!

[MrkLin]

Originally Posted by MrkLin

We bumped into a couple we knew at an on-premise swing club one day, and they have become our best swing friends - and you, we've played together numerous times.

Man - I was guilty of PWI the night I posted this. I meant everything I said, but the part in the above quote that are in bold font should have said, "...and yes," NOT, "...and you."

My apologies to everyone involved.

[ViSexual]

OK, on these lines..., how many people do you know that you'd love to see at a swinger's event?

I was thinking about that as I read these posts and have already thought of several couples.

[MrkLin]

I work with the public, and the number of women I see on a daily basis that I would love to bump into at a swing club is impossible to count. As far as people we know are concerned, there are three or four couples we'd love to accidentally meet at a swing club. Others we know, however - well, one or two of them would be just downright scary...

[JoCoCpl]

At a local club, my wife and I ran into a man that used to attend the same church we used to go to. She knew him for many years before we met. While awkward at first, she soon was comfortable with the idea. So comfortable in fact that she did him during our next visit. :-)

[ctpiercedpair]

Originally Posted by cyfun98

Hi,
The Mrs. and I were thinking of going to one of the "alternative nights" which are held occasionally here at a local bar in Connecticut. We are not swingers but want to do some flirtatious dirty dancing in an atmosphere where it will not be looked down upon.

We are afraid of running into someone we may know. We have been in the area all of our lives (late 40's) and know many people. Of course we think no one from our close inner circle of friends would be there but you never know. We think it could put us in an awkward position. Do people generally not bring up meetings outside of these events? We dont want to run into someone and then worry about seeing them in a "regular" situation.
Thanks,
Cyfun

hey there neighbors!.. we live just outside of hartford. are you talking about leisure time? i would not worry about running into anyone. like everyone else has said.. if they are also there.. what are you worried about? plus the croud at l/t is great. we have been going there for a couple years now and have always had a great time, no pressure just relax and have as much fun as you are comfortable with. if you would like email us or im us and we can chat and see if we can help you out with any other questions you have.