Is she ready for the "real Deal"?

[happywjc]

We are empty nesters, and its pretty quite around here! Our sex life is nearly dead. She's shy about it, won't hardly touch her own toys, but when we get going, and she's going down on me, she rasies her ass to the ceiling and works it, as if she's enjoying a dp, or a 3 some! And just explodes several times!!
WOW.
I've been in life style relationships, that were not as hot as her fantacies! I mention her and 1-2 other guys, and she just says "your enough", but I know better! We talk about it a lot, and always end up in the bed together!
What is she signaling me? She enjoys porn w MMF/MMMF and goes crazy with it!
Should we go to the next level and look o another man or 2 for her! Its all about her "pleasure " to me! I'd enjoy helping her get her dream!
thanx
happy

[warrencouple]

A newb gets in an answer!

Coming from someone who brought it up to his wife about 2 months back, I would suggest discussing it with her before doing anything. My wife (and me) are completely new to this, and have yet to overcome enough to go to a club. You at least will be able to speak from experience with her (I'm presuming she already knows about your having been in the lifestyle previously?)

Let her set the pace. She may be just a "let's go to the club and have a good time, and get turned on" sort, or, she may want to jump right in and take on 5 guys at once...

But, talk with her about it, first and foremost.

I'm sure if anyone here disagrees with me, they'll pipe up...

Mr.

[turnuptheheat]

Fantasy and reality are like apples and....truck tires.
Very different.
You should talk in times that are not sexually charged and go from there.
May be that she is comfortable and excited in her mind, but would never, ever even seriously consider crossing the line to reality.
Talk.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by happywjc

Our sex life is nearly dead.

I've been in life style relationships...

I mention her and 1-2 other guys, and she just says "your enough", but I know better!

Its all about her "pleasure " to me! I'd enjoy helping her get her dream!

She doesn't want to swing, you do. You've swung before, no doubt miss it, and want to again because your "sex life is nearly dead" and you hope it will bring the dead back to life.

Your wife says your enough, but you say you "know better." I don't think you do. I think you're jumping to conclusions based on your wife's enjoyment of porn and fantasy. Enjoying those things doesn't mean she wants to live them out.

And I don't buy your pitch "it's all about her pleasure." Your post comes off as a man desperate to get his wife to do what he wants, to make his fantasies come true and make his sex life better.

I don't think swinging is her dream, but it's clear it is yours. Usually people recommend that you continue talking to her about swinging. In your case I'm going to suggest never bringing swinging up again, instead, wait and see if she brings up the topic of swinging when you aren't watching porn or having sex. Then listen to what she says without directing her. Listen and don't push the subject. She may never bring up swinging, or she may surprise you one day and say let's give it a try.

LM

[IvoryTowers]

Originally Posted by happywjc

She's shy about it, won't hardly touch her own toys, but when we get going, and she's going down on me, she rasies her ass to the ceiling and works it, as if she's enjoying a dp, or a 3 some! And just explodes several times!!

You're saying that your wife is both shy/won't play with sex toys and has multiple orgasms while going down on you?

Sorry, as a woman, I just don't buy it! How do you know that's she's cumming? First off, women can fake orgasms. Second, having a cock down your throat can cause gagging that could seem like "exploding."

Has your wife confirmed that she's some sort of Linda Lovelace/Deep Throat woman who really gets off on sucking cock? Do you use a toy to simulate DP or is she doing this all based on fantasy?

Yeah, the mind just boggles. I think you're misreading signals because you want to.

[Willing29]

First thing you should do is talk about it more, such as over coffee, dinner, in bed and out of bed. TALK, TALK, TALK! If she seems OK with the idea then maybe try a club to show here what it is all about. Make sure there is NO pressure and expectations. Maybe just go to look and dance then come home and talk about it. Then TALK about it some more.

[VANudistcpl]

Just because you feel that she wants more than you doesn't mean that she does. Even though we have been in the "lifestyle" for a little while, we still are taking things very slowly. We have talked endlessly and still do about what we both want and our limits.

Mrs. Nudist still says that I am more than enough for her.

[fun4Ds]

How long has the nest been empty ?

Are they your natural/adoptive children ?

There is allot to the empty nest syndrome. I think you should seriously consider this. I can assure you, this is important.... Things change.

Having great sex doesn't fill the nest, its a temporary soulution at best.

Talk to her about the empty nest, someone should.

As far as her raising her ass while giving you a blowjob...... God I love that Mrs fun does that just for me too

If Mrs fun is thinking of another man doing her from behind.... I wouldnt know, the rythmic movements of her ass, kind of puts me in a trance

[NotSorry]

Like others have said... fantasy and reality are two different things.

Talk to her. Ask her if it is something she'd like to try. But be clear, to both her and yourself, that sharing a fantasy in no way indicates that you mean for it to happen in real life. Be gentle understanding and willing to take no for an answer. Explore the idea of taking it into reality in a no-pressure way. It should be something you both want to do or it shouldn't happen at all. Be warned that if you are too pushy she may shut down. I would.

Mrs. NotSorry

[2inSanDiego4u]

The best thing you can do is to try to get your wife to come to this site, sign up and ask lots of questions. If she is willing to do this and keep an open mind, she might be open to swinging sometime in the future.

[JustAskJulie]

Happy,

I'm in the group with questions. How do you know that your wife is having multiple orgasms while going down on you? And are you doing something to stimulate said orgasms? Has she told you she's having orgasms or are you just assuming it from some physical reaction?

You say she goes crazy when you watch porn with MFM or more, in what way does she go crazy? And if she gets that wild and crazy when you watch said porn, then why don't you try doing that more to wake up your dead sex life? It sounds like you know what works for her, but you want something more.