Help!! We really want to but....

[funtimz2]

We are new just like so many others. We have been exploring the fantasy side for now. The wife does not want to swing until she has her tummy tuck and her breast implants done. (Two kids C-Section) Which is going to happen next month. Which she is very excited about. We were very ready to meet with some interested couples we met online after she heals but we have a new concern. STDS!! We are both very healthy and don't want to catch anything. We know all about safe sex. But how can we make these fantasys come true without risking our health.

[ncmd_couple]

Funtimz,

STDs are a concern of all of us. There have been numerous threads here that discuss STDs, condum use, etc. If you look at the STD & Safe Sex forum, you will find a lot of information on this topic.

S

[JustAskJulie]

The only 100% way to avoid STDs is to not have sex, oral or otherwise. I would suggest that you sit down together and do some serious research into the actual effects of STDs vs the actual likelihood of getting an STD, do a lot of reading and then make your decision based on the knowledge that yes they are out there, and no you can't avoid them completely.

[funtimz2]

Good advice. What do you do to feel comfortable? Not to pry but we are just looking for some answers any and all. Thanks

[LFM2]

The funny thing about swingers is that they all do a variety of things. They do what's comfortable for them. Some go bareback (don't use a condom at all) all the time, some use condoms all the time, some only wear condoms for sex but will do oral without a dam or condom. It's all a matter of preference.

The real question is: What's comfortable for you two? That's what matters. If you do a search and read the various threads on STD's, you might be able to come to a conclusion of what would be of value in your relationship.

I taught STD's classes to teenagers for years. How to catch them, how to cure them if they could be cured, and how to prevent them. Julie's right. The only way to be sure you won't get an STD is complete abstinence or 20 year monogamy.

BTW... to the Swinger's Board!

[N8ture Girl]

Hmmm, how do I say this with out comming off wrong... If I may ask, why does your wife feel she needs a tummy tuck and breast implants? Insecurity? Just curious is all, I find nothing wrong or distasteful or ugly about seeing a woman who has had a C-section...And as far as breast implants, What's wrong with small boobs!? Bigger is not always better... and for many it is a turn off. This is just my honest opinion, but really think about the "why" and will it really make her feel better? Usually the case is no, we tend to find something else we dislike.... If she feels like she has to go under the knife to feel better about herself, then having surgery will only make her feel good for so long..

Just food for thought. None of us are perfect, and we all have our little things we like to change, surgery only changes the outside appearance, where we need the change is on the inside..

Best of luck to you and your wife.

[TravlParty]

What do you do to feel comfortable?

I think about what if.

What if my husband died and I was single again. Would I be happy with a sexless life? Absolutely no. I'd be out in the "single dating" world again. Actually, I'd be a single female in the Lifestyle because I feel I'd be safer.

You simply have to go with your gut and be informed about STDs.

We attended a seminar hosted by a nurse, who was also a swinger. Something she said really stood out to me. "Most swingers get STD panels more than the average population (because we do worry), and if anything were wrong (even simply a yeast infection), they would not go out to play. Would you really be here at this convention knowing you had a STD?"

[funtimz2]

She is having the surgery to better herself and is something that she wants done. She has a hard time finding clothes that fit her because of the stomach issue. She is not very tall so it makes it difficult. The breasts are just a lift from breastfeeding. She is not getting big uns. Not that there is anything wrong with big uns.

[funtimz2]

Thanks that is good advice!!

[Chicup]

Swinging.

Swinging is a form of Russian roulette. I assume everyone knows what that is, but if you don't its putting one bullet into a revolver, spinning the cylinder and pulling the trigger on your own head.

The difference is that in Russian roulette, you have a 1/6 chance of blowing your brains out. In swinging the cylinder is much bigger and most of the bullets are rubber, they hurt like hell but won't kill you.

So as a swinger, no matter how careful you are you might get HSV 2, HPV, or AIDS. Those are the big ones to worry about, and its a real risk, but how much of a risk is what the issue is. I won't go on and on with stats and studies, but the risk of a real bullet, AIDS, is small enough I don't worry about it at all. HSV 2 and HPV we worry about, its a risk, but we consider the benefit to our marriage and mental health to be worth the risk of taking a rubber bullet.

[Playful1]

If you engage in sex with another person, you run a risk.

The best you can do is be smart/safe about it. Use condoms. If that means you even want to use one for oral sex, go ahead.

There is no way to keep 100% safe from EVERY STD out there unless you just don't engage in sexual activity. Particularly things like herpes and HPV which can be transmitted by skin to skin contact, not just fluids.

[Cpl2share]

Remember back in the early 80's when the new std's came on the scene and were going to kill swinging and all non solo sex?

Q: What is the difference between Herpes and AIDS?
A: Herpes is a love story and aids is a fairy tale.

Now that I have pissed off everyone who is unable to laugh at themselves: It can happen, and it does happen. If you decide to swing it is a risk that you will have to take. No different than driving a car. If you decide to leave your house you are at risk of getting in an accident that could cripple or kill you. You weigh the risks, take precautions (wear a seat belt, look both ways, pay attention to traffic lights) and then go where you are going. If the risks are not worth it to you, you do not go out.

[tribbles]

The only two I worry about are HPV (and that only cuz now they think there may be a link to throat cancers, I have no cervix) and AIDS.

And to be honest, I worry more about other health issues than I do any of the STD's swinging could put me at risk for.

[swinging_in_NE]

Originally Posted by N8ture Girl

Hmmm, how do I say this with out comming off wrong... If I may ask, why does your wife feel she needs a tummy tuck and breast implants? Insecurity? Just curious is all, I find nothing wrong or distasteful or ugly about seeing a woman who has had a C-section...And as far as breast implants, What's wrong with small boobs!? Bigger is not always better... and for many it is a turn off. This is just my honest opinion, but really think about the "why" and will it really make her feel better? Usually the case is no, we tend to find something else we dislike.... If she feels like she has to go under the knife to feel better about herself, then having surgery will only make her feel good for so long..

Just food for thought. None of us are perfect, and we all have our little things we like to change, surgery only changes the outside appearance, where we need the change is on the inside..

Best of luck to you and your wife.

I have big breasts and my husband loves the variety of smaller breasts, medium breasts, you name it. Plus, MANY of us out there have had c-sections, gallbladder sugery, you name it. Perfect bods are models that are 21 years old that have no children and nothing better to do than go to the gym daily. Most of us normal people are lucky to make it once a week. I have pondered a tummy tuck (try four c-sections with 9 and 10 pound kids), but it has not been an issue for anyone and frankly, I'd rather spend my money on something FOR my kids than money on this stuff.